Florida » Palm Harbor

the greatest gift one can give to the world is one’s own inner transformation.

[this may seem a bit selfish at first, until one realizes what this truly means and how this experience of life/reality works]

while it’s beautiful to see new human achievements and the unfolding of technology, remember what truly matters in life are heartfelt experiences and connections with others + the planet.

here are some more thoughts coming to me recently. i was going to save these for instagram captions as well, but am first trying to figure out a way to clear out my old posts on there without doing them one at a time or relying on a third-party app or deleting the whole account.. i may just end up keeping most of the images on there for now, though as it still might be a while before i actually post and more writing keeps coming, am sharing these below…like what i posted a little over a week ago, these are also unedited:

remember to take a break, relax, and always be present. doing so you can hear, see, and feel the presence of the divine anywhere and everywhere. this especially important when caught in the midst of all the seemingly endless distractions of the modern world.

learn to see god in everyone and everything

creativity is simple. it’s actually a form of meditation in a sense. all one must do is relax and be still and listen. the words or ideas arise out of the silence. if you’re unable to relax or quiet the mind, then begin by feeling whatever may be there (and, if necessary, learn how to dive into the unconscious emotions and blocks and experience those). once whatever blocks are felt and healed you’ll find peace and bliss and from this place, can hear and feel the inspiration.

the choice not to suffer is yours: either choose to change some aspect of your life, or choose to feel whatever it is you may be resisting internally.

it seems, these days, that so many people are obsessed with the character they are playing in life. as one learns to let go of identification with this character and simply watch the movie we call life, one will discover a great sense of peace (and will be able to see that neither the character nor the movie are real).

one thing i like about meeting someone new is learning about their experience of life and their perception of the world, and being able to understand the world through their perspectives. in being able to see and feel the world through another’s eyes we gain a greater sense of awareness. the more viewpoints we can accept and appreciate, the more whole we become. in a sense, this is the path of surrender. rather than looking at what you can gain in a relationship or friendship, look at what aspects of yourself will you no longer need to assert through greater clarity and an opened heart.

rather than looking for what else you can do or get today, ask yourself, what else can i let go of? can i find a deeper sense of peace simply being where i am?

ask yourself each day, what aspect of my self do i no longer need that i can now let go of?

pick one of the things, aspects, or experiences in life you think you need, and see how long you can live without it. after letting it go for a while, pick another aspect of your life that you think is important and let that go. the more of these must-haves and self-defining aspects that you can truly surrender, the greater sense of peace you will discover.

go to nature and see how effortlessly everything exists together. you too can live simply, without the suffering caused by the desires and attachments of the ego/mind.

always remember, everything is in perfect divine order as it is. learn to see the divine beauty in everyone and everything, and you will discover how much of a miracle the whole experience of life is.

sometimes a quiet drive through the country (or local rural parts) is all one needs to feel better. the lower density and more natural surroundings alone are healing.

always remember that there is nothing outside of you. all of physical reality, any alternate dimensions or realities or universes, the angels, dreams, thoughts, spirit beings, ancestors, other people, the mind, the adversary, everything that exists and that is manifest in some way, whether seen or unseen, is all a part of the unmanifest source that you truly are.

see God in everyone and everything

you are everyone and everything

you are the universe, and the universe is in you

it seems that so much of social media is tied to identity. in one sense it’s interesting to look at, as one is effectively creating one’s online identity through the virtual online world (which is a metaphor for how we create our own lives in the physical world/reality). however it’s also quite problematic when one gets too attached to their identity (both the ‘real’ one and the one they created for themselves) or when others see one solely through an identity that’s not even real. i recall many years ago seeing how others wouldn’t understand me.. i see how this is tied to what i’m describing here in identity. others are unable to understand another because they are perceiving through the limitations of the mind which is remembering and identifying another by what it thought happened in the past (or by what it thought just happened in the present moment through its limited filters of perception), rather than feeling who the person really is (and what is being expressed in the moment) from the heart.

besides being more fun to drive and much nicer to be able to charge at home (and never go to a gas station), electric cars are so much better on maintenance. i just did both the 2 and 3 year ‘maintenance’ on my car, which was really just a multi-point inspection (that was free at the dealer). it only cost me $21.35 to rotate the tires. unless something doesn’t pass inspection (which will pretty much just be whenever the tires wear down, as brakes are used much less in an EV and most of the mechanical systems don’t exist), the only other recommended service isn’t until 100,000 miles or 10 years (to flush/replace the electronics/battery thermal cooling system). along with inexpensive insurance and an electric cost here of about 2.5 cents per mile for my car, its definitely better than an internal combustion engine vehicle.

you may cry watching this, though it’s beautiful to see how faith can be found and kept, even through tragedy: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLf9Hoz2ab4

on a personal note, it’s interesting to see how i’ve run into a couple similar underlying messages recently. one thing said in this video (or in another video that her sister shared) was related to knowing how everything is in perfect divine order and not to be mad at (or judge) God for what has happened, and to be grateful for the time and experience we were blessed with. almost three weeks ago i ran into someone who shared messages from the bible but they were from a viewpoint of awakening (which i had not typically seen or heard), and one thing he shared was a similar message about not judging this world or our experiences here. it’s been interesting to see these messages as one of my recent challenges has been seeing so much judgment, criticism, complaining, etc from my close family and i think experiencing this (or not wanting to be around this) caused the health issues i had the last couple years. another interesting aspect of these experiences is that i was forced to go to church and Catholic school when i grew up, and i think shortly after graduating i stopped going to church and lost interest in religion (which partly may have been related more to my own childhood hurts rather than religion itself). around a decade later i began to find interest in spirituality through other forms. and along the way to that point i was exploring other viewpoints and perspectives without even knowing it or being deliberately on a spiritual path. since abandoning religion i hadn’t really looked at or been interested in anything at all related to it (and subtly resisted it and saw aspects of religion, such as indoctrination, as getting in the way of being able to directly experience and know God). a few weeks ago my best friend from high school’s father passed away, and while sad, it was beautiful to see the love and faith that his family had. i think i’m beginning to let go of judgment of religion and allow it to be as it is. many of us may have turned away from religion or other things in our past that did not serve us at the time, though if these aspects of life help others find love, peace, faith, hope, understanding, or learn or grow in some way, there is value in them. and from a higher viewpoint, everything is already in perfect divine order, even the parts of life we don’t like or understand. perhaps by simply accepting these aspects of life that we don’t like (or resist) we can grow, transform, and awaken. from perspectives such as oneness or enlightenment, all things are connected and are a manifestation of the one consciousness or being that we all are.. and if we aren’t fully accepting or loving a part of ourself, we cannot truly be whole.

…i had some more insights but they escaped me.. they came to me as i was waking up though the body wasn’t quite awake. it’s a dilemma i’ve experienced many a times.. the inspirational message would come to me but i or the body is not fully awake yet and in order to keep tuning into the message i need to stay with the message, and if i come back to the body and get out of bed and to the computer (which is only a couple feet away now), by the time i type in my password and get to somewhere i can type (if i’m not distracted by whatever was previously on the screen), the message is lost. it’s really lost just by the time i get fully back to the physical world.. as it seems it doesn’t exist fully, or there’s too much distraction, whether it be noise or stuff on the screen or clutter in the room or whatnot. i feel this is also related to my photography.. where i’ve had the desire to capture some brilliant moments or experiences of being somewhere but the act of getting the camera out affects the moment, or it’s just not the same if i quickly snap a photo and look at it later.. perhaps its the time it takes to really create a great image affecting the experience. or even in just the time to stop the car and get out and compose a good image, the moment is lost, or there’s something else i’m feeling.. i think its just that i wouldn’t ever get anywhere if i were to stop every single time there was a beautiful moment. and sometimes there aren’t places to easily stop if its a narrow road or if others are on the road. this is what led me to the idea of time-lapses while driving or walking or biking or wherever i was.. to have a camera always capturing the world around me so i could go about exploring and experiencing and not be distracted by the act of photographing the experience. anyhow, i digress.. it’s interesting to see all the rambling unfolding this morning. i didn’t plan on this but just sat down to try to type the words that are now lost, thinking perhaps they will come to me, and they tend to come back to some degree.. i just have to let go and forget about it all. in this act of surrender and not caring whether i remember them or not, they or something else, related, perhaps even better, can flow through. and if it doesn’t, it won’t really matter as i’m no longer attached to the need or desire for them to flow through.. and from this place, likely they will come again if they were important or unresolved or whatnot. and if the don’t come back because they were resolved, then at a higher level the work is already done, and the lesser need to share it is unimportant. perhaps at times the most brilliant insights and experiences are left for one alone to experience. it is nice to be able to share them and create some sort of writing or art or whatnot to lend this insightful experience to others, though it’s not always necessary. everyone will find their own way at some point. yes the external representations and insights can help point the way, though there is no need to be attached to the need to create these. if they are meant to be created, they will be created. and there are also others whom probably can share somewhat similar viewpoints.. while they may not be the same as they won’t have the underlying basis of all the experiences and viewpoints one may have, they will lend other helpful perspectives. this is why so many of us are here right now, to lend these perspectives of this experience of life, of awakening, of being from a new place to so many. sometimes the simply being present and following one’s heart is all one needs. often, actually, or always. there is not much else to really do or think one must do. follow your heart and you’ll discover and experience all you need. it doesn’t really matter what it looks like either. there comes a time to let go of chasing after all the external teachings, reflections, manifestations, and representations. for they get in the way of listening to the true message that is coming from within. all that the external messages really do is remind you to look internally. if one were to study and look at all of these messages, one would see this common ground. while it may be interesting to do so, it’s not necessary (and can get in the way of actually experiencing). just look within. that’s all we’ve been saying. that’s all we’ve been pointing to. the experience is greater than the thought. the beingness is greater than the doingness. peace is greater than anything else. simply be. be peace. be love. be you. be one. be all. be.

[funny to read back over this and see how this reminds me of writings that would flow through me many years ago.. funny to think how perhaps then i was on this journey or at this place, without even knowing it.. it was always there, it just simply had to be recognized and more deeply realized]

this is one of the most brilliant audio programs i’ve heard in a long time. it’s spot on in what’s happening in this experience we call life. i haven’t read his book nor done the process he’s describing after the beginning, though it reminds me of other very powerful transformational work i did years ago. i’d highly recommend checking it out.. he describes and explains whats happening through awareness, the bodies, healing, emotionally, etc, etc.. basically how life works and how to navigate it and the subtleties / details of whats happening (but described clearly and concisely without any religious dogma or spiritual / new age lingo). [a friend sent this to me some months ago and i just finally got around to giving it a listen last night, though it seems to be all in perfect divine timing now with what i’m going through in life. its funny too to see repeating numbers on the youtube page.. when i was played it, it had 72772 views, 72 comments, and 711 likes.] even if you don’t do any breathe work, meditation, or processing, its great to have a better understanding of how our experiences in life form. here’s part 1:

here’s part 2:

happy earth day! 🌎

have a look today at what you can do to help mother earth. as we sit and look at all areas of our life and realize how and where we can improve our habits, we’ll see there really is so much we can do in many aspects of life to help reduce waste and consumption. every little bit counts and helps.. even by just becoming a little more conscious of what’s involved in making the products you purchase will help you choose alternatives that are more environmentally friendly. taking care of our planet is one of the most important things we can collectively do. we have a lot to be grateful for.. our planet is our home and provides everything we need for this experience we call life. reducing our consumption and avoiding purchasing things that are destructive to the planet is a way of saying thanks to mother earth for all she provides. i’m grateful to see that many more people are becoming more conscious of what humanity has done to the planet. the more of us that become aware and change our habits, the quicker we’ll help the planet heal and the quicker we’ll prevent any further destruction caused by man.

i recently purchased an electric car and am grateful to never have to go to a gas station again. besides stopping support of the oil and fossil fuel industries, this also allows me to go on more adventures exploring various parts of the area here and not feel bad that i’m wasting gas or furthering pollution. today i went on a zero emissions adventure driving to some areas i hadn’t been to in a while and some that i haven’t ever been to. it’s nice to see what little things we can discover along the way just by taking a new route that may be not too far from where we normally go. one of the great financial benefits to an electric vehicle is that its practically free to drive more. there’s practically no maintenance required and electric motors are way more efficient than internal combustion engines. the car i got has done great on efficiency. i drove slow and conservatively on my driving adventures today and yesterday, and averaged right about 6 miles per kilowatt-hour [i was a bit surprised as about 1/4 of today’s journey included some time on the highway at 50mph, with around 1/3 of the trip at 45mph and the rest was slower local driving]. 6 mi/kWh is just over 200 MPGe (which is not the best unit of measurement for an EV but helpful in understanding an equivalent in terms people are used to). my overall average since i got the car earlier this month has been 5.5 mi/kWh and i’ve driven just under 760 miles so far (which is more than i typically would drive in the short time i’ve had it, though i’m making up for not having driven much at all earlier this year before + after selling my van). 5.5 mi/kWh is around 185 MPGe.. that’s pretty good for a car that’s rated for a combined 112 MPGe! anyhow, i’ve started to get a bit lost in the numbers and data.. looking at what this actually means, with electricity costing $0.11 per kWh, is 2 cents per mile! (a small fraction of what it’d cost per mile in the van i had or in any gas vehicle) electric vehicles are the future for many reasons. if you are in need of a vehicle, i’d highly recommend getting one that’s electric. pre-owned EV’s, especially low range ones with small battery packs, have some really great prices compared to new ones, and, as i’m seeing, with conservative driving habits one is able to get over 100 miles on a charge. another great thing about a small car is that the turning radius is quite tight.. on most 2 lane roads i’d be able to turn around with a 2 point turn rather than a 3 point turn. (and the car is small enough that i’d be able to carry it inside a tiny home if i built one with an open space in the back)

anyhow, i got a bit lost in the technical details there. there are a lot of other things one can do to change one’s habits too.. if you live in a city or somewhere that you can bicycle, commuting on a bike would be better than driving (even if just some time). reducing or eliminating consumption of meat and animal products would be a great help to the environment. recycling, composting, not purchasing products with wasteful packaging, not purchasing disposable products, etc would all be a great help too. becoming a minimalist in some, many, or all areas of life would be a great help. keeping digital records and not printing emails, receipts, etc would be a great help. not running the air conditioning or heat as much would be a great help. there are so many little things we can do and alternative methods we can use in our everyday life that all add up to make a huge impact on the environment. even if we each just make one simple change every day, week, or month it would make a difference.


