i think one of the things i really liked about doing really long exposures or time-lapses at night was being present. sitting, waiting for the camera to expose the images would give me a lot of time to just be there and experience being there. i recall feeling this sometimes during the day when doing time-lapses and just sitting waiting, or when simply waiting for the sun to set when i would get to the causeway or park early. it was nice to just hang out and be in a natural place without thinking i needed to photograph every single moment. it’s so much better to create when feeling inspired rather than trying to force it when wanting to do a specific project. being somewhere at night is nice as its cooler and there’s usually not very much light in the natural places i go to (or even in places that are more well lit), so it’s easier to relax and focus on what i do see. perhaps a part of it is that its also quieter with less people out. i’m not sure all the exact specifics.. i should stop trying to figure it out. it’s all about just relaxing and being in the moment. i’ve experienced this perception even when walking on a bright sunny day, so it’s not all about the external conditions.. it’s about the internal feeling. the external environment can help one feel a certain way, though one can shift how one feels regardless of any external conditions.. it might take a little more effort and work if one is resisting a lot of what one is feeling or experiencing in the world, though it can be done. i’m glad i came out here to do this shot tonight. i felt inspired earlier to do so when i was laying in the grass. it’s not the most exciting shot though i’ll put it with other ones i shoot in a time-lapse and i’m sure it’ll add to the interest of it.
i think what i’m enjoying most about my experience today going to lay on the grass and coming out here is that its bringing me back to aspects of the old me that i had forgotten.. i used to be more spontaneous and free and very often feel inspired to create lots of photographs.. i’d also really embrace the experience of life. somehow over the past couple/few years i strayed away from this. i’ve been wanting to make changes in my life so i could have more fun and enjoy it more again. i think part of the issue i’ve faced was in having my own condo i’ve really felt the struggle to make money to be able to pay for it.. i really don’t like owing anyone anything, especially not when it’s tied to some legal agreement where they could take my home if i didn’t pay. a long time ago, even though i did need money for rent or food or something, i still managed to be free. i was more care free and wasn’t attached to outcome. sometimes i did have less to worry about, less responsibility or concern, though i still sometimes managed to let go of attachment and be free. i think it helped when i either had a group of friends who were easy-going or knew me and appreciated me as i was, or when i had a girlfriend who enjoyed being spontaneous and going on an adventure. one of the most enjoyable aspects of life is just having fun and being in the moment with someone else. it’s something i’ve missed for a long time as i either lost touch with or let go of a lot of people from my past. having nobody and feeling stuck inside a condo that i didn’t fully appreciate really affected me. as i learn to surrender and enjoy my life more, i’ll really be able to embrace wherever i am, regardless of whether or not i’m with someone else or not. yes, it’d certainly be nice to hang out with someone whom i have a meaningful connection with, though i can still appreciate and enjoy my own life.
these recent months (and years) i’ve been so busy working on my photography projects that i haven’t really just sat down and enjoyed life. and as i did the projects and wasn’t really enjoying them for very long after they were complete, it began to feel quite meaningless doing them. when that’s all i was doing, my whole life began to feel meaningless. i really wondered what i was doing with it and often felt lonely and bored. i think sometimes the photo projects were just a means to satisfy that boredom, in an attempt to give my life some meaning or purpose, though it never quite worked as well as it could’ve. it’d only be a very temporary satisfaction.. it’d feel exciting to create a new technique and be out shooting that way, though it quickly lost its excitement after doing it for a little while or completing the project. sometimes it began to feel like work i had to do to complete it and it was no longer fun. i think part of the issue was that i was only going to the same parks and places in the area here. they quickly lost their excitement as it was the same places i was just photographing in new ways. it feels so much more exciting and thrilling to be traveling and exploring someplace new, or some place i hadn’t been to in a while. i know i’m not the only one to experience some of these things and others have written about similar feelings. places and experiences can become mundane if they’re repeated over and over, especially when there is no real purpose or the purpose is only a means or failed attempt to fulfill a deeper longing.
yesterday, or the day before, i deleted thousands (or tens of thousands) of dollars worth of ‘success’ audio programs i had purchased when i was attempting to start business a long time ago. i also deleted the majority of audio files i had downloaded or copied off old cds from a very long time ago. it feels good to purge and let go of things i no longer need. we often hang on to things (digital, physical, mental, or emotional) thinking maybe we’ll need them one day or want to experience them again, though if we look at when was the last time we actually used them (or did we ever use them), we’ll realize that the actual likelihood we’d use them is slim to none. i also deleted old video files i either downloaded or copied off dvds. all together, i purged over half a terabyte of data. it’s funny to look at how much time and effort i wasted downloading and copying the data, thinking maybe i’ll need it some day. i think the large majority of what i deleted i never played once. it felt good to let it go, knowing i didn’t need it. i look at even recently how i’ve downloaded some audio programs i’ve found on the web so i would have them for someday rather than just play it online and see if i even like it. most of them i never listened to though knowing i had them made me feel or think i was okay and could just listen to them whenever. however, whenever never came. it wasn’t a beneficial way of looking at it. now, looking at things more from the perspective of the experience, i can choose to see it in a way that i no longer need to have it or hang on to it. and i don’t have to be on the total opposite extreme about it either.. if i end up liking something, i can choose to keep just those things. i recently read an article talking about de-cluttering.. i think they quoted someone and it basically said to look at or hold each thing you have and if it doesn’t bring you joy, get rid of it. that’s such a great way to look at it. i don’t need to think about the usability or potential of it.. it’s simply going by the feeling it brings. this can be applied to any aspect of life. rather than overthinking things, simply if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it, and if it does feel good, do it. a friend of mine who’s a transformational coach taught me about living from the ‘feel good’.. it’s simply stepping into the feel good and choosing from that place. it’s much simpler to live from feeling, or the heart, than the mind. the mind can take one in all sorts of directions and often contradict itself, though the heart, soul, and inspiration can guide in a much more effective manner. just like right now.. i wanted to write more and had other areas i wanted to look at, though i’m feeling a little tired and the camera’s been going for long enough to get a decent shot for the time-lapse, so i’m gonna head back home instead of try to force more words out at the moment.
