2016 July

sounds of the evening rain at home

(gotta love the repeating numbers… i started recording this at 21:12:27 on 7.31)

facing the frustrations. so, where to even begin? i was feeling a lot of different things earlier today. some things such as not wanting to deal with having to figure out a new phone carrier as my friend is cancelling the plan i was a part of.. and things like that trigger other emotions related to him and others, such as feeling that i’ve been taken advantage of by not getting paid fairly for all the work i’ve done for […]

sounds mid-day at brooker creek preserve

(using a real camera would’ve helped this look much better!)

it’s nice that the last couple years when i’ve gone up to chicagoland in november, that i’ve felt like seeing snow and have had the first snow of the season show up during the week or so i’ve been in town. as you can see in the video, the morning commute in and evening commute out of the city weren’t exactly the most pleasant. it’s hard to fathom why so many people put themselves through that every single day, especially with the long winters up there. i was a bit upset that my friend didn’t pay me for the time i was up there evaluating a new business opportunity for him (and he never got me any work out of it), though i’m grateful i don’t have to be dealing with that sort of traffic on an everyday basis. i enjoy the long commute i have from one bedroom to the other :) i’m also grateful that i got invited to multiple thanksgiving dinners while i was in town. it was really nice to spend time with different friends while i was in town in the cold winter.

here are the details (and order) of the cameras and exposure settings used for the star-lapse shots in this video:

2014.10.25 Crystal Beach
– Canon 5D with Sigma 12-24mm Lens, 30 sec @ f/4.5, ISO 3200, zoom at 12mm
– GoPro Hero4 Silver, 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 800

2014.10.27 R.E. Olds Park, Oldsmar
– GoPro Hero4 Silver, 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 800
– GoPro Hero4 Silver, 5 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 800
(followed by walking + driving at same 5 second exposure)

2014.11.02 Crystal Beach
– Canon 5D with Sigma 12-24mm Lens, 30 sec @ f/4.5, ISO 3200, zoom at 12mm
– Sony NEX-5N with Sony 16mm Pancake Lens with VCL-ECU1 Ultra Wide 0.75x Converter, 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 1600
– Canon 5D with Sigma 8mm Circular Fisheye Lens, 30 sec @ f/3.5, ISO 3200
– GoPro Hero4 Silver, 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 800

2014.11.03 Indian Rocks Beach
– Canon 5D with Sigma 12-24mm Lens, 30 sec @ f/4.5, ISO 3200, zoom at 12mm
– Canon 5D with Sigma 12-24mm Lens, 30 sec @ f/4.5, ISO 1600, zoom at 12mm
– Canon 5D with Sigma 8mm Circular Fisheye Lens, 30 sec @ f/3.5, ISO 1600
– Sony NEX-5N with Sony 16mm Pancake Lens with VCL-ECU1 Ultra Wide 0.75x Converter, 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 800
– GoPro Hero4 Silver, 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 800

2014.11.04 Trinity (car on unfinished street)
– Canon 5D with Sigma 12-24mm Lens, 30 sec @ f/4.5, ISO 1600, zoom at 12mm
– Canon 5D with Sigma 8mm Circular Fisheye Lens, 30 sec @ f/3.5, ISO 1600
– Sony NEX-5N with Sony 16mm Pancake Lens with VCL-ECU1 Ultra Wide 0.75x Converter, 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 400
– GoPro Hero4 Silver, 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 800

2014.11.07 Crystal Beach
– Canon 5D with Canon 35/2 Lens, 30 sec @ f/2, ISO 800
– Canon 5D with Canon 35/2 Lens, 30 sec @ f/2, ISO 400
– Sony NEX-5N with Nikon 20/2.8 Lens (via LensBaby Tilt Transformer adapter), 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 1600
– Sony NEX-5N with Nikon 20/2.8 Lens (via LensBaby Tilt Transformer adapter), 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 800