..it seems as though, in this world, consciousness creates the illusion of a problem in order to have the experience of transcending it


stillness is not different from silence, is not different from contentment, is not different from joy


This Is Immediate Sadhana — As You See, So You Are Free

i’m selling my Ford Transit with Premium Van Package, many/most options, and lightweight Camper Conversion build. to see a full tour video and read lots of details on why i custom ordered + chose this van (after having a truck camper), visit:




please share with anyone who may be interested. it’s located in Florida, though i’m willing to drive it to you if you can’t come down here to get it. to purchase the van, please write me at:

see all photos, videos, and writing / details about van here: markmarano.com/what/van/

UPDATE: i sold the empty van. the whole build structure is available for sale, or i can sell parts separately like the water pump, water tank, rv-type filling hatch, sink + countertop, shelf, storage cabinet, bath tub with slats (that can hold compost toilet), curtains, hanging closet, etc. i’ve already sold the refrigerator and compost toilet.

During a morning walk in Monte Sahaja the question is asked of Moojibaba: “what does it mean to be egoless?” Moojibaba responds: it means LIFE.

In this life-changing and definitive talk Moojibaba explains that what it truly means to be egoless is to transcend the ego and move into the vibration of the God-field. To be without ego is the most powerful thing in the whole world. The one who abandons the ego and plunges fully into the God ocean—this one rises up and becomes a guide in the world.



it’s beautiful when things begin to flow effortlessly on their own. this comes from learning to surrender and trust. i’ve seen as the more i let go (of control), the more i am allowing the divine to take over and flow into and through my life. today i renewed my driver’s license and registration (i decided to go today as it’s ‘pi’ day and i thought it’d be fun as it would be printed on my license as the renewal date). i received a card in the mail saying i needed to go in person this time to renew. i had a some thoughts about being uncertain if they’d make me do an eye exam and if i’d have any issues as i haven’t been to the eye doctor in a long time (i had lasik surgery back in 2005 and went for a check-up sometime shortly after that but not anytime recently). i can see fine though i’ve spent a lot of time in front of the computer screen these past weeks/months and was wondering if that would have affected my vision. i also feel like, on this spiritual journey, as i tune into higher energies/frequencies/etc that sometimes my vision of the physical plane may not be as crisp, and was possibly a little concerned about that affecting my ability to see normally. when i got to the county or state office to renew my license, the person who walked in before me had made an appointment to renew her license, and the thought crossed my mind that there might be a long wait and that i hadn’t thought of seeing if i could schedule a time online (though the thought did come to me earlier today or yesterday to call to see how long the wait times were and if i could begin my wait time when i called, but i didn’t do so). i didn’t worry too much after i got my number and sat down in the waiting area, and saw there weren’t too many numbers ahead of me per the computer screen. i did feel a bit nervous and wasn’t sure why. perhaps it was due to my concern about my eyes, though i wasn’t actually feeling nervous about it when i previously thought of it. it could have been that i was feeling someone else’s emotions being there in the waiting area or something else. while waiting, i quietly invoked the divine and sent blessings to anyone in the building or who had ever been or will ever be there. i also did a little bit of breathe awareness meditation with my eyes closed while waiting (to try to help me relax and stop the nervousness). my number came after a short wait, and i walked around the corner to the booth i was called to, to see many more waiting seats in a larger area that i thought would’ve been a better spot. when i told the guy at the booth that i needed to renew my license, he began the process and said that i needed to do a vision test. i looked into the device to read the line he told me to read and i read it without any issues. i could see the mind almost doubting a couple of the letters that could’ve appeared to be something else if i looked too quickly, though i passed fine. another thing that was a bit funny was that i had decided to wear a white shirt as my old license had a blue background color behind my photo, and this background ended up being wight. it was funny as i had had the thought cross my mind of what if it was a white background they were now using and i just appeared to be a floating head on my license. it does appear like that a little bit but with the design of the new licenses, its not so bad, and its nice to feel like there’s a white glow of good energy around me. i also had a bit of a concern that perhaps they were going to ask me to pay extra to renew the registration on my van as the pricing on the paperwork they had mailed to me didn’t seem to match any of the numbers i had seen online, though again there wasn’t any issue and i’m pretty sure the amount he told me was what it had said on the form i received in the mail. when i was there with the guy, he made a comment about it being so quiet today, saying that normally all the seats on that side are filled (and they were pretty empty) and there are screaming kids running around. perhaps the divine presence had filled the space when i called it forth while there. or simply meditating created this peace, or the peace just simply follows me wherever i go as i’m usually pretty peaceful. also, earlier in the day i had set an intention / asked the divine / manifested the experience of the renewal going smoothly with no issue and not a long wait. it seems that the universe / divine had created this reality for me, despite whatever nervousness i was briefly feeling while waiting.

i suppose sometimes when i’m not paying attention to consciously creating this experience of reality, i forget that its still occurring or that i can do so. a couple or few days ago i was looking at some old files on my hard drive, working on purging things and files i didn’t need, and i came upon some signs of how i’ve been creating this reality and signs of how i had a good bit of awareness, even some 20+ years ago, before i had any conscious interest or idea of being on a spiritual path. it was also nice to be able to remember how i used to flow in different times of my life in the past, and how i was happy simply being me and connecting with another. and, a little bit to my surprise or intrigue, i saw how an actual file i remembered saying one thing now read to say something else, and i hadn’t changed it or opened it since early 2010 when i had run a numerology software program to generate the file with the report.. around that time i was becoming more aware and interested in spiritual growth, and though i had just had an experience of oneness (of seeing and feeling others as being parts of myself) shortly before generating the numerology report, i didn’t truly experience much more release, healing, growth, awakening, transformation, shifts in perspective, etc until later that year when i attended the avatar course.. so it makes sense that with the growth i went through after the file was generated, that it’d be possible for the reality it described to change, though i didn’t realize that it would mean the actual file changing.. i was thinking that i’d have to have forgotten what it actually said (and not been attached to that reality) for it to be able to change. however, in this case, i remembered what it previously said, and it still changed (it was pretty significant and made sense what it said, so i’m pretty certain it actually read differently and its not that i just remembered it being different or misinterpreted what it meant). perhaps this is what others describe as the mandela effect. i suppose with the transformation i had gone through years ago, i could’ve stepped into a different timeline or reality, and i’m remembering what occurred in the previous timeline or reality i was in. either that, or time really isn’t what we think of it (as i’ve heard others allude to). some speak of all time occurring at once, and perhaps i’m beginning to be able to experience multiple moments in time as well as multiple varieties/dimensions/timelines of time at the same time. or perhaps i’m simply breaking free of the limitations of time, as time, or our perception of it, seems to be a human creation. it seems that as we surrender and release attachments, especially those in the physical, emotional, and mental planes, we free up our ability to experience the higher realms of consciousness and reality, as well as have more energy available to create this experience of reality. this all makes sense, and i’ve experienced this before in different ways, and i’m grateful for the journey i’m on. it was a bit of a roller coaster in recent months, especially with the health challenges i faced, though i’m glad i’ve made it through and am continuing to grow and expand in new directions. it’s exciting to be alive and to flow with life!

back to the story.. after i left the county or state office and was walking back to my van in the parking lot, i felt a subtle sense of peace. it was good to have taken care of it, and had one less thing to think about doing. the more we release in different ways, either by taking care of things or letting go our attachment to needing to do things or whatnot, we free our energy, and are then able to be more present and experience the beauty of reality and life much more naturally. i stopped at the grocery store on the way home, and at first when i pulled into the parking lot, i wasn’t seeing a lot of open spaces in the area where i typically park, and as i kept going forward i saw something right at the end of an adjoining aisle/lane, and was easily able to pull into it. at the store, things flowed nicely, and i was able to briefly connect with the cashier whom i shared i was going to a meditation when she asked if i had any plans for the evening. i felt fine telling her that and asking her if she ever meditated and then telling her about the meditation at the flowering heart center which she said maybe she’d check out sometime. a lot of times in the past, when i haven’t been experiencing life flowing, when i’ve been in some form of resistance or worry or whatnot, i haven’t been able to connect with others easily nor have i felt okay sharing anything about meditation, higher consciousness, spirituality, etc. i think perhaps its come from experiences i’ve had in the past in trying to share these things with others whom didn’t understand (or perhaps weren’t ready to hear them), though i’m grateful to be able to experience the divine flowing through me in this way. earlier today, my dad was complaining about me being the cause of his negativity (as simple things i did, such as opening up the window blinds a different way than he or my mom do, triggered him to be upset or angry).. i don’t recall exactly what i said though i spoke something about me not being able to cause it, and it being good to let the negativity out (and joked in a sense about me helping him do this) or get rid of the negativity rather than hold it inside. i had thought about saying something more detailed about how he’s triggered by so many things such as lots of other drivers (and how i used to be though i no longer experience those drivers showing up, and if they do, they don’t bother me at all the large majority of the time) but didn’t. i’m not sure if he really understood what i meant or not, though hopefully it helped a part of him begin to realize that he doesn’t need to get upset about so many little things.

it’s nice to allow this all to flow through me. in the recent past, i’ve felt blocked in being able to write or create or whatnot. a lot of times in recent years i was either forcing it or it wasn’t flowing through quite like i had previously known. it all comes down to where we are energetically.. by surrendering and letting go of attachment to outcome, we open ourselves up to allow the divine to flow through us in magnificent ways.

as humanity continues to collectively awaken and our hearts flower, we will see a new world unfold that is very different than the one in which we currently live. our reality will shift to one that is full of peace, love, and harmony. as we realize that all conflict originates in the mind and we become free from the mind, we will no longer feel the urge to live from any lower vibrations of consciousness. anything that was previously arising […]


[i woke up early this morning and was unable to get back to sleep, likely processing and feeling whatever was arising (and resisting not being able to fall back asleep).. as daylight would be breaking soon, i got out of bed, and attempted to write and explore some of the insights that had come to me earlier in the morning.. some inspired by the beautiful one tribe potluck/gathering/satsang last night (and some more random). thank you everyone for being there and for the experience/conversation!]

there is often the desire to capture our experiences. however, the most profound experiences are ones that we surrender to.

rather than chase the desire to capture the experience, learn to surrender to the experience.

the most beautiful moments cannot be described with words nor captured with images or sound. only in the experience of feeling life and being fully present to the moment can we truly live.

none of this really matters, yet it all matters. we chose it at some level when we created this game of life. embrace it all, without attachment.

we gain more by letting go rather than by acquiring. whether this be knowledge, experiences, physical possessions, or anything else in the physical or mental world, learn to surrender the need to have any of it. by letting go of this attachment, we can live more fully in the present moment and experience all the beauty that surrounds us at all times regardless of the circumstances.

each day look at some aspect of yourself that you no longer need and let it go. by dissolving the layers of the self, we grow closer to who we truly are. rather than identify with this body/mind image, we discover more deeply who we really are.

everything in this world and beyond is created, and nothing that is created is real nor who we really are.

who we are is beyond anything that exists at any level in the physical, mental, or spiritual worlds.

we are nothing yet we are everything simultaneously.

as long as we are here in this existence, let’s collectively choose to make it as beautiful as possible. while, from a higher level, none of it is real, we can choose to create a beautiful, loving, harmonious world.

remember to always choose love. while this may be difficult upon seeing things in the world that appear to be wrong, remember that by choosing this higher vibration of love, we can help elevate and transform anything that is not love. [and upon doing so, we may just discover that love was always there, even in the aspects of life where it appeared it was not]

while words may help point the way, they are never a substitute for direct knowing and experience.

god, the universe, self-realization, enlightenment, oneness, unconditional love, and any higher truth one may seek can only be known through the direct experience thereof. while many others may write, speak, or share their perspectives and experiences of truth, any viewpoint outside of the actual direct knowledge can merely point the way.

remember, that most often, the things and experiences we seek in the world are merely distractions to what actually matters.

remember that your story does not matter. while it may be fun, entertaining, or even inspirational to create and experience your character in life through a certain way, remember not to get too lost in the story, for doing so can lead you astray from whom you truly are as the creator of the story. [this is what all the messages about letting go are really about.. remember to peel back the layers of the onion and let go of the masks you may still be wearing. while these identities may serve you in certain moments, wearing them too long will become a hinderance.]

learn to remove the filters you have that may be blocking your light.

like in poetry, writing, or any other verbal expression, words can only ever be metaphors of truth.

even if others do not understand or are nowhere close to understanding, continue to share nuggets of truth. one day, even if after hearing the same truth many times, the other will understand what it was all about.

the greatest experience is realization.

life can be heaven or hell. it’s up to you.

do not seek to emulate others. while it may be inspirational to see what others have done (or you may be able to gain some insights or little aspects related to your own journey), remember to follow your own heart. this is your awakening.

while the destination may be the same for all of us, each of our own individual journeys is unique.

sometimes one may choose to awaken then fall back asleep only to awaken and then fall back asleep again in a different manner. while, according to some, this seems to be how this experience occurs lifetime after lifetime, one might choose to do this over and over within a single lifetime simply for the experience of doing so (and to better understand what others may be going through, and to be able to suggest multiple paths to others).

the mind wants to understand, though to truly know is beyond words, through the experience.

remember life is not about ‘my’ journey or ‘your’ journey, but simply ‘the’ journey itself.

in recent years i learned about universal basic income. i read about it being offered (or tried) in some northern european countries, and, coincidentally (or not), these countries were also ranked as being the happiest on the planet. i do my best not to get caught up in politics, though i’ve recently seen some things online mention universal basic income. i think someone running for president is supporting it, and billionaire + genius Elon Musk supports it. i haven’t looked into what they all think or any details of it, though the concept sounds like a great way to end the suffering + struggle of so many. as automation takes over jobs, it will only make sense as a feasible solution to keep humanity alive. by not having to worry about survival, people won’t have a reason to do desperate things that harm others. with more free time and freedom to do what one feels called to, more people can be creative and do simple things to help another and society. as an artist and creative myself, i easily see this.. there are so many creative projects that could easily flow through me if i didn’t have the burden of things that need to be done simply to exist on the planet. as more of us awaken to who we truly are, we’ll see that there really is no need to compete with another. as more of grow and are healed, we’ll see that there are more than plenty of resources for all of us to live healthily and in harmony with the planet. through our collective transformation, we’ll eventually grow beyond the need for any type of currency or trade. in the meantime, as we shift away from how things have been on the planet and wake up into the new world we are creating, something like universal basic income would be a great solution to provide the funds needed for food, water, shelter, healthcare/wellness, and the other essentials of living well in the modern day (such as communication and transportation).

