it was awesome to hear from my friend Matt today. his call was unexpected. i had expected to talk to him over the weekend but didn’t hear from him and i wasn’t thinking of when he’d reach out to me. funny how when one surrenders attachment and things show up effortlessly.
hearing his excitement and feeling his gratitude was really great. i could sense his happiness for where he was at in his life and how he was manifesting what he wanted (and some things after seemingly a long time).
it was quite beautiful to be able to feel that connection. what a great reminder to me it was as well. i create this reality, and all i have to do is actually manifest it. know it, believe it, and feel it, and it will manifest. it was awesome and inspiring to hear what he’s created in his life.
i hadn’t talked to him in probably close to a couple of years and it was great to get a sense of how he’s grown just from hearing his voice in our brief phone call.
it’s truly a blessing to have friends who are on a similar spiritual path. i’m grateful for all who i do know and those i have yet to meet.
i’ve been resisting going to events and meeting people here for a variety of reasons, though now that i am releasing that which no longer serves me, i am making room to meet new people and create strong bonds with others also on a spiritual path.
thank you Matt for the call and the inspiration it gave me!
..still thinking about my experience last night at the oneness meditation. it was so amazing and very powerful. in the past i would resist doing the ananda mandala breathing exercise before the meditation, though i decided to allow it to flow more smoothly this time and to have a better experience, and i did! i didn’t worry so much about whether i was exactly in sync with the breathing in and out and i had a good experience. i felt more present after such. i think it was during the ananda mandala or perhaps right after, that i was going through a little bit of what was in my mind, and i got to the point where i was just ready to be done with it all. i don’t remember exactly what i was feeling, but i knew there was a better way than to continue the patterns of getting caught up with the junk that was showing up in my physical reality. at some point, i decided to choose god realization as my intention and my path. i had chosen it in the past but hadn’t been so focused on it in the last couple years or so since i got so caught up in other matters. i know i used to be happier and more inspired when i was more deliberately on the spiritual path, so it was time to really decide to set my intentions as i so desired. i’ve been listening to wayne dyer programs the last few weeks that have really helped me shift my perspectives. i forgot how strong his message was. he really does convey high spiritual messages in his programs. i’ve been feeling better overall since i’ve begun re-listening to his message though i’ve still had a little of ups and downs as i’ve tried to let go of attachments though still find charges when certain things don’t show up as i like. i almost didn’t go last night as i was caught up in things and not feeling as good as i would have liked. when we got to the oneness meditation itself, i opened my eyes and it felt like i was looking through a haze as i looked at michael [the oneness meditator] in the front of the room. others later described seeing white light pouring out of his eyes. it was awesome to know that i experienced a bit of that myself, though for me, it was like being able to focus in and out of the haze, or through it, into the physical world. if i would have let go more, i’m sure i could have focused out of the perception of the physical plane and completely into the white light itself. i’m so grateful i decided to allow myself to experience this. in the past sometimes i wouldn’t always invoke the divine as much as i could or really be too focused on the process itself. i suppose i thought that just sitting there i could absorb it and experience it, which i’m sure i did, though it was much more powerful when i deliberately decided to powerfully invoke the divine and ask for god realization. when looking at michael, in and out of the haze, i could see the divine flowing through him. it was awesome to be sitting there, in the moment, staring into and feeling the divine through the oneness meditation. i felt a sense of fearlessness during the process. in the presence of god, all things are possible, and fears disappear. i had a sense of knowing that these little petty things i’ve been worried about really don’t matter at all. the worries and fears of the ego are irrelevant to what really matters. in knowing and feeling this, i felt like i could make so many changes in my life effortlessly. all these things really are a matter of how we’re perceiving them. when we change our perceptions, our realities can change so easily.
