2003 October

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the failing truth lies within the grasps of my lost dreams chasmed away in an untouchable place not even i can determine the reason why do i even care will this set me free from damnation what will stop the voices why can’t i see one day i was able to see i remember though my memories have faded and my life is a lie and the truth is broken i cannot live without you save me from the anguish i can’t take it anymore why must i do this why did it happen why did you give up the dream was once a truth but now cannot be saved for soon i feel the damnation will become permanent once again the state is always altered i can’t bear to watch this self-decay of what once was a beautiful truth i cannot become the past another time around is all that is imminent under black skies the storm becomes within my inner voice the one that won’t stop will my actions ever change will the truth never fail my eye is none of the above but without a lens to actualization i can no longer think to create or do so without thought for the pain is ever growing in deep realization of the unwanted actualized truth i have been forced to live dismayed without all forgoing hopes that once were reality but the dream died recently and i can no longer breathe without the hope i regret the failure perhaps the hope as well where did it all go wrong why did it all fall apart can no one stop the voices from haunting me once again i know they will come one day and i will be forced to let go i won’t be able to stop them on my own they will take over another time another day another dream will die again and over again it is a cycle that can not be completed nor fail there is no hope for it to be over it won’t ever be the day i die it will still be reoccurring i am damned for all eternity four mere words did it i didn’t mean the words i didn’t want this to be the truth it is the saddest reality i can know for once i had known so much more but that one time died it seems so far away yet it is so recent time is no longer a valid entity in my presence my mind my dream is timeless it can never die nor can it live once again tell me i need to know i can’t go on when will it cease why do i do this to myself can i regret it all and go back in time and change what once was and make it what will be will this ever escalate or will it become much worse where is the keeper of the book of answers where do i find one that can provide a solution is the key forever lost in the currents beyond my furthest grasps will i know no other truth its about me everything everywhere now then what will be what can never be it is the answer yet the lie and the inspiration at the same time it doesn’t make sense it can’t make sense i know no sense this is the truth damned in the silence i witness the dream is over but can it be reborn is there a time that will lend a hint of spirit within the dimension i lack yet the one i inspire to be but alas misery can bring comfort the misery at the moment is your best friend its the one there you hate to know but so desire to seek but the curiosity overcomes the reality causing the pyschological clash within the dream you know is real yet hate to admit and can do nothing but desire and one day hope to wake up from the nightmare and realize it was only a dream gone wild in your head but if i live it all inside my head how can i escape to a place i’ve never been to and can no longer imagine what it might be like all i can see is the oblivion why is it that hatred can last a lifetime and love can die so easily though is it when one fails to give another a chance a hatred the other is the failure too grand to allow for another yet when it was equally the other involved does one forego responsibility in assigning the other the task of facing the oblivion alone can there be no one there to guide me along the way i’ve been down it seems so many times before can there not be a companion to lend the way through is the once united journey completely over for all eternity it must stand i know i will somehow come to terms with the demons and bear the truth and live this damned reality through as far as it goes but the point of collision with one’s self can no longer be denied until so many voices fill the thought pattern to a point of incoherence at this point the vast emptiness slowly begins to set in as i arrive at the conclusion of the void being the destiny i must live with the journey must commence on new seas of opportunity to set sail to the grand voyage of the damnation i will face in order to overcome the lie within i am faced with the truth i must ignore the dream for it is no longer the plausibility i once held close to what i was able to experience in sight a once almost continual flow of thoughts now gone just like the dream

beyond the greatest sea..it stretches more vast than the expanse of galaxies she brought warmth to even the coldest of days united we could conquer anything it seemed from the first day that i felt that special warmth i knew this was it if only i could go back in time my longing for the past would be cured i’d relive those happy months over and over for all eternity could they not stretch and expand i want to fix […]