near the beginning of last year i recall looking up some numbers and seeing out how this could work with the current system of taxes. i don’t have those exact calculations in front of me, though i do recall it being quite feasible to do under a number of scenarios. i’m by no means an expert or knowledgable in the national budget, though quickly looking up the numbers online now, the national income for the united states in 2018 was 20.7 trillion dollars, the federal budget/spending was 3.8 trillion dollars, and the population is 327.2 million people. if the tax rate were simple and equal between all corporations and people, the needed 3.8 trillion over the 20.7 trillion that came in would be 18.3% to cover current spending. if we were to give every person that lived in the country $2000 per month as universal basic income, we’d need an additional 7.85 trillion dollars, bringing the total needed for spending to 11.65 trillion dollars. this would bring up the effective tax rate to 56% but that does not account for the fact that everyone would be receiving $24,000 a year, effectively lowering their taxes. for example, if one earned $50k a year, the 56% would be $28k in taxes but one would get $24k back, so one would really only be paying $4k in taxes, an effective tax rate of 8%, lower than what one would pay in the current tax system. yes, if one earns a lot more, they would pay a much higher percent, but would also receive more in the universal basic income payment if they have children or are sharing funds with a spouse or other family whom doesn’t receive income (or pay taxes on it). this is just a simple example to see that this system could be feasible. essentially those who receive a lot more in income would be helping those who don’t receive as much, and in return would see a much healthier society and planet where humanity is not suffering from poverty, crime, sickness, etc. i can understand how some whom earn a lot might not like to have to pay more, and this is only a simple example.. to lower the tax percent individuals would need to pay, the amount being given as universal income could be different and there could be other factors affecting the amount dispersed such as looking at the size of the household (as with several people and children sharing a home, not as much would be needed per person.. though if the amount dispersed was even per capita, it would encourage sharing resources). there could also be a sliding scale and tax brackets, and it could get complex (though still kept more simple than the current system). another quick example: if we were to change the universal amount given to $1000 per person, then the flat tax rate needed would drop to 37% and someone who earned $100k per year would only pay an effective tax rate of 24% after receiving their $1000 per month in universal income.. and one’s individual tax rate could be even lower if the amount corporations paid were higher since they are not real people. i won’t elaborate further into all the technical details.. there are lots of examples and ways to look at this.. these numbers are simply a proof of concept to see that it could be a feasible solution today (and the statistical numbers i quickly found online may not be accurate).

i would encourage anyone who finds this interesting to research it, conceptualize or visualize the possibility, and share it with others. the more of us that see new ways of thinking (and living), the quicker we can effect change into the world. it seems that this way of subtle (or massive) change is the new growth we will see in the world. there’s only so far the current system of how things work in the world can go. sometimes we just need to let go completely of what is to allow room for what will be to unfold. it can be hard to surrender and let go, but once we do, we’ll be able to embrace the beauty of what is to come. as we transition into a world that is more peaceful, loving, and living in harmony with the planet, the future generations of human beings will look back at the history of what we’re currently living through and wonder how we ever existed like that (similar to how some now can look back to the past or distant past and wonder how people could’ve ever lived like that.. heck, some nowadays wonder how life could’ve existed without smartphones).

here’s a peek [funny at first this was spelled peak, which could also apply] of some messages that were coming to me this morning.. i’ll be using some/most of these (and others) as captions for instagram posts when i create some photographs in the near future..

the trick to awakening is to see the divine perfection radiating through all the chaos of the world.

when one stops striving for perfection, one will be able to find the perfection in what already is.

we can become more whole (and remember who we truly are) by simply accepting and loving more perspectives and aspects of life that we don’t understand (or resist)

sometimes it helps to step outside of any given viewpoint (or yourself) and laugh at how absurd it really it is

honor and respect all ways of life.

learn to see what exists between where you are and what you’re looking at.

the empty space is not empty.

it seems there are two approaches to the current game of life:

work hard, struggle, do all you can to achieve and try to be successful.. and ultimately fail in the end, still feeling like you need to continuously keep on striving for more to be happy.

or simply surrender, let go, awaken, realize this is all an illusion and none of what you were struggling with or wanting really matters or brings you any significance or true fulfillment.. and upon doing so find a deep sense of peace, love, and appreciation for all of life (from where you can begin to really live).

[some speak of the easy way or the hard way.. the hard way can eventually lead to the easy upon reaching your breaking point, or you can just let go of what society is telling you and start with the easy way]

heal. the most important thing you can do in life is heal your unconscious, emotional, conditioning. after that, all falls into place. the divine is always ready, as soon as you are.

love is always here, simply waiting for you to open your eyes to it.

surrender doing. start being.

stop doing. begin being.

the tools, how to, and techniques matter not. what does matter is the message. when you learn to be still and hear inspiration, everything you need will unfold in perfect order.

remember: the message that comes through is what is important, not who it comes through.

if you find yourself not knowing what to do next in life, ask yourself, what can i do to be more humble or kind?

honor all paths, and let go of your identification with any particular group or mindset. while nice to gather with others and meet with new people whom have a common viewpoint, it’s very easy to identify with the group-thinking, which can overpower your ability to hear clear inspiration directly from the divine.

the biggest hurdle to growth is seeing what’s wrong with any given situation rather than seeing what’s unenlightened about your viewpoint of the situation.

listen closely. the inspiration is always there.

when waking up in the morning, spend as much time as possible in silence, without listening to, reading, or watching anything in the physical world. by doing so you’ll increase your ability to hear the divine speaking to you through inspiration. combining extended periods of silence with time spent alone in nature can be very powerful and healing.

what i’ve been sharing (or describing) for decades in my work is simply another form of meditation.

do what makes you feel alive. but also realize that you can feel alive in any given moment by simply being.

one reason to spend as much time in silence as possible is to be able to hear the divine inspiration within (by stepping away from the distractions of the external world). another reason is to avoid tuning into any lower vibrations, as many (if not most) people live in a state of fear. while not absolutely necessary, listening to, reading, or watching positive influences can be helpful if you are certain that you know the external message is one of a higher vibration.

my work has often depicted the beauty of nature, and wide open landscapes without people. over time these images expanded to wider and wider perspectives, and various depictions of seeing in all directions, such as in the 360 degree ‘little planet’ images. in these i’ve created ways to hide the tripod or myself from appearing so its still an image about experiencing the natural world (and not about me). in the self-obsessed ‘self-ie’ world, it’s fun and interesting to think of these little world images as the ‘selfless-ie’. also interesting is that i only discovered the little planet look/technique after going through a process of surrendering and getting on a spiritual path.

simply relax and be still. you don’t need to struggle to follow any particular meditation or spiritual process. just spend time in silence or in nature, and you will naturally begin to feel and heal.

when sharing something with another, ask to remain humble in doing so. while at times it can be helpful to share a story or personal experience as a means to relate or connect with another, pause for a moment to see if this sharing is coming from one’s own need for attention or from an inspired place that will help the other.

likewise, it can be exciting to share what one is learning during one’s process of awakening, transformation, and growth, though pause to listen if what you’re sharing is really what the other needs to hear. sometimes all the other needs is merely to be heard or loved, and giving advice or teaching will not help (and may push the other away).

love knows no boundaries

remember, the ego is loud, while the presence of the divine is an infinite silence that resonates much more powerfully.

we’re all here for different reasons. not everyone’s path will look like yours. and there’s nothing inherently wrong with anyone else’s particular path.

when sharing with others what you’ve learned on your spiritual journey, it can be much more effective to use universal language and say things in your own words, rather than try to repeat what another has said (as certain lingo may not be understood by the other or may create a sense of group identity within you, either of which may create further separation).

perhaps the express lane on the spiritual journey: stop identifying with any thoughts, teachings, or beliefs that come from another or from any group. let go of these, embrace silence, and listen to the inspiration coming directly from the divine in your heart.

so much has been said about the impact of social media upon people in modern society. there’s so much information online and many people trying to be the expert in any given field to earn a living (or sometimes just to cause trouble).

perhaps, rather than using social media to post ‘comments’, ‘news’, or ‘how-to’ information, we can all begin to use it simply as a means to share our own personal feelings, journey, and stories in a way that is heart-felt, authentic, and real.

we don’t need any more people telling us what to do, how to do it, or what they think about what others are doing. all of that sort of thing keeps us trapped in the mind (and causes further chaos and separation). any ‘information’ shared should be inspired (and kept simple).

share what you feel, who you are, what is real to you, your essence as a human being.

content like this will help others feel more connected as humans compared to technical or opinionated content from the mind. opening one’s heart also encourages others to open their hearts. and all the world really needs for great transformation is for enough us to open our hearts and heal past wounds.

what matters is not what you think, but what you feel.

for the next couple weeks i’m taking a break to ‘just be’ as much as possible. i’ve told clients i’m unavailable except for emergencies and have cleared any repeating events off my calendar. i’m grateful to have a quiet home to myself these next couple weeks too, as it’s been over two years since i moved out of my condo and have had my own quiet + sacred space. (i technically did have my own very tiny space when i had my van but the whole need to find a place to park it every night took away from it really being a quiet + sacred space where i could simply be and live undisturbed for as long as i desired) in these next two weeks i’m also taking a break from going on ambitious long local drives like i was doing a lot recently. i had thought of working on making some videos from a trip a few years ago but may not work on those at all unless i feel called to after taking time to be present and honor myself. my intent is to step out of so much of the mental activity of the physical world and have a bit of a quiet retreat in a sense.

i encourage everyone to do the same to as much of a degree as possible in their world. there is so much mental conditioning in modern society of what one is supposed to do and so many things that get in the way from simply just being present. all this conditioning and all these distractions keep one in the mind or stressed or in some state other than truly free. this world is what we make of it, and to truly live it we need to find that still space within and live from that place. yes, one could have a regular weekly or daily meditation, though this is still something that tends to get scheduled into an already jam-packed schedule. sometimes going on a retreat to a quiet + still space in the external physical world for an extended period of time is what one truly needs. from this place of letting go of attachment to all the things one is supposed to do, all the places one is supposed to go to, all the things one is worrying about, all the goals or things one is trying to accomplish, etc, one will find a deeper awareness, a deeper purpose, and a deeper connection to the infinite. in this awakening, and one will realize that everything is already in perfect divine order as it is and there’s no need to struggle or resist anything. with deeper awareness one will realize how everything is connected to everything else. and with this greater clarity one will have new insights on life and one’s true purpose. and if one feels compelled to go back to do everything one was previously doing, one can do so but from a more relaxed place (and even if one continues to fill one’s day with much activity and ‘doing’). though one may discover that so much of the doing was simply a resistance to being in the here and now and experiencing the presence. society is filled with so many things it is trying to sell one on needing in order to live. all these distractions are really designed to take one away from living in the present moment (where everything one needs unfolds in perfect divine order) and fill one with fear that one might not have what they need if they don’t buy what is being sold or might miss out on what others are experiencing if they don’t follow what others are doing. i recall noticing this sort of thing a couple decades ago, where the mass media consumeristic society was conditioning people with these sort of mental constructs, programs, and limiting belief systems (perhaps i couldn’t quite put all the words on it back then but i could see how so many people were living their lives like that). this programming (really brainwashing) can easily become so engrained into one’s everyday experience (it actually becomes so subtle and subsconscious that most people are unaware it even exists). taking a break from everything one is doing in the external world to have another perspective on life or to simply relax may be one of the greatest things one can do for one’s own sanity, let alone spiritual growth.

another thing i would highly recommend would be to go explore places in the world that are quiet and as free from the norms of modern society as possible. in particular, going for a walk in nature can be quiet beneficial. this is something one can do daily. even if one lives in a city, there’ll be some place not too far away where one can step away from the distractions and noise. another thing one could do to help would be to minimize one’s physical belongings. minimalism will help eliminate the distractions and clutter both in one’s home and in one’s mental space. another thing that will help will be to take a break from one’s digital life. it seems that so quickly social media and smartphone usage have become a huge addiction for so many, and that people are not able to live without staring at a tiny screen every few minutes, let alone leave the house without their phone.

this is getting longer than i thought when i started typing and i’m a bit tired. i will get to sleep and enjoy waking up in a quiet space. that alone is one thing one can do to be more present.. embrace going to sleep and waking up in a quiet setting. do not use your phone or other technology for a short while before going to sleep and do not use it for a while after you wake up. do not set an alarm and wake up naturally. when you wake up, do as you feel. if you feel like laying in bed for a while, do so. if you feel inspired to meditate or go for a walk or write in a journal, do that. simply be present with your surroundings and with yourself. all of these suggestions are to help one be more present with oneself.

i will write more as i feel called to, though i encourage you not to read, watch, or listen to anything outside of yourself during this process of unplugging from your typical daily routine and reality. all of the deepest answers and insights exist within oneself. the distractions are designed for you to forget this and to forget who you truly are. when you deliberately step away from all of the distractions, addictions, external messages, etc, you can look within and discover the true brilliance that shines there. this is the place to listen to and live from. until you discover this inner source you cannot know how to truly live nor the magnificence of this experience we call life.

sometimes one fills one’s life (knowingly or unknowingly) with so many things to do as a form of resistance to facing what one is really feeling. if you were resisting anything you may need to feel whatever hurts you didn’t want to feel, though once you move through these you soon discover the bliss and peace and lightness of letting go of these burdens you may have been carrying. this healing process can be quite transformative, especially if you’ve carried these emotions (or conditioning) for years or most of your life. if you do enough of this inner work in your own consciousness, you’ll discover that you can easily re-write the story of your life and do things you may have never imagined possible. you may also realize that the things you thought you wanted to do really no longer matter and you can simply live in peace regardless of what happens in your life. you may discover there is far more to gain from this process of letting go than there is from getting or doing anything else in life. from this place of letting go and unburdening oneself, a great sense of freedom will arise and one will be able to see the true beauty and brilliance of life. ordinary moments will become extraordinary, and beauty will be found in the simplest of things.

sometimes, perhaps often, what we need most is not another spiritual course/perspective/workshop/gathering/etc, and is certainly not another goal or thing we get in the physical world, but is simply a meaningful friendship with another whom loves and accepts us for who we are without judgment.

i once again now remember why i am here. i traveled across the universe to be here, to experience the awakening of the collective consciousness of humanity, one of the greatest and most spectacular awakenings to have occurred in this universe. gratitude fills my heart for this moment, to be here and now for this experience. i am grateful to be able to serve humanity with my presence and to be a clear conduit for divine grace to pour through me to all beings at all times in all dimensions for all eternity. this is one of the most beautiful experiences possible, to see consciousness awakening each day and to witness the unfolding of divine grace. may divine grace, love, light, and blessings fill all of our hearts and may we all live in peace and perfect harmony with each other and with the planet. may the highest light radiate and shine through each one of us as we collectively remember who we truly are.

this is our reality, we chose it and created it. declare the highest good you wish to see in the world and you too will feel it and see it unfold before you. call forth the brilliant light of your divine spirit to shine through all levels of your being, and you will become a light for the world, and help illuminate it for all other beings.