none of what i used to think matters really matters at all
i used to think all these little things mattered. all these little things that one did to make oneself stand out from the crowd and appear to be better than the normal. it was all in the mind. it was all the ego’s desires to make itself feel important. as such with all of these little things that one might worry about, and what one is afraid of. none of those fears matter at all. it’s all part of the ego’s game to stay separate from others. part of the ego’s game to continue itself. it’s all a game with the ego. the competition aspect of humanity truly has gone out of control. from wars to hate to prejudice and judgment in general. the ego must die. it is time. i see it happening. but it is really time for it to release fully. and dissolve into the universe. so we can awaken to our true nature.
all that matters is love.
i’ve experienced this when in love or feeling a deep connection or bond with another. that’s been part of my longing for a companion. and also a similar longing for having a community of like-minded individuals. it’s all because i know that connection is there. and i can feel it there. yes, these are ways to experience it. though one can also experience love for one’s self. love for the higher self. love for the world, for the experience of life itself.
i often find myself rambling on about all these things. these things that matter so much in the moment and yet the next moment they dissolve into the universe and collective consciousness. part of me longs to record these in writing, photographs, video, audio recordings, whatever the medium might be. but the aspect of capturing it does not really matter.
life is fleeting.
in one moment it is there. and in the next it disappears. it can really happen that quickly. from the greater perspective, one will see that one is merely a blink in eternity. a tiny blip on the radar. there one moment. gone a few seconds later.
yes, attachments are what cause all of the pain and suffering. all of the longing. one wants to hold onto something that was so beautiful one moment. or one longs to have something one does not have in the moment. one thinks this thing or experience or feeling or person or whatever it might be one is longing for is what will save one from one’s self. essentially. that is the case. one is afraid of one’s own self in the moment. and then one seeks these external pleasures or conveniences or escapes or whatever in order to satisfy this longing. but this longing never is satisfied. this longing is really a resistance. this resistance is what causes the pain.
if one lived truly in the moment without any attachment to outcome or judgment about what was happening or what one wanted, one would experience bliss. one would be free. freedom is in the release of all of these things. not really the release of anything, but the realization that there never was anything to begin with. only this experience. that is passing by in these moments of reality that we experience as life.
yet none of this is real.
it’s all an illusion. it all stems from the inner world. the outer world is a reflection of the inner world. when one changes what one feels and perceives within, what one experiences and finds in the external world will all change instantly. it truly is that magical. it’s not really magical. but rather, its how this dream we call reality works. for none of it is real. it may seem real because we become attached to it and hold on to it. yet it need not be. let life flow whisply and freely, and attachments will not form. let go of the need to control it. it all is meant to flow. trying to stop that flow prevents you from fully experiencing what is here.
control is a struggle.
when one tries to stop what one is feeling or resists it, by trying to control or change what is happening, one merely hurts one’s self. there is nothing that can truly be controlled. not at the human level. it is all in divine order. the higher part of ourselves is what embraces these experiences and allows them to occur. it’s all in divine order. the higher part of ourself is connected to everything and is where everything originates from. it knows exactly what one needs and what one desired to experience and is delivering that to one.
one chose this all.
at some point in what may seem to be eternity, one chose these experiences. one believed this would be enjoyable or a good lesson or for whatever reason one chose, which is likely beyond reason, as all of this happens in a world beyond reason. yet, nevertheless, one chose these experiences at some level. embrace them. truly feel what is happening. without any resistance. they will pass. those one enjoys as well as those experiences one doesn’t like so much. all will pass. do not resist what you don’t like. don’t try to hold onto what you do like. observe an experience it all as it is.
become authentic with what you are feeling. really look at this. look at what you are experiencing. look at and feel and observe and be present with everything you are feeling internally. processing these feelings is a path to freedom. as you fully embrace them and become authentic and accepting of absolutely everything you are feeling, you can easily let them go. letting them go frees you. it frees you for whatever the next experience may be. it stops the re-occurence of patterns in one’s life that one might not be so fond of. one is healed at a deeper level internally and one is free. trying to change and fix it in the external world is not the answer. remember, that is the reflection of the internal world. if these things keep showing up repeatedly in the external world, then something is still there in the internal world that is causing these to occur. when you discover this and fully embrace it without any resistance, no matter how painful it might seem in that moment, you will free yourself.