2014.11.09 Crystal Beach
– Canon 5D with Canon 35/2 Lens, 30 sec @ f/2, ISO 1600
– Sony NEX-5N with Nikon 20/2.8 Lens (via LensBaby Tilt Transformer adapter), 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 3200

2014.11.10 Clearwater Beach
– Canon 5D with Canon 35/2 Lens, 30 sec @ f/2, ISO 800
– Sony NEX-5N with Nikon 20/2.8 Lens (via LensBaby Tilt Transformer adapter), 30 sec @ f/2.8, ISO 1600

i shot these over a year and a half ago so i don’t remember all the exact details.. (and i didn’t include details above for all of the few frames / quick shots between the longer starlapse shots.. this isn’t meant to be the most scientific test as i have made some quick adjustments to the images in lightroom too) i think i first started these tests to explore how well the new gopro camera would perform with its nightlapse mode compared to my then current setup for ultra-wide angle night shots with the 12-24mm lens. (all the gopro shots have been ‘defished’ in lightroom as this is how i would process them and this could possibly replace the 12-24mm setup) i think i was thinking that when i travel, it’d be neat to be able to shoot everything with the gopro camera rather than have to bring multiple camera systems (especially as the gopro can be charged and run off of usb power, and the life on the road videos i was working on back then were taking a very long time to edit having been shot with multiple cameras). then i probably became curious as to how the 5d setup would compare to the nex-5n for night shots, and also tried the 5d with the 8mm lens as depending on how that looked, i could sell the 12-24mm and begin to reduce the amount of gear i had if i were to defish the circular fisheye image (which i didn’t do in this video) and effectively use that as an ultra-wide angle lens. after doing these tests, i decided to compare the 35/2 and the 20/2.8 with both cameras as these would give a similar field of view with the full frame vs cropped aps-c size sensor.

a few weeks later, after seeing that i don’t necessarily need all of this gear that i had to make certain shots, i sold most of my canon gear except i kept one 5d body with the 8mm lens as i could still use this with a custom rig i had to create little planet images and time-lapses (i had the first ricoh theta camera back then though the quality was nowhere near what my custom setup could do and it couldn’t shoot at night). nearly a year later, toward the end of the summer of 2015, i ended up selling the whole 360 degree rig, including the camera, lens, motor, custom head, and tripod mounting components. it was nice to get rid of so much extra weight that was just sitting here taking up space. i can’t remember the last time i had used the rig and shot something before that. the last time i used the 8mm was to shoot these tests and i only used the 5d one other time after the tests to shoot a few pinhole images. shortly after selling the gear for the 360 degree rig, ricoh announced the latest theta s camera that would be able to shoot night shots. gotta love divine guidance! :) perfect timing on selling the gear. the theta s camera is so, so much simpler to use than my old setup. my old setup could’ve gotten some more detail but the tradeoff for being able to use a camera that weighs next to nothing and fits in my pocket versus having to lug around many pounds of gear plus large and heavy tripods or stands to mount it is definitely worth it. i can shoot so many more images having less gear to carry, and i can go much further with less and mount a smaller camera in many more unique places. to be able to shoot a single elevated 360×180 degree image, i’d be looking at 45-50 lbs of gear i’d have to carry with the old rig compared to less than 2 lbs with the new setup (and i can hold the new pole i use above my head for a higher vantage point than the large light stand i used to lug around). simplify your gear. (and your life) it takes away the burden so you can focus your time and energy on creating images and embracing the moment rather than carrying and keeping track of things.