[its often good for the soul to connect with the spirit]

i recently saw these videos with some beautiful aerial views of the world.. i could see my photographic work looking like this in the future. if anyone wants to donate or raise the necessary funds, i’d be happy to consider creating a video or photo project like this :)


FLYING OVER KAUAI (4K) Hawaii’s Garden Island | Ambient Aerial Film + Music for Stress Relief 1.5HR


7 HOUR 4K DRONE FILM: “Earth from Above” + Music by Nature Relaxation™ (Ambient AppleTV Style)

i had an interesting experience waking up this morning, or thinking i was waking up.. i woke up and heard some sort of audio program or video playing on my computer where someone was speaking some words and everyone on the call (or in person if it was a live recording?) was repeating the words. it felt kinda strange for so many people to be blindly repeating the affirmations or prayers or whatever it was, and i didn’t know who the speaker was now that i think of it. and then i realized that was still part of a dream at another level.. i was dreaming and woke up within a dream to realize (or wake up again) that i was still dreaming! if it would’ve been another level of waking up, it would’ve been like in the movie inception where they go multiple levels deep into dreaming within a dream. i’m not sure if you’ve seen it.. it is good in how it portrays these multiple aspects though having hollywood action elements to it there is a little violence i think, but its not really bad like other movies. the metaphors (or realities expressed or hinted at in different ways) are really great in regards to this, and it also looks at not even knowing if one is dreaming or not. it was interesting as at first i didn’t know i was dreaming but then i just woke up or realized i was.. not sure what caused it, it was really just a happening, like awakening can be for some, without any direct cause that the mind can know or understand. it was just like an expansion or stepping out of that false reality into a greater reality, awareness, or understanding/wisdom. and then it was interesting as having known this i could still almost linger in between worlds, the dream world and this reality (if one could call it that as it may just be a dream too) where i know it was a dream.. and from the in-between state of knowing both, it felt like i could continue to create the dream more if i wanted to but it was also difficult to keep creating it after knowing it was just a dream (difficult being in a sense.. not that it really was difficult, but it was like why would i want to).

i think this is why there’s almost a little bit of a fear or wondering what will happen as i awaken to greater levels of consciousness and awareness.. as when i realize this whole thing is just a dream i may have this similar experience as i linger in the place where i’m still here in the world but also beyond this unreal world, and i may not feel inclined to stay as i know it isn’t real. and in thinking back to some of the experiences i’ve had where i’ve had experiences of transformation and awakening, one time i was actually starting to ascend out of the body and leave until someone at the course asked what i was doing and he said i was leaving my body and then i felt myself come right back in to it.. though another time after a more advanced process i found myself in a place that felt like i was at a higher level of awareness (or in a higher dimension/plane as my friend who guided me through the exercise described it), and i felt like i had no desires and no resistances.. i just quietly was there and everything simply was. i sat there for a while just watching the world around me from this place of no-mind awareness and everything was totally calm, quiet, and peaceful. i think people were working on their own processes and talking in the background or whatnot, and i was completely undisturbed or affected by any of it. i just saw it as part of the surroundings as i gazed out to the world. [an interesting aside, i remember that when i was sitting there totally calm, one of my friends there whom i had liked (and was interested in a month or two earlier) had said now she actually likes me.. it was funny as it no longer mattered to me (nor did anything else) as i was completely at peace without desire or resistance] it was just before lunch break and most if not all people had left the large hall/room by the time i got up from where i was sitting on the floor. when i got up and started to walk out to the hallway, the experience/perception was as if i moved and then the body followed. i wasn’t confined to being the body or the mind.. i was the spirit and i could flow (around the general area where the body was), and as i floated or flowed in the direction i wanted to go, the body just moved and followed to keep up with the spirit.. i didn’t have to do any of the motion of the arms or legs or anything.. i was the spirit/soul/consciousness/energy that moved (either invisible in the physical plane or on another more subtle / higher plane), and then the physical body followed. i don’t recall exactly what happened after that.. i remember seeing a friend and someone else from the course there and hugging them both on my way to the hallway as i was feeling so free with this ‘new’ perception (and they could get some sense of how / where i was). i probably ate lunch and integrated the experience that afternoon.. i’m sure i had other experiences later too as the whole course/workshop was filled with profound and healing experiences, the most transformational, healing, and profound things i remember experiencing so far in this life.

anyhow, went off on a bit of tangent describing that second experience there.. though getting back to where i started exploring it, i didn’t feel like i wanted to just leave this reality after having that experience as it was just so amazing and beautiful to be here having this experience of life on earth (and have new perceptions of this reality). so it is interesting to wonder what may unfold as the journey continues and consciousness expands/grows. i suppose it all depends on how or where one is looking at it from.. the time i was leaving my body, or when i’ve had thoughts of maybe not coming back after knowing this is a dream, may be arising when certain aspects of life aren’t working.. and i just see that it doesn’t matter anyhow and might just take off and completely stop creating this whole illusion. though if it is working and i’m relaxed, comfortable, and enjoying it, then i’m more likely to stay and just experience it as the whole universe is then a worthwhile creation to continue to play in. i know some say one’s own happiness matters and some say it doesn’t in spiritual growth, though it may possibly be a determination of where one goes as one does grow, ascend, expand, etc. and perhaps all i described was merely just one particular aspect or viewpoint of one particular experience and its completely different every time and for everyone, regardless of any particular similarity or difference in subtleties.

i feel now i must’ve expanded or healed or grown in some way as the words are able to flow through to describe all of this.. recent resistances and obstacles had prevented me from being inspired or creative for quite some time, and now those must be lifted as i’m having this able to flow through me (although not entirely effortlessly, yet the words are able to flow through). i think it comes from the letting go and release of things or aspects in consciousness that i was seeing as burdens.. like all the thoughts about what to do about elements of my physical reality that aren’t perfect or were seemingly unhealthy or limiting in some way were more of what was actually limiting me rather than that the perceived limitations — perhaps it was the resistances and perceptions or thoughts themselves that were more limiting than the actual physical limitations.. as i’ve been letting go and surrendering and accepting where i’m at and being less attached to whether i’m able to do anything in particular (like accept that maybe i just won’t go to any of the community events if i’m not able to find a good car at a good price), i free up the energy and attention that was consumed by these thoughts/feelings/emotions/resistances/etc, and i have more free energy/attention to naturally tune into this creative flow and inspiration. i know i know all of this as i’ve gone through this sort of thing in all the healing + transformational work i described above, though its nice to experience it again. sometimes we can get so caught up in our own perceptions/beliefs/thoughts/etc that this gets us stuck inside the mind in a sense… which is interesting as most of the time the mind is empty and quiet, though the underlying feeling must still be there in consciousness even when we’re not having any of the thoughts and emotions that might be arising strongly at times.. that underlying feeling or aspect of our consciousness is creating a block that may be invisible. we may know that there’s this thing going on in our life but until we fully experience it or let it go in some way, its affecting our reality and preventing the flow of life / the divine / the universe / etc in our experience of life/reality.

i don’t know what else i wanted to write about this at this moment, though its good to have another look at surrender and acceptance and be able to share this from my own personal experience. there are so many teachings out there about this sort of thing but the most important aspect is to have our own direct experience of it. the words can give us some direction but can never be a substitution for actually learning it and feeling it yourself. i remember back when i took the courses i mentioned above and had such profound experiences that simple truths like ‘feeling is healing’ would arise. its good to get back to some of those and to share them once again. it seems that there is so much stuff out there in regards to spiritual and personal growth and healing work and whatnot, so many modalities and teachers, that it can become so overwhelming to one who’s trying to make any progress in life if one is trying to follow someone else’s direction. yes these things can help in the beginning, though one really needs to embark on one’s own inner journey and allow it to all unfold rather than continue to be reading and watching others speaking and sharing new techniques and methods. stick to what you know works and continue to explore through that method if its helping you. now i’m not saying that new things are bad as there is some great technology unfolding in the physical world, though in the realm of consciousness and higher awareness, things tend to become more simple the further we go. all one really needs to do is feel the various aspects of life that one may be resisting. yes some techniques can be quite powerful to help bring those to awareness especially if they’ve been long suppressed, though do not forget that the greatest teacher lies within. follow your heart and ask for divine grace if you feel stuck, and dive wholeheartedly into whatever it is you may be feeling or resisting, and you’ll make it through and discover the peace and bliss on the other side as you surrender and let go of your resistance. as you work through and feel and release whatever may be in your consciousness, you’ll naturally become more aware as you free up your energy. with this greater awareness, you’ll naturally start to see and realize new levels of perception and capacities as consciousness/spirit in a human body. there’s no need to seek these directly, and trying to seek or force any of these on your own may only hinder you in your own growth and expansion. it’s all a very natural process.. just feel and embrace all aspects of yourself unconditionally and you will be free. [and in being free you may just discover that there really was never anywhere to get to but the here and now]

it’s beautiful to see how one’s spiritual journey can unfold in so many ways..

** my Van is currently For Sale, with or without the build **

to purchase it, please contact me at:


UPDATE 2019.03.12: i sold the empty van today. the whole build structure is available for sale, or i can sell parts separately like the water pump, water tank, rv-type filling hatch, sink + countertop, shelf, storage cabinet, bath tub with slats (that can hold compost toilet), curtains, hanging closet, etc. i’ve already sold the refrigerator and compost toilet.

this is a very long + detailed video about the adventure of building a simple camper conversion in my new Ford Transit-150 van. while speaking about the build, i show a slideshow of photos of the build process starting with the empty van and going into some details of getting all the pieces and components installed. i may have left out some details (it was the summer before last when i built it, so don’t quite remember everything at this point).

to read a very long + detailed article about why i chose this van with all the custom options and some considerations about how to build it, please visit this link:


to see a full video tour of the finished van, see here:


see more photos, video, details, and writing on the van here:


(the spoken audio (and slideshow of photos) was all recorded in one take without any editing. sorry for the occasional noise from the microphone on my iphone headset. i had tested this before and didn’t hear any noise, and it sounded better than the built-in mic on my macbook that would pick up the sounds of me pressing the keyboard to arrow forward to the next photo)

in this (very) long article, i’ll explore why i chose a van for travel rather than another type of camper or rv, and go into the details of the various options i chose that i felt would be best for a campervan when i special ordered a custom built van. i’ll also go into details about the build and decisions i made there to keep things simple and lightweight. i compare my experiences with the van to the previous truck [...]

Compassion is one of the principal things that make our lives meaningful. It is the source of all lasting happiness and joy. And it is the foundation of a good heart, the heart of one who acts out of a desire to help others. Through kindness, through affection, through honesty, through truth and justice toward all others we ensure our own benefit. This is not a matter for complicated theorizing. It is a matter of common sense. There is no denying that consideration of others is worthwhile. There is no denying that our happiness is inextricably bound up with the happiness of others. There is no denying that if society suffers, we ourselves suffer. Nor is there any denying that the more our hearts and minds are afflicted with ill-will, the more miserable we become. Thus we can reject everything else: religion, ideology, all received wisdom. But we cannot escape the necessity of love and compassion.

This, then, is my true religion, my simple faith. In this sense, there is no need for temple or church, for mosque or synagogue, no need for complicated philosophy, doctrine, or dogma. Our own heart, our own mind, is the temple. The doctrine is compassion. Love for others and respect for their rights and dignity, no matter who or what they are: ultimately these are all we need. So long as we practice these in our daily lives, then no matter if we are learned or unlearned, whether we believe in Buddha or God, or follow some other religion or none at all, as long as we have compassion for others and conduct ourselves with restraint out of a sense of responsibility, there is no doubt we will be happy.