the part about being authentic is in taking ownership for what is there. do not judge it. don’t tell yourself you shouldn’t be feeling this or doing these things or whatnot. become authentic and become okay with what you are feeling, no matter what it is. it could be the worst feeling in the world. it could be something against yourself or others in the world. whatever it is, its okay to feel it. fully embrace the feeling, knowing its okay, and then as you feel it and process it, it will dissolve. then you are free of all the circumstances that might have shown up because of that feeling.
it’s all about freedom. being free, a free spirit, without attachment to what you think or others think you should be doing. embrace your freedom. embrace your purpose of life. your purpose will flow through you effortlessly when you are free. do not judge or compare yourself to others. you are here for your own purpose. when you are free of what is holding you back, and you feel in tune with the world, you are going to live that purpose. you will radiate it and inspire others to free themselves and live their own purposes. do not try to control your purpose. let it flow through you. getting attached to it and trying to control it and hold onto it only gets you stuck further back in the process. allow your purpose to expand in its own direction. it will take you for a ride. all you must do is observe it. feel it, embrace it, love it. your life is amazing when you do. you will experience bliss just living each day.
in embracing freedom, your awareness will expand. you will begin to notice what you used to think of as coincidences showing up in your life everyday. you will see the connect to everything and everyone. this may be subtle at first, but you will begin to notice hints of this. your past experiences will all begin to make sense at some level. as you will see that every little thing that happened in your life had to happen exactly as it did in order for you to get to where you are now. this will expand and you will begin to realize these connections very often. in every encounter you have with another, you will begin to notice a higher message or higher purpose. you will begin to see everyone as a teacher in your life. yet the true teacher is the one within that is creating these experiences in the external world for you to embrace. with this higher awareness, you will effortlessly be guided through life. your intuition will become a greater part of what you experience. it will become crystal clear. you will trust it with ease and it will guide you in your everyday experiences.
this is the path to god realization
yet it is only the beginning. so much more will unfold as you make the decision to step onto this path. this is a journey one has chosen. many mystical and magical things may occur on this journey. be prepared for anything yet expect nothing. it will all unfold on its own. everything is happening on its own doing. one will begin to feel the connectedness of it all and have a deeper understanding of it all. it will be beyond what words can comprehend or describe. the mind will be put on the back burner and then the burner turned off. no energy will be expelled on the mind eventually. one will completely merge with everything and become a part of it all. it will be the most amazing experience one will experience. yet it is not really an experience. it may seem to be one as the mind might try to describe it. yet it will be so much more profound. it won’t be an act of talking or thinking or philosophizing about god. it will be knowing god. by direct experience.
i won’t elaborate too much more at this moment. i’ve begun to slip too much back into the mind in this last part. the mind questions it as it does not understand it fully and then it gets in the way. the above/middle paragraphs flowed more smoothly as i’ve had more experience with those. yet when the mind is still there, it seems it cannot completely know god. i’ve had glimpses of it and have experienced it in the past though part of me still resists embracing it fully. which is why i have the doubts or begin to stumble when the words flow through me. i stop to analyze it and that stops the flow. i should read what i wrote above about how to handle that!