[2016.07.06] miracles, opening up, authenticity, etc

i experienced some miracles today.. both little ones such as just making it to my car a minute before it started raining, and more important ones such as the whole experience at the satsang at the flowering heart center tonight that was exactly what i needed. i was a little hesitant to share in the beginning when it was starting though the conversation starting going about things related to companionship, loneliness, connecting with others, personalities, etc, etc. near the end Suzanne asked me if i wanted to share when there was a pause as i was still a little slow to say something (though i was feeling i did want to say something at different points during the conversation), and i shared some of what i was going through or struggling with related to connecting with others. i felt a little nervous at first when i first started speaking in front of the group and sharing though i was fine shortly into it and was able to share a couple other pieces after as others responded. it was really beautiful and a miracle that the whole satsang was exactly what i needed to hear without me even asking for it directly. thank you everyone for your sharing and presence! i recorded an audio of myself speaking a bit about this (amongst some other rambling). it’s funny as last night i was just thinking and feeling like recording an audio program where i was just being funny or opening up more, taking on one of the personalities or voices that i used to have fun with a lot, though i didn’t [and it sounds like a bit of this voice started to come out in the beginning of the recording tonight]. it was really perfect how everything unfolded at the satsang tonight and i’m grateful for the experience and for continuing to open up and accept myself as i am and allow my self to express myself in different ways, authentically and enjoyably.

bringing the darkness to light sometimes we must face what’s going on deep down inside in order to heal.  often we may resist doing this as there are parts of ourselves we don’t want to see nor admit are still there.  the mind can become very good at distracting itself from what is there or putting its attention into doing something else when a bit of the unpleasant feeling arises.  though it’s up to us to decide to face the […]

 

sounds at honeymoon island a few minutes after sunset

sounds at lansbrook park in the morning

sounds of nature in the morning at john chestnut park

gotta love the energy and the feeling and the letting go… also the repeating numbers, i remember seeing this happening when i was feeling excited recording some of my audio programs last year.. the length of this audio when i hit stop was just under 20 min 18 sec, the time was 1:18, and the file size was 10,111,411 bytes! i love the divine wink (as one of my friends put it)

 

sounds of the waves at honeymoon island in the early evening

sounds of nature at the entrance of friends trail in brooker creek preserve in the afternoon

i took a little nap after writing what i did in the previous post and it ended up being a couple hours. so i want to continue to explore more aspects of what i was examining before, about why i want what i want. i think the whole traveling idea comes down to freedom. i want to feel like going somewhere and be able to do so easily. in a van or with my truck camper, i’d be able to […]