- Dalai Lama XIV


Samadhi Movie, 2018 – Part 2 (It’s Not What You Think)

[below is an email i sent to my friends Yolanda, Susan, and Fili to explore some ideas related to creating a sustainable spiritual community/center near chicagoland]


here are a number of aspects about the community and some ideas for each of them. please let me know how all of you [or y’all, down heres in the south] feel about them. if something is totally off from what you’re envisioning or wanting, please let me/us know. if some parts really resonate, please say which ones so we can focus more on defining those. there are a lot of potentials, and a lot of the details i wrote will be more long-term based.. to start, a solution for housing and growing some food would work (which could be as simple as building a self-sustaining earthship home and sharing the space, or getting a lot of land to park a few tiny homes and grow food around them).

alignment / intention — we’ll have to collectively decide + determine what the overall intention is for the community and base our creation of it on how well each aspect is aligned with the intention/purpose. [i don’t want to have too many rules or limitations, though it’d be good to find a way to make sure what we’re all doing is energetically aligned with the community intentions and flows smoothly]

overall — the community/center could be a blend of some or all of the following: a self-sustaining off-grid community, a spiritual retreat center, a holistic health / wellness center, an organic farm, a tiny home / alternate / experimental housing development or resort, a natural park/garden, an ashram

sustainability — all aspects of the community should consider sustainability (and self-sustainability) as an important criteria in making decisions.

farming — both fields + greenhouse(s) to grow a variety of edible plants. fruit-producing trees would great too. i’d highly prefer not to have animals on site (especially any that cause strong odors), though possibly free-range chickens could be considered for egg production. food production would go to provide food to those living on the community grounds, for community meals, and could be sold at events to anyone visiting the community (and we could possibly have a farm stand on the main road / community entrance or have pickup/delivery of produce for local restaurants).

off-grid — depending on location, could consider water collection, re-use/recycling, waste treatment (earthship homes have a good approach using the water 4 times). on-site renewable solar + wind energy would be good. for heating + cooling of permanent buildings, an earth-bermed approach (like earthships or bermed monolithic domes, with windows facing south) would be good to eliminate the need for usage of most/any energy to heat/cool.

nature — ideally the surrounding area would be very natural, such as a preserve or park, or possibly agricultural (plant-based, preferably organic or non-spray). if we have an abundance of land with a large acreage, we can keep a natural area around the edge of the community as a preserve (with nature trails). a pond, creek, or other water area would be nice if possible.

location — quiet, peaceful, safe, natural, away from pollution sources (including air, noise, emf/emr, main roads, industrial/commercial areas, etc). i would describe the ideal setting as what one would find in a quiet national park/forest, followed by a rural or semi-rural area. ideally the land will be quiet + private, yet not too far from health food stores, flowering heart center, etc

meditation gardens — a nicely kept garden for meditation or nature walks would be beautiful. depending on how we want to run/design the community, this could be something that we could charge admission to (or request donations from) for the public. a labyrinth or other meditation circle would be neat to have too.

nature trails (walking + biking) — nice quiet trails around the community would be great for exploration, walking meditation, exercise, etc. depending on landscape, potentially a boardwalk like found in nature parks. a lookout tower or elevated walkway would be great where one can see the surrounding nature, sunset, and parts of the farm or community. treehouses could be neat to have as a space for meditation, gatherings, or camping.

landscaping — ideally landscaping will be kept natural or with minimal impact to the environment. landscaping should not require use of any gas-powered lawn care equipment that causes noise + air pollution.

housing — i see multiple potentials.. parking spots for movable tiny houses, small permament housing, shared housing in larger homes or dorms. anything built on site should consider sustainable building methods + energy-efficiency, such as passive house standards, monolithic domes, earthships, etc. ideally, the feel of any buildings (and the entire community) should invoke peacefulness, relaxation, sacredness, serenity, etc. minimalism in design would be good. a feeling closer to a nice resort would much be preferred rather than an art colony (though perhaps both kinds can exist on different parts of the land). this resort feeling doesn’t necessarily mean high-end expensive materials/finishes, but rather a clean, minimalistic, calm, flowing experience. this part is a little trickier – i don’t want too many rules or for everything to conform (as i don’t like the limitations of things like HOA’s), though good design considerations will help the overall feel of the community. i think a part of this will depend upon the density and placement of the homes. if homes are further apart in the woods / fields / nature, then there’d be more room for differences in home types / looks [though at the same time, a row of closely-spaced + brightly colored tiny homes could be neat too]. ideally the buildings should blend in or work well with the natural landscaping and be able to keep as much of the surrounding trees, plants, etc as possible, and there would be natural areas between each building / home. [some of these ideas are starting to go in different directions, exploring other possibilities i’ve imagined, such as master-planned residential developments/communities done with tiny homes or alternative housing types.. if these aspects aren’t aligned with what we are all looking for, i’m open to excluding them]

community areas — an outdoor gazebo or field for gathering would be nice, as well as a place for a fire pit/circle for social events or spiritual rituals.

community hall — a large hall would be great for various community gatherings and events. this could be rented out to (or profits split with) other conscious/spiritual teachers/groups to help cover the community expenses. a shared kitchen in the hall would be great so we could prepare meals for events and regularly as a community [we could also invite others whom don’t live on site and request donations for the meals].

business model — the ideal classification may be a non-profit church to avoid both property taxes and taxes on donations/revenue. regarding ownership of the grounds + buildings, it may be best to have everything owned by the community non-profit organization with rooms/homes or parking spaces for tiny homes rented out to those staying (one idea to explore would be classifying the stay as a spiritual retreat, as this may give us more flexibility compared to a more typical apartment/land lease, and potentially may be required if the organization is a non-profit or church). we could work something out where those of us starting/running the community or working the farm can live on site for free or at a reduced rate. another potential business model to consider would be that of a campground where spots are rented either short term or monthly/annually, and there can be park/destination models that are more permanent, as well as lodges/cabins or tiny homes / rv’s that can be rented from the campground for anyone who doesn’t have their own to park. or, if we are more farm-based, we could model after (or be part of) WWOOF where individuals volunteer on the farm in exchange for accomodation and meals. in the future if there are events that will bring in people from out of town and if we are to have a housing building with multiple rooms, we could run part of it like a bed and breakfast, dorm/hostel, or resort. regarding housing, we may be able to partner with a tiny house company to get free homes to rent out and split the proceeds (i know of one company currently distributing homes for this purpose).

income sources — rental of rooms, homes, or parking spaces for tiny homes. selling meals + extra produce. renting space in community hall for events/workshops. donations from those visiting the gardens. hosting our own workshops, classes, and other events. potentially a shop selling artwork, cds, books, crystals, etc. other donations, investments, etc.

roads — internal roads should be carefully considered (and minimized) so traffic does not become a hinderance to the quiet natural space of the community. to avoid air + noise pollution, it’d be good to consider only allowing zero emission vehicles on the internal roads, and having a parking lot/area near the main road / community entrance for internal combustion engine vehicles and visitors. during winter months when temperatures are below freezing, we could consider allowing any vehicle to use the internal roads if the grounds are large.

activities — community members could lead various activities such as meditation/blessing circles, community dinners, drum circles, sound healing, nature walks, yoga, qi gong, kai chi do, movie night, chanting, reiki share, etc. conscious celebration, singing, dancing, theatre, comedy, performances, and other fun activities would be great too (as long as they are aligned with the overall intention of the community). it’d be good to have both planned events and spontaneous activities that are inspired in the moment or that day. one idea might be to alternate between days of planned activities and quiet days, so anyone who wants to embrace silence and simply be has the quiet space to do so regularly. silent community meals would be a neat practice [it doesn’t have to be for all of them]. we could get a bus and go on community field trips to go explore local places. [the bus could also serve as a way to pick up a group who’s traveling to our community from the city or elsewhere via train]

education — the community could have regular classes for anyone whom lives on site or nearby (or online). the classes could be in the areas related to what we are doing, such as sustainability, spirituality, wellness, healing, etc

density — i see different levels of density available. there could be a row of closely-spaced tiny homes or buildings for a main street type feel, as well as larger buildings with individual rooms/units rented out. these would be near the community hall. there would also be buildings or tiny homes spaced out on larger pieces of land. these would have room for one’s own yard if one desires and natural or farm areas surrounding the units. some could be spaced much further apart with plenty of natural area around for the feeling of being completely immmersed in nature yet be walking or biking distance to the other homes + hall [this is ideally what i would like for my spot].

inspiration — the center/community can serve as a model for others to follow to create their own sustainable communities elsewhere. [in the future, we could also expand our community and create our own additional locations] we could host workshops or tours to show and teach others what we’ve done and how well its worked, and potentially offer consulting to anyone who wants to start their own community up.

here’s something i wrote earlier this year (scroll down to the very long paragraph) that has some additional ideas in it:
markmarano.com/2018/01/29/17928/ (Fili, i already sent this one to you back when i wrote it)



The “Oneness Moolamantra” describes the whole process of the evolution in Consciousness from the trascendental utmost formless manifestation of the Divine, to the flowering of the heart “Paramatma”, the abode of the Divine inside of us. This Awakening is the source of all Light, Truth, Love & Wisdom, who is our heavenly Father and our beloved Divine Mother ~ guiding us at every step of our life until we finally merge into Oneness.

this writing started off as me pondering a potential question or writing about how one can see a vision for reality that’s so vastly different than what presently exists (when many others may see it as completely out there, crazy, or not in tune with the present reality). the ideas that were coming to me were something along the lines of it being quite simple. one simply does not allow the present reality to affect one’s vantagepoints. one simply chooses influences and viewpoints that are conducive to one’s own wellbeing and the wellbeing of the planet and humanity. so many people are easily influenced by what others are saying, what others are doing, what the media is saying, what corporations are saying, and effectively what those in power or control want everyone to think. those pushing these messages to the masses, which causes the masses to continue to push and reinforce those messages themselves, continue to create the same reality and situation over and over by this simple mechanism. the more of us that wake up and become aware of what’s being said and pushed out to the masses, the quicker this game will end. fortunately many of us are awakening quickly now and these old ways of thinking are fading away.

this message isn’t coming through anywhere nearly as clearly as it was before i got up and decided to type it down when realizing it was quite good. everything happens in the moment, and when one tries to re-create the moment that previously existed, it doesn’t quite occur in the same manner. there was something else coming through about how we could simply end this, with more details of what was actually occurring…

i can’t remember it exactly, though in essence, it had to with choosing higher frequencies/vibrations. ah, one thing i recall.. was related to how one can see a reality that’s quite different than what’s occurring. effectively one chooses to ignore most of what’s not serving one’s vision. and some may think that one needs to know what’s happening in the world and ignoring destructive channels such as the news might not be good.. though one could choose to simply read or hear enough of what happened to get a feel for the essence of who to send/give blessings/energy, prayers/intention, and love to. though not watch or read for too long as to get caught up in all that fearful programming, as this is exactly what those sort of messages are designed to do, to keep us afraid and enslaved in the existing systems that require people to give their power and energy and life away to governments, military, corporations, banks, police, etc, etc. now i’m not saying we vanish all these systems this very instant with consciousness still where its at. however, the more of us that choose to see through the illusion of control and fear that requires and sustains these very systems and external forces, the more quickly we won’t have a need for any of the systems. the more of us that choose and learn to live our lives from a place of peace, joy, love, etc, the more quickly we’ll see the end of violence, war, and any kind of suffering. as we awaken to higher levels of reality and consciousness, we will see that all suffering is being created by our own perspectives of the mind, and that we no longer have to be live from that place. as our hearts open, we will begin to feel life and let go of resistance to what the mind has been creating and the limited viewpoints and beliefs that have been programmed by both our own previous experiences, manipulations/indoctrination by others, and the collective consciousness. as more of us begin to see through the veil and heal, we will naturally radiate energy from a higher place of peace and love. this higher energy that we feel internally will be what we begin to see reflected back to us in the external world. others will pick up on this vibration and begin to live from that place as well. (this is already all happening) this will spread to all of humanity and we will see great shifts in the world. without our own internal suffering, there will be no external suffering in the world. without our fear-based so-called rational thinking of the mind, we will no longer have to worry about our own survival or the survival of our family or other groups we identify with. we will begin to feel, trust, and know that everything is being taken care of for us by a greater power. (this doesn’t mean we completely let go of the mind, but rather we can choose to use it as a tool, rather than it use us) with the clarity of living without fear or limited belief systems, we will be able to see clearly exactly what steps we need to take to make the world a better place. our intuition and connection with others will lead us to work together to heal the planet. we’ll naturally and effortlessly collaborate in whatever way we’re best suited to do to create a world where everyone has healthy food, good shelter, clean water, and can live freely and at peace. no longer will anyone be forced to do something they don’t want or be manipulated or negatively influenced by an external force, as we will all be in tune with our own inner guidance coming directly from the divine, source, universe, higher mind, etc. this direct guidance comes from a place where we are all one and connected, and all of our actions will naturally be aligned with the greatest good rather than the fears/control/manipulation of the lower mind/ego. as this great shift in perspective occurs in the bodies, minds, and spirits of all of humanity, so much of what we currently see happening in the world will change, as the previous world was being created by humanity living from a place of disconnection, from a place of the lower mind/ego/fear, and that previous world will no longer serve a purpose and thus quickly dissolve, making way for a beautiful new world to unfold and grow before us.

for anyone living a world predominantly influenced by external factors and still engulfed in the old systems, the first step is to begin to see how these external systems truly do not serve humanity, and at the same time, to gain greater awareness and become more open to new possibilities. practice meditation, yoga, go for walks in nature, or do something else to help calm and transcend the mind. the more time you spend calming and becoming free of the mind, the more quickly it will lose its grasp. modalities that assist in healing one’s emotions and feeling through elements of one’s past that are unresolved or still showing up today can greatly help in quicken this process, as can receiving various forms of blessing (energy transfer, or direct experience of spirit), such as the flowering heart blessing or the oneness awakening blessing/deeksha. as you become free of the ego/mind, you’ll realize how much suffering it caused that is no longer there and you’ll be able to clearly see what no longer serves you or humanity. from this place of clarity, you can deliberately choose to focus your attention and energy on what does benefit yourself, humanity, and the planet as a whole. your higher vibration/frequency alone will be a gift to the world, as will be any actions you feel inspired to take to help transform, shift, and create the new world, no matter how big or small.