this path can happen very quickly. all it takes is a strong decision/intention to embrace it fully and it will happen. last night i chose to embark [yet once again as it seems i have done so in the past] on the path to god realization. i was feeling all the things that were not working in my life as i wanted them to. they were all there, sitting there, taking up space. i’ve been letting them go in the physical world. my attachments have been diminishing lately, as i’ve seen them not working for me. they work to a degree but they aren’t really what i’m looking for. there’s a deeper purpose i seek. the little things really don’t matter. even things such as writing this and publishing it don’t matter. yes, i’ll throw it on my journal. but i don’t really need to go posting it everywhere and paying attention to if anyone reads it or not. its out there. if someone else is meant to see it as it will inspire them, they will discover it. that’s the same approach i’m beginning to realize for my photography. i’ve done all these things with it and it has been fun [and frustrating] to create new techniques and explore them and be able to do so much with it. yet what does it truly matter? what really matters is love. when i love doing it, great. though when i feel i have to do it for other reasons or struggle with it, then i ought to stop and really look at if this is the direction i am meant to go in. at the same time, i do see an element of perserverence to achieve a goal and the feelings associated with those. yet overall, the most important thing is to let go. to simplify. and to embrace what is. to love fully, without attachment to outcome. to enjoy life and this experience. creativity is a flow and yet while the technical may have a certain degree of necessity, it shouldn’t become a limiting factor by becoming too important.
so this comes back to my own authenticity. as i explore all these things. as i see what the ego was really doing. how the mind was getting in the way of the creative flow. how it was making itself too important and wanting to control outcome and became too attached. none of that matters. the other day when i walked for a few miles on the beach, it felt really amazing to feel free. when walking to the northernmost tip of honeymoon island, i’d usually be stopping to photograph in some means or another. the time before this last one, i had my kite attached to me to photograph a 360×180 degree time-lapse from the air. while the mind sees this as a unique feat and accomplishment and it can inspire others, is this really what i need to be doing? and it was quite a workout walking against the blowing winds that were blowing near or above 20mph if i recall. this last time, i wore a camera to shoot a time-lapse. it was more freeing not to have to stop and photograph as it was creating the images and all i had to do was walk. yet i was still thinking too much about the walk and paying attention to try not to get too close to other people and walk at a different pace than them so the images would mostly be about walking on the beach. when i was near the tip and in a quiet spot by myself, it felt like time slowed down. perhaps it was from the workout and my old shoe rubbing against and cutting my foot, and the acceptance of it. though it seems it was just from being free of the attachement to the desire to create this image. a good part of it was likely being out in the middle of nature on a beautiful island and the freedom found in the temporary relief of life’s little worries. however i look at this, it was all found from a shift of perspective. a release of the mind.
freedom from the mind is the greatest freedom one can experience
there is nothing more liberating than being free from one’s own mind. it truly is bliss. cultivating a quiet mind is the healthiest thing one can do for one’s self. just let go. anything that comes up that the mind gets stuck on. let it go. have a look at all of the games the ego/mind plays. is it really worth winning these games for the stress and anguish it causes? having to have anything a certain way, having to win an argument, a deal, whatever it is, having to obtain any material thing or even experience, any type of control of having to have something a certain way is not worth the pain that it creates. even after you have it and feel you can relax, the mind very quickly wants more to satisfy itself yet once again. let it all go. step outside of it. watch it and begin to give less and less attention. it will fade.
being out of one’s mind is the greatest service one can do for others
when one is free of the mind, one no longer tries to control or manipulate others or a situation for one’s own benefit. one no longer finds the need to argue. one no longer allows one’s own perceptions and emotions to get in the way of a relationship or any kind of encounter with another. being free, one can live fully in the present and provide the space that inspires others to do the same. not being drained by the ego/mind, one’s energy will be high and others will feel this in one’s presence. having an abudance of energy, one can easily serve others in a manner that is effortless for one to do yet others might not have been able to do so on their own from their own perspectives. all of life flows with ease when one is free. one will naturally feel the connection and inclination to be kind and helpful to others when one is free of the mind. the world will be completely at peace when enough of us are free of the ego/mind. a new world, more brilliant than anyone could have ever imagined through the limitations of the mind, will emerge. all of life will be blissful and effortlessly flourish.
[funny to see the repeating numbers as i go to post this on my website and see that there are currently 10110 posts and this will make #10111]