looks like its time to dive into whatever it is i’m feeling again. i was laying in bed for quite a while, it was another night i didn’t sleep that well. i’ve been sleeping pretty well most of this month, though a few weeks ago i did have some times of not sleeping that i wrote about. it was related to wanting to ask a girl out and failing to do so. i saw her again last night and didn’t get to connect with her. i ended up talking with another friend whom i hadn’t seen in a while which was nice. though i didn’t really get to talk to the girl i wanted to talk to. she was talking with a couple others in conversation and i didn’t make my way over there as i was talking with a few others. i did hug her and say it was nice to see her as she was leaving, and i did feel a little of her energy and a connection earlier. as i was just laying in bed, a few things were coming to me of what i was facing and going through. these were things related to the issues i’ve experienced in connecting with others. it’s been easy for me to connect with someone whom i already know, or know is unavailable, or someone i’m not interested in. though when it’s a nice girl in her 20s or 30s, some resistance shows up. or i don’t even feel the resistance and i just don’t know what to say. or i’m in the midst of whatever i was in and she shows up unexpectedly and i don’t really engage or connect with her as i was focused on whatever it was that i was doing (like grocery shopping if i run into someone there.. i think i also have some sort of resistance about connecting with a girl while she’s working as i don’t want to bother her or be the guy hitting on the waitress so to speak). mostly i see this all comes down to vulnerability. there’s a part of me that’s resisting connecting with a girl, a part of me that’s afraid, as i know if i do, my life could change quite drastically. it’s not that i don’t want change, as i’ve been wanting to have an amazing relationship with a girl for a long time. though perhaps part of me does enjoy certain aspects of my life now. though that’s not really it either. it feels like it’s that i know i could easily fall in love if i open my heart to someone. and although i do want to fall in love and have a great relationship with a girlfriend, there’s something there blocking it. it feels like perhaps its not being able to decide exactly who it is that i want, or not being able to decide all the aspects of what i want in a relationship or what it’ll look like. though that’s not really it. what it feels like it really is, that all of these struggles with connecting with others is, is that i’ve been hurt in the past when i’ve opened my heart. and in different ways. part of me wants to have a beautiful community and feel like family, and i had a group of friends that i really had a lot of fun with a long time ago though there was an issue/drama between a couple of them and that ended up splitting up the group. i was also going in my own direction at the time and saw that a lot of them were not the best influence. and when i went to the avatar course, i felt really close to a lot of my friends there and we felt like family, especially when a number of us were staying together for a couple weeks at a timeshare condo for the wizard course. when we got close to the end of the course i began to feel the pain and hurt knowing we were all leaving soon and going to different parts of the country and world, and might not see each other for a long time (or in some cases ever again). it really hurt to get to feel so close to others and then to have that all of a sudden gone. i guess this must be what it feels like when someone loses someone they love when they transition at death. it must be a similar feeling. something else is coming up in this moment.. i’ve never really felt that sort of loss with someone passing as those that i’ve known that have passed i haven’t been that close to. but i’ve felt these deep losses with losing friends or girlfriends when relationships have ended. and i’ve never known what really to say to someone else when they’ve experienced someone they’ve loved passing away. there were a couple other things i want to say though they’re not there at this moment… ah, yes, another part of it that i was remember was that when i had an amazing transformational experience at the avatar course several years ago, i remember more easily connecting with others and feeling in a higher place than i feel i’ve been the past couple years.. i remember feeling really connected to others i’d meet, and like i would easily fall in love with girls i’d meet as i’d have an open heart. i think this also relates to the decision aspect. perhaps i feel or think i need to decide what i want in a relationship first so i can use some discernment ahead of time. otherwise, if i have an open heart, i may just fall in love with the first person i meet and connect with when my heart is open. looking at that, that might not be a bad thing, as the divine could be placing the exact person i need to meet and connect with and fall in love with right there for me. perhaps i don’t need to be thinking about this so much and just open my heart. though i remember a few years back, a friend i met at the avatar course told me not to fall in love so easily when he saw how i felt about the girls i would meet. i remember hugging a friend goodbye at the end of the wizard course who didn’t stay with the group/family at the condo, though we or i saw her fairly often during the courses and when i knew she was leaving to go overseas, i really felt the pain/hurt/upset as i was hugging her when she was leaving, and she felt it too as i think i was shaking a bit as i was embracing her. i feel for a lot of or most of my life i’ve been really sensitive, and when i’ve been hurt or felt i’ve needed to control or avoid the possibility of being hurt, i would close up (and this is in other ways too, like in needing to make sure i don’t be too spontaneous and spend lots of money when i only have a limited amount coming in, as i know i can easily be sponatenous and spend a lot when i fall in love with someone or am living with an open heart). i feel these issues are related to trust. as i’ve been hurt in the past, i feel that i’ve had to live from the mind or not open my heart up as i can’t trust it’s going to work out.. it’s like i’ve got to make absolutely sure everything is going to work out as i want it to in order for it to. so now as i face issues such as having to pay for a condo and car and all the related expenses (and not wanting to lose everything i’ve put into it so far), and i haven’t been getting paid as much as i was before, i end up in a struggle and feel i can’t fully enjoy life until i know