i made it back.. had some thoughts on beliefs when walking before dinner, lets see if i can remember.. my first thought was something like i have no idea anymore :) then some thoughts about beliefs themselves.. i believe that our beliefs and perceptions are what create our reality. this is partly what i’ve learned from others teaching, though also partly in what i’ve learned experientially. we can choose to believe something that is good for ourselves and create a reality that we enjoy, or we can choose to believe things that do not serve us and end up having a tough time in life.. we can choose to believe things that serve everyone as a whole and we’ll likely experience a much more beautiful world and connection with others and the divine than if we choose to believe things that are only self-serving. it seems that too many self/ego-serving beliefs and desires are what have caused so much of the struggle and situation we are now facing on earth. some, if not all of these, stem from some sort of fear, or something one isn’t (or many aren’t) willing to face. sometimes beliefs are created out of resistance to situations as its easier to do so than fully experience what is happening when its something we don’t like (which in itself is a belief of what we desire and resist, and what is good and bad). there was something else in there, lets see if i can remember…

it’s not coming to me in these few seconds i waited for it.. perhaps it will appear later. or perhaps it has dissolved or wasn’t there to begin with :) as far as individual beliefs, or what you asked me to be my core beliefs, i believe humanity is collectively awakening and evolving and that we will see drastic changes in society in our lifetime as a result. i know others are saying this as well, though i do also see signs of it unfolding. it seems that what is happening currently is what i thought of as the last stand of the ego.. it knows its on its way out and is fighting to survive. (which seems to be similar to what i’ve felt in my own experience lately) thank you, btw, for asking this question, as i was just thinking recently of writing a vision for a new world, and this could be an intro to it, though not sure i will write it all here for ya as it might get to be a bit lengthy :) essentially it will be a world of peace, where we each sense the connection to each other and the planet, and live in harmony as such. we’ll likely still be experiencing from different levels of consciousness and awareness, though as more and more of collectively evolve and become more loving and are able to see that we have more in common than what separates us (and can see that the things that do separate us really aren’t what we think they are and are simply limiting perspectives or beliefs), we’ll release what no longer serves us and naturally open ourselves up to connecting to each other, the world, god, etc. ah, that reminded me of what i was thinking earlier.. that so many people live with indoctrinated beliefs that come from outside of themselves and go to great lengths to defend their beliefs or viewpoints, when they weren’t even something they came up with themselves.. they were merely fed those beliefs by someone else trying to control them or whom didn’t know any better. as humanity gains more clarity and awareness over this, we’ll be able to grow more quickly. it seems to be happening with people not tolerating various injustices.. which i feel to be most effective, one’s approach in doing so must be carefully chosen, and be one coming from a higher vibration of love and offering a more loving or inclusive viewpoint rather than one that comes from an approach of fighting or resisting what is. not only does this work better energetically as there is no resistance, but as well in the physical world, as those being opposed will be more open to listen to someone coming from a higher place rather than just another mind/ego from the same level of fighting or control or resisting they are coming from.

another thought that came to me as i was walking was regarding my own personal perspective.. i don’t recall the exact words that came to me earlier, though it was basically about the part where i said i have no idea anymore.. i think i went into i don’t even know who i am anymore.. but in reality, i do know who i am as the one who is experiencing through this body and mind others think of or perceive as mark marano, though it’s more that i don’t know who mark marano is anymore, as mark marano can be whomever i decide and choose mark marano to be, based upon my own beliefs and chosen perspectives. i can pick anything i desire, and choose to be it. the difficult part for me has been knowing what to decide, hence having gone back to old ways as i mentioned earlier today, as i think at some point i realized that i liked me (the old me) and still had some exploring to do. however it seems that i got carried away with it or lost in that identity for too long that was no longer serving me, that the divine presented me with the recent health challenges (and other challenges before that regarding my projects) as a bit of a wake up call telling me its time to move on. i don’t know exactly where i’ll go from here in the future, though i do have some ideas, and i know it will be better than the past as i continue to expand, grow, and evolve. and its possible it won’t be a huge shift in my whole life in everything i do, but more of a subtly profound shift in how i perceive and experience life.

regarding choosing beliefs, i recall, from years back, that i felt something along the lines of it being better to let go of beliefs that no longer serve rather than taking on lots of new beliefs. it seems that the latter can simply feed the ego/mind/identity more than it needs to, especially if one gets too caught up in one’s own beliefs and needing to defend one’s beliefs or prove themselves or the beliefs right. by putting forth more effort into emptying oneself of one’s beliefs (or allowing life to do so), one creates more peace and space and freedom from which to experience life. and, if one so desires, one can still choose to create some beliefs that do serve one’s desires or perspectives that will help humanity evolve and transform, though one may not find it necessary to do so, as when one is living from a more empty place, a blank canvas so to speak, one will be more in tune with the divine, and the divine can naturally and more effortlessly flow through one’s life in a manner that does serve humanity and life itself.

For those who believe, no words are necessary. For those who do not believe, no words are possible

- Saint Ignatius de Loyola

technically, i purchased my first electric car 5 months + 1 day + some hours ago, though i didn’t drive it for 30 days straight due to a health issue, so have titled this approximately 1/3 year (or 4 months) worth of driving. the large majority of what you see on the map was actually done within the first 3 months worth of driving.. only a few ‘lines’ on the map were added in the most recent month of driving (in just 6 long drives), most noticeably, the northeastern-most route, the southwestern-most route, and some lines in the new tampa / wesley chapel area.

my electrical “fuel” cost has averaged 2.5 cents per mile the whole time i’ve had the car. i’ve been able to go almost everywhere just charging at home (on a standard 120v outlet slow charger). i have used free 240v public chargers a few times, though, other than the couple trips furthest south, i would’ve been able to make it home without charging had i let the charge % go a bit lower (and if i hadn’t combined a couple routes into the same day’s drive or taken the very long out-of-the-way route home).

i’m glad i got a fiat 500e (that had very low miles on it and was practically new). had i gotten a bmw i3 (without the range extender), it wouldn’t have been able to make it as far without stopping to charge (since it doesn’t let you use the full capacity of the battery). had i gotten a nissan leaf, the battery probably would’ve already had some degradation (as it has no thermal management / liquid cooling and this is a common issue), and i wouldn’t have been able to go as far either. also a lot of the used i3 and leaf models that i looked were not in as good condition and had odors of smoke.

i look forward to the upcoming release of electric vans and trucks to be able to easily travel the entire country without a drop of gas or oil. just the other day i learned about someone taking an electric stepvan with a huge solar array on the roof from the arctic circle to the bottom of argentina all on renewable energy.. it’s not an ideal setup (with limited range per charge), but still inspiring to see it being done. i would totally consider converting an electric stepvan into a camper or tiny home and traveling around the country in it. even without solar panels, it could be taken many places with current charging networks.

electrical vehicles have less environmental impact, lower long term costs (from lower maintenance and fuel costs), and better performance than vehicles with gas or diesel engines. some used EV’s can be found at really low prices too (i bought mine for around 1/3 of the new sticker price, and it still had a hint of new car smell to it). if you want to talk to others about their EV experiences, “national drive electric drive week” is about a week away and there are hundreds of local meet-up events throughout the country.

besides the lower environmental impact, the effect on human health will be much lower too. imagine how nice the world will be, especially in dense urban and sub-urban areas, when one can walk or sit outside without breathing in exhaust or pollution from vehicles driving by (especially from vehicles with a dirty diesel engine or vehicles that are old or not in good running condition). it’ll also be really nice not to hear loud internal combustion engines as cars pass by, especially ones that sound like they’re about to fall apart and make so much noise to barely move. hearing engines echoing loudly in the distance will become a thing of the past. some people with ego issues may think louder is better (or feel the urge to annoy others with loud noise), though once one experiences how effortlessly, quietly, smoothly, and quickly electric vehicles can accelerate, there will be no question how much better performance is in electrical vehicles. just imagine being a truck driver and how much nicer (and healthier) the experience will be.. headaches from the noise and vibration all day will no longer be an issue.

sometimes one needs to experience both (or all) sides of an aspect of reality in order to fully embrace it.

some more thoughts on surrender and technology.. it’s interesting to see how the whole concept of surrender has applied in technology. i can see so many things that have unfolded after i’ve let them go or completely forgotten about them. i remember around the time when i got my first laptop computer and downloaded my CD’s onto it (or perhaps when i still had the desktop computer before then), i thought how it would be so much simpler to just play the music on a portable computer in my car rather than have to carry so many compact discs with me.. a couple years later or so i discovered the iPod and saw other mp3 players being released (and newer cars can play the music right off a usb drive). in the world of photography, i remember so much research and trying to find an ultra-wide angle rectilinear lens and then those being manufactured later.. and i was trying to simplify my equipment and be able to do everything with a smaller camera that could fit in my pocket but have good image quality, and then mirrorless cameras became available and later ultra-wide angle lens options started to show up for them (and now smartphones even have it, and its rumored that the next iPhone will be announced in a couple weeks with an ultra-wide angle lens built right into it). i recall when i first discovered the little planet technique that i had to research and develop and have a custom mount machined so i could easily create time-lapses using the technique (as no one had made one before), and after creating some, seeing the next step as making the 360 degree time-lapses move rather than have a stationary tripod (which i attempted but the equipment was so big and heavy that it wasn’t ideal).. several years later 360 degree cameras started to become available to consumers and, now, a few years later, there are lots of options and they’re being used to replace action cameras and do all sorts of movements. i recall for the longest time not wanting to have to carry a tripod and wishing there were some way to just have the camera stay in place without needing to carry or set up a heavy tripod.. i was also researching and trying different ways to take aerial and low aerial images (without needing to fly in a helicopter or plane, use a ladder, bucket truck, etc).. years later quadcopter drones became popular and now there are tons of options. i had purchased the first popular consumer quadcopter model that seemed to have begun the drone industry and after using it for a while, i was looking for alternative options as i’d like to have something small that fit in a pocket (and regulations started to come about and something lighter weight that was considered a toy would be better).. years later small drones came out, though the smallest one was still not ideal, and now it sounds like a new model that is lighter weight and with better image quality will be announced/released soon. a number of years ago i remember thinking of a special tilt/shift lens adapter that didn’t exist and years later i saw that come out. i’m sure i could think of other ideas that i had to wait a long time for it to be developed too. just in the last couple weeks i was doing some time-lapses while driving with my 360 cameras, and the idea came to me of how i could make an interesting little planet shot with two 360 cameras (really just 180 degrees would be needed), one at the front of the vehicle and one at the back, and stitching them together to make the vehicle disappear to only capture the surroundings. just a couple days ago i read about a new camera that’s going to be announced tomorrow, and learning more about it from leaked information, it looks like it will capture 180 degrees and is very tiny, which might just be what could work for the idea i just had recently. it’s funny how all these things come together. sometimes we do need to just let go and forget about the ideas of what we’re seeing or wanting for years. it can be difficult when being ahead of the time in one’s vision, though likely the ideas that are coming to us are also being picked up by others in the collective consciousness and will be developed.. or we could work on the development ourselves if we chose to too. its beautiful to see the awakening of consciousness, and great to see how as more people awaken, how this affects the development of technology. so much new technology and what would’ve once been very specialized technology is now being developed much more quickly with shifts in consciousness. the more of us that awaken, the quicker it will be. we still must learn to surrender and let go and not be attached, though it won’t need to take as long. as we collectively evolve to higher levels of consciousness, we may be able to very quickly or instantly step out of one reality and into another where what we’re envisioning already exists. as we learn to do the work in consciousness, so much will unfold and evolve so quickly. some have looked at the adoption rate of new technologies and have seen how quickly the latest technologies have come about, especially smartphones.. some years ago it seemed like barely anyone had them and then seemingly all of a sudden it seemed like almost everyone had one. this adoption rate may continue to happen more quickly for newer technologies, especially ones that are aligned with the health of the planet and the good of the collective consciousness. electric vehicles right now are getting very close to the point where the adoption rate will go up very quickly. it’s nice to see more options becoming available as i’ve been thinking of an electric van, truck, or something that i can use as an electric RV or camper for a while now. these are currently in the works and will be available pretty soon. i had written one manufacturer a little while ago inquiring about an electric van version of their truck and they mentioned getting a lot of interest in a van. there are other manufacturers that are going to be releasing electric van options (at least overseas) in the coming months too. i know i just sold my van earlier this year, though would certainly consider an electric van when they’re available. i’ve been having more thoughts about getting back on the road.. i have a few different ideas for living and travel.. it would really depend on what large electric vehicles are readily available first and when i get my own land where i can park it near here. ideally i’d have my own home and also an electric RV or van to travel with, though i’d also consider only having an electric RV and waiting on the home if it could either tow a tiny home or travel trailer, or if it were larger to have a comfortable living area inside and had dual motors and all wheel drive to have it as my expedition vehicle / home to explore with (though still really need land if i want to stay around the area here for most of the winter months). i’ve gone off on a bit of tangent there, though this does come back to surrender. i suppose i just need to let go and know its going to happen (and i already know it will, its just a matter of time before a good option with what i’m looking for is readily available for sale at a decent price here). i thought about getting a school bus and converting that into a tiny home because it’d have so much room though i really don’t want to support the fossil fuel industry. back to other technologies that are better for the planet, i’m reading more about renewable energy taking over, and it seems like we’re turning more to the right direction to reduce our impact on the planet. it’s awesome to see the new world we are creating as more of us are awakening. sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the drama of the world that wants to take our attention away, though as we remember, spiritually, the outer world is a reflection of the inner world, and remember that more and more of us are awakening, it’s easy to see that we’re headed in a good direction despite any hiccups along the way. the more of us that awaken, the more of us that continue to awaken. imagine soon that being awakened will be normal, and there will be more people awakened with flowered hearts than those without. at that point there will be even greater transformation unfolding in the world. some of these things we may be looking forward to right now (and some things that some might even see as impossible) will be nothing compared to what will be possible decades from now after the entire collective consciousness has awakened and evolved. decades from now people will be looking back at what we have yet to experience in the world as being quite archaic. it’s crazy to think that, though just look at how much has happened in the century or even just the last quarter century. a quarter century ago people barely knew how to use computers and barely anyone knew what the internet was. i admit that, back then, even as someone who knew more about computers than anyone else i knew, thinking about the network capability of the computers in school and thinking that i really didn’t see much of a use for it.. though shortly after that i was ‘online’ pretty often to play computer games with someone else, or chat with friends, send emails, or begin to explore the infancy of the world wide web. heck i still even have some emails from 22 years ago. sometimes i’ve thought about completely giving up on technology and exploring other areas of life or just living simply without it to a degree (or at least not engaging in developing technology or researching or envisioning new technology), though its interesting to see here how for the majority of my life i’ve been engaged with technology at some level and how i’ve been able to see where things are going with it. perhaps it is like some have told me, that it is a gift, since some aspects of it come quite easily. i suppose i’ll continue to embrace this gift for now, though also continue to explore other things that really make me feel alive, like being in nature and seeing new places and new perspectives. i’m not sure where this is all going, it’s me just rambling on at this point.. hopefully someone finds it interesting if anyone actually reads it all. as usual, i won’t go back and edit this or re-read it either. maybe later down the line i’ll randomly happen upon this and start reading it and find it interesting.. that’s a whole interesting concept right there to explore.. leaving things or messages behind for oneself to encounter later. in this whole illusion of life, that seems to be what we’ve done. we’ve left a little bit of truth hidden beneath the surface for us to ‘randomly’ discover one day, and this discovery will lead to our awakening and self-realization. if we hadn’t left this bit of truth for ourselves to find, we may have never woken up from this dream. despite how interesting or helpful technology can be, it really doesn’t matter nearly as much as we make it matter. what really matters is waking up. only after awakening can we truly begin to live.