all of this is taken care of and there’s nothing to worry about. as i find myself sitting here for so long and not doing the things i want to be doing in life, or even if i’m doing some things i enjoy like going to parks and photographing, as i find myself not fully embracing the moment and really enjoying or experiencing life or simply relaxing, i start to look for external solutions to fix this, as the things i’m not liking are in the external world. so for example, i see that living in this condo isn’t perfect.. yes there are some aspects that are good about it, though there are some things i’d prefer different.. as such, i start to look for other options. i start to chase after solutions that don’t exist. like finding inexpensive land to build a home or live out of an rv or camper around here. and in the areas i want to be, land is pretty expensive. then the thought of traveling or living out of a van comes to mind. which could be fun, though would this simply be a distraction to try to solve the real issue of opening my heart.. sometimes i feel these external things could solve the issue, as i know i could relax if i had less to worry about or if the things in the external world were going the way i wanted them to. and if i could relax, i could naturally open my heart. but then i wonder if this whole cycle would simply repeat itself in a different way. when i earned a good amount of money the year after i took the avatar course, i got a truck camper and didn’t really think it all out. i was looking for an inexpensive rv option and was leaning towards the truck camper for the versatility and it was the least expensive way to get into an rv. though when i traveled the country in it, i sometimes or often found it difficult to find places to park at night where i wouldn’t be seen or disturbed, especially when i wasn’t out in the middle of nowhere or in a national park or forest or something. after looking at some options, the one i picked felt right and i went with it. perhaps it was right for what i needed to experience, but was it really right.. if that’s the feeling i trusted and went with and it didn’t all go exactly as i planned, how do or can we trust feelings.. i know things change and can change quite quickly after embarking on a spiritual journey, and i enjoy some change, though i also would like some degree of permanance. like in a home, i’d like a place i can always come back to and know it’s there, and not have to go through all the effort of figuring out where to live nor having to throw money away on renting something, etc, etc. but now that i have my own home and i have to struggle to pay for it and i don’t even like it fully, i wonder if that even matters. anyhow, that’s another tangent. going back to trust, i can see many years ago, before this whole spiritual journey, or at least before choosing to go on it and learning more about spirituality, i lived more wrecklessly, following my feelings, and i got hurt in different ways. i suppose i wasn’t really that wreckless, though i’m not sure exactly what it is about it.. perhaps i felt that i wasn’t really going anywhere in life and i was just having fun and now i need to be more responsible to have my own home and such… i know i had my heart broken multiple times, and i think i’ve been feeling that i need to take care of all of the things in my life that had previously led to a failed relationship so i can make it work this time. and i feel there’s so much to do. as i take care of some things, i see it getting easier and the space opening up, though perhaps i’m seeking perfection too much. i know it’s been amazing when i’ve fallen in love and have felt like its just been a long honeymoon, though when something didn’t work out, like we didn’t have money or didn’t fully open up to share what we were feeling or struggling with, or whatnot, things fell apart. i think another thing i’m facing is that i know i want to continue to grow and expand on this spiritual journey, and continue to increase my awareness, though i don’t know if i would want to once in i’m a relationship or if i’d be able to do both. i know i could find someone else on a similar journey or someone who’s open to this, though i see so many people out there that are in much different places in their lives, and interested in very different things. i think to a degree this all comes back to the decision aspect, and not knowing what to decide. perhaps its also thinking i need to decide, that i can’t have both. this reminds me that i can have both. i can create a life that has everything i desire. though i mustn’t get too caught up in the seeking perfection aspect of it and just allow it. though at the same time, i think i would be quite happy just having a loving relationship and not feel the need to expand my awareness as far. part of me just wants to enjoy life. perhaps i just need to surrender and open my heart. though i also feel in this need to surrender, that as i let go of different aspects of who i am, then i find myself not knowing who i am. and it becomes more difficult to relate to or connect with others, as i feel it’s already been difficult as i don’t have a lot of the same interests or experiences in life as a lot of other people. perhaps it’s only as i’m looking at the shallow aspects of what each of us like, and i ought to connect with someone more deeply. but then that goes back to opening my heart and being vulnerable. so i’m not sure where i’m going with all this. it seems to be going in a loop. i guess this is what it’s like to be stuck. i’ve seen this before with various aspects of life. i suppose i could just choose an exit point and leave this loop. i can change whatever it is i want, though must decide what to change. i feel as i free up space by exploring this and getting this out there, it becomes easier to naturally feel what it is i do want. as i let go of what no longer serves me, it gets easier to open my heart and allow what can serve me. i always feel i need to end on a positive note like that. like i need to find a way out. it doesn’t always have to be like that. this is really just me exploring some of the issues i’m facing. i may find solutions though i need not force them. i know i’m on the right path, though still don’t have all the answers. i suppose i just gotta ask for divine grace to guide me and naturally open my heart, and if that involves healing and letting go, then to open me up to fully experience those feelings and fully release them. i simply want to enjoy my life and have meaningful relationships/friendships with others and have a deep connection with a girl in a loving, committed relationship. i want to feel alive and love my life and let my light shine brilliantly.