some more thoughts the next morning:

i almost forgot to mention, another thing that i had an idea of was starting to share video clips of aspects of my life.. in a sense i did this 15 years ago in a video i put together about my experiences hanging out with friends, though, more recently, a number of years ago around the time i got my truck camper, i also had begun to post audio recordings of me speaking (and rambling) about ideas that were coming to me or what was happening in my life.. around that time i had the idea that i could record and post videos of me speaking from inside my truck camper and the journeys i was on. i had previously been writing and posting “blogs” in my online journal / website about experiences in my life or inspiration or things/ideas that came to me. i didn’t end up making the videos of me speaking about my own experiences as i saw how absurd and ridiculous just the audio recordings alone could get.. instead when i went on my journeys, i took photos and recorded videos of what i saw (that would become daily films with a hint of a vintage home movie type feel, and could almost be a time-lapse of sorts of my journey across the country). now, years later, many others have started to post lots of videos about their travels and “vlogs” about their life. over many of the years of my photography i had experimented with creating time-lapses and now in more recent years i see how many more people are also experimenting in time-lapses and adding new layers of techniques to them (as i would like to do) and also creating videos about travel or a place through the form of time-lapse videos. it’s interesting to see how all of this unfolds.. sometimes we simply need to have the idea and just surrender and allow it to be, and it will show up in the world through the efforts of others. if we try to make it too much about ourselves or ‘our idea’ then the ego/mind can get more involved and in the way. it’s best to just observe and allow the inspiration, and if feeling called to follow it, to follow it.. but not necessarily feeling the need to follow every single inspirational moment to actualize it. for it seems that we are simply picking up on inspirational messages or wavelengths that are being broadcast to us from the divine source.. and its often not just one of us alone who is picking up on the signal. if its something the divine wants to express through us and experience, it will unfold in some manner through one of us in the collective consciousness.. if one doesn’t express the message, another will have also heard it and will express it in some way. though i do urge anyone who is tuning into the inspiration to be careful that the message doesn’t become too much about the self, ego, competition, conflict, or any sort of other lower vibrational message. having the perspectives i do, i tend to naturally turn away from anything that is too far down that path, though i sometimes encounter the sort of message that has those underlying elements. as i say this, i also realize how much of this writing may seem to come from that sort of limited viewpoint as i speak about myself having seen these things years before they happened.. though the message is really about the unfolding of consciousness and this is how i experienced it.. as one envisions something and embraces the patience or surrender (or complete forgetting of the idea), one allows the space for it to manifest into this experience of reality we have in the physical world. i also see how for decades i’ve had a sense of connection to nature and the environment, and how i also had seen the negative effects of the mass-media-driven consumeristic society.. and over time i’ve seen a couple people talking about some of these things, and how now, decades and many years later, there is much more awareness and concern about the planet and what has been going on and how so many have been unconscious about what was happening. it seems that as more of us awaken, and continue to awaken to higher levels of consciousness, we help others around us awaken.. and in awakening, what one was once blind to becomes quite evident through simple awareness. getting back to the vlogs, one aspect i find interesting is to essentially be able to experience and see the world through another’s eyes.. this is one of the beautiful things in life i’ve enjoyed about meeting someone new or getting to know someone better and having a close connection. this alone could be a spiritual process to open one up to new perspectives and compassion for another, and lead one to higher levels of consciousness. it is interesting in that if one lets go and embraces what one is seeing and hearing through the form of video, one can feel like they are there with others in that experience, and one can begin to lose a bit of the sense of time and place of where one physically is watching from. if one were to watch several videos of others’ experiences in different parts of the world, one could almost live those different experiences all in one day. now i’m not suggesting one sit around and watch videos all day long, though it is an interesting metaphor of how the divine is living and expressing itself through each one of us in unique ways. its interesting to see the underlying divine aspect of so many things in life like this. if we look for the message, or when we have awakened to a higher vibration of consciousness, we’ll naturally be able to see that the divine message and expression is always there, in everyone and in everything. if we get too caught up in the distractions, the mundane routine of life, the drama of the world, or any other sort of mental activity of the ego or mind, we can easily miss the divine message that is always there. it’s simply a shift of focus from the mind to the heart to bring one back to being able to feel and sense what the divine is expressing. now its a simple idea but it can be difficult if one is resisting any aspect of reality as then one may be stuck in the mind until one surrenders and lets go. getting back to the whole interesting metaphor of being able to experience and live through others’ videos (which now i also remember a friend telling me about a youtuber he watched that said something about living vicariously through his videos).. the other day at the flowering heart center a few of us had a chat that included artificial intelligence.. it was interesting to see the metaphor in there of our whole experience here.. how we as as humans are working on creating these machines that will be able to think and do things for themselves, just like the divine has created us with the ability to think and do here. it seems like this sort of thing is all part of the spiritual awakening journey in a sense.. the things that show up that have this underlying aspect are another way the divine is helping us to wake up and see who we really are, and its also an expression of who we really are at another level. i mentioned something related to that during the conversation, though something else came to me (i think it may have been later or after the conversation) that i didn’t get a chance to mention.. it was something along the lines of relating our current experience to the artificial intelligence and how do we know that we aren’t already in a matrix-like simulation of artificial intelligence.. or perhaps the thought was more about how many layers deep are we already in this sort of thing (perhaps not necessarily in AI but in the depths of creation and divine expression itself)… [it’s kinda fun to see and embrace those sort of possibilities, as i feel jumping down the rabbit hole like that, so to speak, can help give us new perspectives aligned with deeper awakening of consciousness] anyhow, i think there was some whole other topic related to what i wrote last night that i was thinking when i woke up this morning, but don’t recall what it was as i did explore this ‘vlog’ one quite a bit and at the moment have lost what the other was.. i’ll surrender and accept it, and if it comes to me a little later will write more.. if not, perhaps it will come to me another time if its something the divine wants to express through me, or perhaps it was simply an inner realization for myself and not necessarily to share at this time. [the mind likes to share all of these things as its quite fascinating to see and explore all of these ideas, though perhaps by forgetting some of them, its more humbling as part of the message was suggesting above.. about not making it too much about the self and the experience of the self, but making it about message itself. which is part of what i like about how the videos i made of my trip across the country didn’t include shots of myself or any of my voice in them.. it was simply an experience that could’ve been lived by anyone, or simply experienced by the divine, without any of the selfie view or telling others what is happening.. this is the sort of viewpoint i was always drawn to, though in the last couple years, upon discovering them, i have come to embrace some of the more typical vlogs or videos of others talking about and expressing their feelings of what’s happening in their world. remember life is not about ‘my’ journey or ‘your’ journey, but simply ‘the’ journey itself.]

a few other notes:

its funny how i just wrote this morning about similar messages coming through many of us.. and how yesterday i mentioned the little camera that was going to be released today. after typing and posting what i did above, i saw that a review video was just posted a few minutes ago about the camera (which may have been a little early as the official announcement is not up yet and other links to it that were posted today have been taken down).. and in the review one thing she said was about how much it could do and imagining what the future brings, reminding me of what i wrote last night about how decades from now we’ll be looking back at the technology today and seeing how archaic it looks. the divine knows no limits, and as consciousness continues to evolve, the divine expression through us will become much more incredible and magnificent than it is today.

if watching vlogs to explore perspectives as i described above, an interesting element is to see the multiple video viewpoints when more than one person is recording the same event at the same time.. which also heightens the sense of experiencing and living through more than one perspective simultaneously. another interesting factor of so many people recording life now (and small cameras that can be left to automatically record) is related to the dilemma i saw 15 years ago when shooting video clips of experiences with friends…that one could really only fully engage with either the actual experience or the recording of it, and not both, as the act of recording would affect the experience [which would be interesting to relate to the role of the observer in quantum mechanics but that’s a whole other tangent and rabbit hole to dive into].. which could be a metaphor or related to the act of living and experiencing life through the heart and feeling compared to the limited viewpoint of being stuck in the mind and thinking and seeing the world through the filters of the mind (rather than the unfiltered awakened heartfelt viewpoint of how reality actually is).

sometimes we need to learn to be patient and surrender with the physical world, for its reality unfolds much slower than what one can envision.

a good example is in the world of technology.. there have been so many things that i’ve seen as the next logical evolutionary step in existing technology that i gave up on finding or almost forgot about, as they’ve taken several years before being developed and made readily available.

[and from a higher perspective, everything in the physical world is merely an illusion and part of this game of life we’re playing, and really isn’t all that important that we need to become attached to it. learn to play in and enjoy/embrace the magnificence of life that is already here and now]

good inspiration of how i could see some of my future photo projects looking like:


Morten Rustad – SOUTH AMERICA 8K


Timestorm Films – PATAGONIA 8K


Florian Nick – ALIVE | Canada 4K

it’s great to see simple messages like this reaching more people..


Awakening Through Gratitude


The Art of Experiencing

what you're searching for, what you're looking for, is already where you're looking from

- Moojibaba quoting/paraphrasing St Francis of Assisi


The New American Story | Marianne Williamson | TEDxBerkeley

i’ve decided to sell my van so i can put the funds towards purchasing land where i can build a small home or park a tiny home on. i didn’t end up using it nearly as much as i thought i would. i took it on a couple trips north in the summers, and on some shorter trips around florida (where i live). if you can’t make it down here to pick it up, i’d be happy to drive it anywhere in the united states to deliver it to you (if you cover the cost of gas and airfare back).

i special ordered this van from Ford to be custom built last year. i did a lot of research and went on multiple test drives before deciding on this combo. i’m working on writing a long, detailed article on why i chose this van and can copy/paste the link to it later. it’s a bit of a rare + unique van to have everything it has.

the van has less than 18,000 miles (as of end of december 2018). it does pretty well on gas mileage when loaded with gear + the build. the whole time i’ve had it, i’ve manually calculated the overall mileage to be just over 18 mpg, and have seen as high as 25.7 mpg with cruise control at 50 mph, around 24.5 mpg at 57 mph, and 21 mpg at 65 mph (this includes being stuck in stop-and-go traffic for a little while).

here’s a quick tour of it. i’ll be posting a much longer and more detailed video very soon (its got a couple hours of rendering to go and then will have a 22-24 hour long trip to make it to youtube’s servers). if you’re not interested in any or all of the build as you rather make your own floorplan layout (or use the van for work, a higher end build, etc), i can take everything out if you prefer.


the build itself has the following features:

Nature’s Head Compost Toilet in separate bathroom area
plastic shower “tub” with wooden slats (with many coatings for protection) and drain plumbed in (needs shower curtain + solar shower bag to be hung)
full size dual kitchen sink (installed on real wood countertop) with small faucet that runs off a Whale Gusher Galley Mk3 foot pump (which works quite well and saves on water compared to an electric pump)
queen size bed memory foam mattress (a corner at the feet side has been cut (and can work as a cushion against the wall) to give more room for bathroom)
Dometic CFX-50US CoolFreeze Portable Electric Compressor Cooler Refrigerator/Freezer (holds 50L or 1.8 cu ft, has low power draw, and runs off 12V or 120V)
Marinco Nicro Ventilation 4″ Day/Night Solar Vent model # N20804W (has rechargeable battery and a light)
breathable closet for hanging lots of clothes
removable hanging storage shelf
pantry / storage cabinet with three shelves
always on 12V outlets
string lights
curtains for privacy
lockable storage under bed
26 gallon fresh water tank with rv-type water hatch for filling
access to interior from cab / sliding door / rear doors can be locked off when dropping off van for service, valet, etc. (the longer video will explain how this works and have a couple of photos)
— the only holes drilled into any part of the van were for plumbing + ventilation (and were done by someone with professional plumbing + construction experience). the main structure is held in place at the cargo tie-down points (and some smaller parts are attached via rivnuts using pre-existing holes).

here are all the options / specs that were special ordered / came from Ford:

— 2017 Ford Transit-150 Van XL
Medium Roof
Long Wheelbase (148″)
— 3.7L Ti-VCT V6 Engine (275 H.P.)
— 6-Speed Automatic Overdrive with SelectShift Transmission
— 8600 GVWR
3.73 Limited Slip Axle Ratio
— Oxford White exterior
Premium Package – Van
Exterior Upgrade Package
CNG/Propane Gaseous Engine Prep Package (includes hardened engine intake and exhaust valves and valve seats)
Modified Vehicle Wiring System
Privacy Glass
Rear-Window Defogger
Wheel Well Liners
AutoLamp with Rain-Sensing Wipers
— Rear Bumper – Black
— Spare Tire and Wheel (includes 4 ton jack and tool kit)
Perimeter Alarm
SecuriLock Passive Anti-Theft System (PATS) with Engine Immobilizer
Reverse Sensing System (Reverse Park Aid)
Dual Heavy-Duty Batteries (70 amp-hours each, Absorbed Glass Mat)
Heavy-Duty Alternator
Fixed Rear-Door Glass and Fixed Driver and Passenger Side Cargo-Door Glass
Short-Arm Power Mirrors
— 16-inch Steel Wheels with Full Silver Wheel Cover
— 235/65R16C 121/119 R BSW All-Season Tires
Dual Sliding Doors
— Pewter interior
Level 2 Instrument Cluster
Front and Rear Vinyl Floor Covering (Complete)
Dual Vinyl Sun Visors with Illuminated Vanity Mirror
Cruise Control with Message Center
6 Speakers (4 Front / 2 Rear)
Auxiliary Fuse Box (with High Spec Interface Connector)
High-Capacity Upfitter Switches
AM/FM Stereo with SYNC (with 4″ multi-function display, Single-CD, USB port, steering wheel controls)
Pewter Grey Leather, 10-Way Power Driver and Front-Passenger Seats
— Front License Plate Bracket
— 50 State Emissions
Keys 2 Additional (4 total)
Chrome Grille + Grille Surround + Headlamp trim
— Air Conditioning – Front
— Center Console
— Cargo Hooks
Powerpoints – 12V (3 total)
Power Locks and Windows
Power Steering
— 25.0 Gallon Fuel Tank
Rear View Camera
— Driver/Passenger Air Bags
— Airbags – Side Air Curtains
— 3 Point Safety Belts
— 4-Wheel Disc Brakes w/ABS
AdvanceTrac w/RSC (Roll Stability Control)
Tire Pressure Monitor System
Load Area Protection Package (Full Height)

the cost to order the van alone with everything this one has would be $45k with tax/tag/fees/etc and would take several weeks to be built, a few weeks to be delivered, and then several more weeks to build out (and possibly a good number of weeks to research). this van is available today and would save you months of waiting and working. i’m open to reasonable offers from anyone interested in buying it.

please share with anyone who might be interested.

to purchase the van, please contact me at:



** updates below **

here is a link to the full tour video with some thoughts on why i chose the van:


here’s the long detailed article i’ve written about why i chose the van (and specific options when special ordering a custom built van) and go into lots of details about the build (and compare my experience to the previous truck camper i had), fuel economy experience, etc:


to see all photos, videos, and writing about the van, please visit this link:


i didn’t mention above that the van still has plenty of the factory warranty left from Ford.