today’s miracles

today i experienced a few nice miracles.. after trying to sell my old laptop for over half a year, i finally got an offer i accepted a few days ago. i hadn’t received payment and was still a little skeptical i would actually sell it, though i got a message late this morning that he’d be sending payment soon. it was perfect timing as i had a few other things i had sold that i was about ready to ship and was going to be meeting my sister shortly at my parent’s house to work on her computer that i was helping her sell. i wasn’t sure if i was going to make it in time though to the local ups store as the mail pickup was going to be right around the time i’d be receiving payment if i waited too long. i went over to my folks’ house and brought the boxes with me. after experiencing some issues with the cheap packing tape not working properly in the tape holder (and breaking into small pieces) as i attempted to seal the boxes, i got everything packed up and ready to go. i went online to check if i had received payment for my computer and saw the funds had arrived. as i was on the computer i heard my mom or sister say that the mailman had just passed by. i grabbed the boxes and ran outside to see if i could catch him to give him the packages. carrying a few boxes, i didn’t want to run and as i was halfway towards him i figured i might not catch up (or it’d be a good ways until i did), so i turned back and headed towards the house and waited a few minutes for him to come back down the other side of the street. i gave him the boxes and didn’t have to worry about missing the pick-up time at the ups store or making a longer trip over to the post office.

back at the computer, i prepared the package for my old laptop that had sold and worked on my sister’s computer. i also saw that i had received an unexpected offer for something else. i don’t recall if this was before i ran out to give the boxes to the mailman or after. i had written back asking to split the difference between the offer and what i was asking, and didn’t necessarily expect it to sell at that price as most times i’ve done that, i haven’t heard back or have received another lower offer. though when i first noticed i had an offer, i figured i should respond to it then rather than wait so i could print out the label for it if it did sell. i also saw that i had gotten another payment for one of the small things that i was waiting payment for. this morning when i woke up i hadn’t received most of the payments and figured i’d have to be making multiple trips to drop everything off as i got paid. shortly after i sent the offer back, i noticed a new message and saw that it said i had received payment for what i had just sent the offer back for. it was exciting to see all of these things selling and funds coming my way. i’m now only waiting on one more small payment (and payment for whatever else unexpectedly sells). the pile i have of stuff to sell is so much smaller now than it was not long ago. i had sold a few smaller things not long ago after i got back from chicago and hadn’t transferred those funds over yet. i was waiting for a little more to sell before doing so. it was nice to unexpectedly get the offer today as i was working on preparing the things that had sold, so i could transfer all of those funds at once rather than wait until i sold more a little later. between what i just sold this weekend and the bit i had sold in recent weeks, i received more than i have most months this year working for my friend. now by no means is this a lot of money (as i’ve been paid very little by my friend this year), though i’m very grateful for the abundance that does flow into my life (especially when it’s a nice unexpected surprise). the most exciting part of this is that as soon as the funds transfer i will have met the first part of a financial goal i’ve had for a long time. i’ll now have enough in my accounts to be able to pay back all of my debts if i want to. though i won’t do so just yet as i don’t want to be left with nothing in my accounts. i’ll keep a backup and as i continue to receive extra funds that i could save, i can now put those funds towards paying down the debts and then towards my next adventure, whatever that might be.