*** UPDATE below regarding Price & Value ***

i had someone mention the NADA value, and had a look at the NADA guide online. it didn’t show most of the options my van has (as its only showing the wagon version of the van, not the cargo one that has everything available and built a-la-carte). i looked at KBB’s pricing online and it shows from $28k to over $30k for a similar Transit in good to excellent condition, though with only some of the options. the website is missing a lot of options i have, like the Limited Slip Differential, Dual Heavy-Duty Batteries, Heavy Duty Alternator, CNG/Propane prep package, Windows with Privacy Glass on both sliding doors + rear doors, Level 2 Instrument Cluster (which starting in 2018 is only is available when spending ~$2k on Navigation), High Capacity Upfitter Switches, Auxiliary Fuse box with High Spec Interface Connector, Modified Vehicle Wiring System, Wheel Well Liners, AutoLamp with Rain-sensing wipers, extra set of keys, etc. if you look at all the options that KBB is missing on Ford’s online van builder, you’ll see it’s about $3k worth. even figuring they’re not worth the full value on a pre-owned van, you’re still looking at spending into the $30k’s if you were to find another used van with everything this one has.

as i mentioned above, if you enter everything my van has into Ford’s online builder, you’ll see it’s over $40k, and by the time you add taxes, title, tag, dealer fees, etc, you’d be at $45k to buy a new one out-the-door (or closer to $47k if you wanted the upgraded dashboard instrument cluster as it now only comes with the expensive Navigation feature). yes, you could probably get it for a bit less than that if incentives are available, though it’s still gonna cost a good bit by the time you add everything and it would take you months to special order + weeks/months to build out a new van with everything mine has [it’s very unlikely you’ll find another van with all the options mine has sitting on a dealer lot, new or used]. also keep in mind that my van already has all the options it does, and that adding some things afterwards would cost way more for a Ford dealer to order and professionally install than to special order at time of the factory build.

i forgot to add to the list above that both the power leather seats are heated.

on top of the van price, the components + parts + materials alone for the camper conversion build cost a few thousand dollars, not counting thousands of dollars worth of time and labor to research + build + install. i know the labor part is harder to calculate the exact value, though if you’d do it yourself, figure how much money could you earn working multiple jobs full time from the time you woke up until the time you went to sleep every day for a few weeks or couple months straight, or how much would it cost to hire someone to build a camper van out (and consider how long might you have to wait if its a builder that has a long waiting time, like some that would have months of orders ahead of yours). keep in mind that if hiring a professional builder, they may have minimum build levels and i think some easily start at $20k-$30k just for the build cost (on top of whatever the van you choose costs). the other option to get a camper van would be to purchase a class b rv, though these typically cost at least 2 to 3 times the price of a new van, and can have so much in them that the extra weight will affect performance and mileage (and some models have unhealthy materials that off-gas into the small enclosed space you’re sleeping and living).

the value and cost to purchase a new van with everything mine has and with all the components + parts would be over $50k not counting incentives/deals though also not including any of the weeks of time + labor to build it (which could be a good bit).

i’ll accept $40k for my van with everything in it, and can consider driving it to you (or keeping it somewhere safe here) if you’re unable to come get it right away. i’ll also consider any reasonable offers (somewhere in the $30k’s) for it.

if you want the empty van without any of the components or build, i could take everything out and sell the van to you for $33k.

if you already have a van and are only interested in the components + what i built out in my van, i could remove everything out of my van and sell it all to you for $9k so you can use in your van.


i’ve had some interest, though some potential buyers are out of town and i haven’t received a deposit yet. to sell the van quicker, i’m lowering the price:

for $35k you can have the van with everything in the build
— if that’s too much, i can go down to $32k for the van and take out some or all of the components of the build

i think these prices are quite fair, especially for a van with a very unique configuration of options (that would need to be special ordered to find another one like it with many of the options it has). per KBB, the same size Transit van in similar condition + mileage (but with $3k less in options compared to this one) sells for just over $30k. special ordering a new one with everything this has would cost $45k+ and take months to get. the camper build components + parts would cost a few thousand dollars to buy (not counting weeks or months of time and labor to research, build, and get everything to fit and work together in the small space).

FINANCING — if you don’t have the cash readily available to use or borrow, i can help you come up with creative ideas for financing. for example, when i bought the van, i withdrew funds from CD savings and also did a 0% balance transfer for 18 months that only had a 3% transaction fee. this ended up being less than auto loan interest rates would’ve been.

*** update: LOWER PRICE options ***

$33,500 for the van with everything except the refrigerator, compost toilet, and mattress

$32,000 for the empty van without any of the camper build components or structure

UPDATE 2019.02.19: i received a deposit for the van and the sale is pending until the buyer can make it down here to pick it up. the buyer is only purchasing the van empty so he can build his own setup into it.

** the build structure and parts are available for sale ** i’ve already sold the compost toilet and refrigerator (and will be leaving the vent in the roof of the van). everything else is available for sale, either as the whole setup or as parts. if you get all of the build structure, i can help you install it your Transit if you like. (if you have another van, i could help you figure out what needs to be modified, but can’t guarantee it will all fit in easily)

UPDATE 2019.03.12: i sold the empty van today. the whole build structure is available for sale, or i can sell parts separately like the water pump, water tank, rv-type filling hatch, sink + countertop, shelf, storage cabinet, bath tub with slats (that can hold compost toilet), curtains, hanging closet, etc. i’ve already sold the refrigerator and compost toilet.

A society in which CEOs of companies that actively harm health & well-being of people & planet earn hundreds of millions of $ a year while there are elementary school teachers who need to take second jobs in order to survive, is one beset by an extraordinary perversion of values

- Marianne Williamson

some weeks ago i got a cut or something that wasn’t healing on my pinky finger. sometimes it would start to look better but sometimes it’d get worse or just stay the same. my finger had been better the last few days after going back to using a little miracle gel once or twice a day, though yesterday morning it seemed more swollen / inflamed (and i was previously thinking i’d use the ointment i had been prescribed earlier in the year last night if it wasn’t making progress, and also as a little bit of the rash / allergic reaction seemed to have gone to a couple other fingers in recent days). as it looked worse, i put on the prescription ointment in the morning and evening. i felt it was helping a bit but still not sure as it hadn’t made enormous or miraculous progress.

last night i watched the open-eye light meditation + satsang that michael and suzanne at the flowering heart center stream/webcast. during blessings before the eye meditation, michael mentioned there being no disease the divine can’t take care of. i think he also spoke about sharing miracles one experiences and other things that resonated with where i was at or my experiences. the day before, at the communion with cosmic christ, he spoke about god giving much grace/healing but one needing to be open to receive, and something about being open to medical help rather than just miraculous healing.

i took a shower after the webcast and then watched most of the recording again (as when i watched it live, i was also working on something at the same time). this time while watching it, i also held the big toe on my opposite foot (as my friend francine had suggested, i think a part of jin shin jyutsu healing). afterwards, as i was about to go to sleep, i put on some solfeggio tones to play overnight as i had been doing, and also played the recording of charles’s sacred sanctuary from this past friday evening. i laid in bed and started doing the breathing to the guided meditation. i think i fell asleep a bit into it or was in and out of being awake, but remember feeling my hand sort of move on its own (similar in a sense to when i had done entity removal work at the avatar wizard course i had attended a number of years back, but my whole hand moved this time). it felt like something, the darkness or entity, had been lifted or removed from my finger. i felt like i was healed and the pain in my finger was gone or had lessened, and i was able to move it more than when it was swollen. i don’t remember at what point in the sacred sanctuary this was, or even if it was afterwards as i don’t recall hearing any more of it (though i may have been in and out of consciousness again).

i was grateful and glad to know i’m being healed and the divine is taking care of me. (i was recently thinking of completely giving up on spirituality (and have had thoughts if i should leave the planet if some things in my life didn’t improve), as i’ve been asking the divine to heal me (and help me in other aspects of life), but still dealing with this for weeks or months now, and sometimes it would look like it was getting better but then it’d get worse or not fully heal)

afterwards i didn’t sleep that well, taking a while to fall back asleep, thinking that i should remember to write this but not feeling like getting out of bed (so i’m writing this now in the morning). when i did fall asleep i had a number of dreams that i woke up out of (which i can’t remember the last time i had dreamed), and felt that in the dreams i could be processing/releasing emotions or things that might be hindering me. [as an aside, regarding waking up in dreams, it’s interesting that once i wake up, i don’t really want to go back as i know its just a dream (so i lay there in bed instead, waiting to fall asleep again).. and i sometimes wonder how this also might apply to fully awakening in this dream we call life and if i’ll want to just leave, which i seemed to have experienced a bit during a powerful exercise the first time i did the avatar course.. but i have always stayed here during other powerful transformational/awakening experiences since then]

anyhow, i won’t ramble on too much longer. i’m grateful for my healing. my finger still is a little swollen this morning, but i know it’s all going to be okay and i’ll be fully healed soon. i’ve also seen other signs/blessings that everything is working out in divine order. though at times its been difficult to do, i trust that the divine is taking care of me. thank you god and thank you everyone whom has held me in prayer and helped in any way.




Koolulam’s Cover Of One Day By Matisyahu – One Day קולולם שרים את


Matisyahu – One Day (YouTube Version)

tonight after dinner i went for a walk out to the main entrance of the development here and stopped near the end by east lake road, on the opposite sidewalk/trail this time, and looked at the fountain that was lit on the water. as i was simply looking at the fountain, after remembering back to when i first started photography and took some nice long exposure photos of it, i shot a couple photos on my phone, and then i began to notice that the cars on east lake road seemed to be moving pretty slowly. i was able to easily follow them as they passed by in the distance. they seemed to be going much slower than the 50mph speed limit and they didn’t seem as loud. there were enough of them that had gone by for a while that it couldn’t be that they were actually going that slow. it was that i had slowed down.

i must’ve stepped out of the mind without realizing it. i suppose it’s been difficult to tell if i’m in the mind or not as the mind has been pretty quiet or silent for years and i can step out of the thoughts or stop them most of the time. perhaps, although the mind is usually quiet, there’s still a sense or urge to be wanting to move forward, or some other subtle anxiety or fear i’m feeling that’s preventing me from relaxing into the stillness of the moment. it reminded me a bit of when i stepped into feeling during one of the avatar courses and how beautiful it was. i wish i had written this right after or when i was still at the fountain as now i’m not feeling the words that were coming to me at the time. it was a subtle feeling, like being a little high, yet powerful. i recall having a similar feeling in the sense of the sounds of the cars passing by seeming distant the first time i was paddleboarding on the intracoastal and was slowly paddling my way back from an island to the causeway.. it was a bit different then as i recall the sounds seemed loud yet they were far away. i’m not sure that i perceived the cars moving slowly or not that time, though it was still nice to experience a slight shift in perception. it may have been getting a bit cold as the sun was going down if i recall and it was in the cooler part of the year. tonight it was a little cool as it was dark, though i just accepted it and experienced and remembered how beautiful it was to walk down the sidewalk and experience the way the trees, plants, and fountain were lit at night. since most of the area was fairly dark and only some parts were lit, it makes sense that my attention was easily focused on the sight and sounds of the water spraying up into the air. through this, i must’ve naturally stepped out of the mind and into feeling the here and now. part of my back had started hurting this morning though that was gone when i was out there. and i don’t recall feeling the pains or sensations in my hands as they’re healing. the feelings and thoughts about the healing taking so long were gone, as were the thoughts and feelings about potentially not doing as well as i could on my investments. i simply was present there. [i think i had also let go of a bit of the concern of looking weird walking with my hand up to prevent swelling] afterwards on the walk back to the house, after the mind had started thinking a bit about the whole experience, i saw an airplane passing by overhead and it seemed to be going slower than normal too.

it was a bit of a miracle to have this unexpected experience. some may think of it as a little bit of an awakened state though it feels more of a natural state we can live in often or on a regular basis. it was subtle yet beautiful to just feel life in the moment. there wasn’t anything outstanding about it.. i didn’t have to go chasing after some goal or traveling to some new distant land.. i just simply discovered what was already here in a new way, yet once again. and its likely none of the external desires or goals would’ve provided such a simple yet profound experience. it was funny that it ocurred around the same spot as yesterday when i went for a walk and felt i slipped into the present moment and realized that the walk seemed much longer than it actually was. it’s also funny that the fountain is less than a couple hundred feet behind the house yet i have to walk half a mile to go down the block and then out the main entrance to get there. and that i normally don’t hear the fountain and forget its there from the house as i typically just hear the traffic. it’s quite funny how close yet how far away it is. and also quite funny how so many of us are chasing after bigger, better, faster, more, when slowing down and relaxing into the moment yields such a simple yet more profound and deeper experience than the never-ending chase. the world around us truly is beautiful when we learn to perceive it more fully.