i did end up having to make a trip to the post office to drop off the unexpected package that had sold, though didn’t mind doing so. i saw dark clouds on the way there and on the way back, though i made it into my condo just before the rain started. i saw a few drops on my windshield as i was almost home and i think i felt one drop as i was walking in. when i got inside, i went to the bathroom for a minute or two, and then i looked out the window and saw that the rain was coming down. and i had a couple obstacles that delayed me a little bit too. i was behind someone for a little bit who’s car must’ve been having issues as she got out to look under the hood or at something in the front. i had thought for a brief moment if i should stop and help or ask if she was okay or needed a push though i was on a business call at the time. less than a minute later as cars were going around me, i saw the lady getting back in the car and driving off. a few minutes later when i got over to the ups store to drop off the computer, i was going to park right in front of the store though saw a sherrif’s office vehicle parked a couple stores up and figured i probably shouldn’t stop in the fire lane even if for less than a minute, so i took a little extra time to go into a parking spot and turn off the car and run into the store. in the store, the first computer the guy was on wasn’t working. and when he went over to another one, it seemed like that was also having an issue or perhaps he was expecting an issue. i quietly changed my energy slightly to be at peace and the computer was working seconds later. i got the receipt and headed home before the rain.

i had woken up earlier than usual this morning as i had gone to sleep early last night while waiting for some parts of a time-lapse video i’m working on to render. i didn’t feel like working on it when i woke up after passing out last night so only checked on it briefly and then went back to sleep. i had had issues with some of the files not rendering properly due to some bug in photoshop. i was a bit frustrated and didn’t want to deal with checking all the frames one at a time when i had woken up in the middle of the night. this morning when i woke up, i found that every single frame had rendered correctly overnight. (and this was after all of them except three rendered incorrectly yesterday) being up early, i was hearing a little noise from the neighbor so i thought i’d put something on to listen to. i had seem some long meditation mantra recordings on my screen, and decided to pick one of those. the one i picked was a powerful wealth mantra. i listened to it for the entire 3 hours and 3 minutes. i even had it on really low in the background as i was making a call to the car insurance company to see if i could get a discount as my renewal was coming up. they didn’t offer my anything right then though told me about a program that could give me a nice discount later on. and i also got some quotes that were quite reasonable for a truck or van i’d been considering. perhaps listening to this mantra helped that unexpected sale come in and helped the payment of my laptop arrive too. i’m grateful and excited for all the abundance that flows into my life and for new doors that are opening for me. and for letting go of what no longer serves me and seeing these old things disappear (be it the things i’m selling, the old emotions or thinking or stories i’m accepting or letting go of, or these old videos that i’m very quickly working through this month). i look forward for what continues to unfold as i continue to let go and learn to surrender to the moment and flow with life.

i’m very grateful that i was able to recover the quadcopter with my iphone on it.. i recall on one of the shots where i had it flying out over the middle of the lake, i couldn’t tell which way it was pointing as i had spun it around to get different views (and it was a tiny dot in the sky), and the return to home emergency button didn’t seem to be responding. i tried different modes to try to bring it back to me though i didn’t know if it had gotten the proper gps lock and compass direction or whatnot.. the flight had gone longer than other ones and i didn’t know how much longer the battery would keep it in the sky so was a bit concerned. i think i had to ask for divine grace to help me at that point and surrender to the possibility that i might lose it in the water. shortly after that, i don’t remember exactly what i tried (as this shot was over a year and half ago), though i somehow managed to fly it back. i was so glad to see that it appeared to be getting bigger and that i was able to tell which direction it was heading as i guided it towards me. as it kept getting closer, i kept hoping the battery would last long enough to get it back over the dock or close enough nearby as i saw the red light blinking indicating it was just about out of power. another time after this at honeymoon island, i don’t know if it was in this series of shots or some other time, i had an issue where it wasn’t responding and i think it was windy and i didn’t know if i was going to get it back. i’m really grateful i’ve always somehow managed to fly it safely back (and was able to retrieve it from a tree the one time i lost sight of it and it crashed way up high in a 40+ ft tall tree).