as i was leaving the causeway, the thought of not caring came to mind. by not caring i mean in not being attached to outcome, not worrying so much about the little things, and not caring what others think or expect of you. i used to live more freely from this place of not caring. i didn’t really worry so much about certain things and would just go with the flow or what felt right. i’m sure there was some degree of caring, i don’t remember exactly, it’s been many years now.. though at some point i just got to not care or worry so much and would just enjoy the moment and the experience of life. lately i see how i’ve been trying to control things by wanting things to be a certain way or making things happen a certain way or whatnot.. this hasn’t served me as i’ve only put limitations on myself by doing so. i could write about lots of examples that i was thinking on my drive home, though i won’t go into them all as i’m not feeling them right now. as i surrender attachment to outcome or needing things to be a certain way (or seeking perfection in a sense), i’ll be able to flow more with life. trusting things are going to work out works a lot better than trying to force things to go a certain way. it’s much less stressful to let the universe handle everything rather than take it all into your own hands. the more you do this, the more you’ll see it just naturally works out anyhow (and all that time and energy you wasted was of your own making and truly unnecessary).
it feels good to just be in the moment. i’m sitting here in my condo and realizing this is okay right now. it may not be perfect though right now in this moment it’s okay. learning to relax and take it easy makes a huge difference in life. you don’t need to make everything so difficult. take time for yourself and enjoy the experience. relax. love life.
decided to do some last shots with my gopro before selling it.. funny that literally as i was dropping it off to be shipped out to the buyer gopro announced the new model
how beautiful it was to simply lay in the grass for a short while on this sunny day. it was cooler today than it has been lately. in the shade, 71 degrees felt a little cold though after walking for a little bit to the lake nearby, it felt nice to just lay down in the sun. at first i thought i’d just walk around the lake or partially around and sit on a bench and then go back home. something told me to go to the grass. it was subtle, though my attention was drawn to it, almost like it was calling to me. at first i resisted, then decided sure, why not. i let go of thinking of what others might think of me just laying down there and just surrendered into the moment. looking up at the deep blue sky, i felt more present and relaxed. a couple bugs landed on me though i didn’t let them bother me too much and then they went away after a bit. the energy of the the brilliant sun and earth below me was grounding. i felt better than i did earlier sitting inside my condo bored trying to think of what to do or resisting being there. something so simple can be so energizing. i feel rejuvenated. just walking toward the pond i felt a little more present or relaxed as i noticed the trees around me and wasn’t thinking so much. relaxing and being present is one of the most beneficial things one can do in life. remember to take some time for yourself to simply be present and do something that calms you. while staring up at the bright blue sky above, i began to see little bits of something in the air.. i had experienced this long before. it felt like i was seeing little bits of energy moving about. i also noticed the little bugs in the air though when i focused in a certain way and noticed the energy, it felt different. it was like it was in a slightly different dimension or plane or something. while laying there i got the idea of driving down to the causeway to shoot a time-lapse of the stars tonight. i had thought of that earlier though wasn’t quite feeling it and was thinking maybe i can do that later as i’ve been shooting footage to create monthly time-lapses and this wasn’t a new month yet and i had also thought of maybe wanting to post still images to instagram of some of the shots along the way.. when you let go of the mind and it’s overthinking or needing things to be a certain way, things flow much more simply. while laying there, i felt like it’d be good to go tonight. i don’t need to wait, and it’d be good to just hang out there while the camera is running and see how cool it gets or how it is to hang out there for a while at night (as i’ve thought of doing van-life next year, and perhaps selling my condo as i may not be able to park it here and living out of the van for a while, and it’d be good to feel what it’d be like to spend more time in nature). so much of the time i spend in nature is usually doing something.. either riding my bike mostly for exercise or walking around to photograph. it was nice to just be present and just be, rather than have to do. it was so calming. it reminded me of how i would sometimes be in the past, though i had lately been so caught up in needing to do. simply being or feeling is so much better than always doing. i looked up at the tree near me and thought what if i wanted to photograph it because it felt so nice and i wanted to capture the moment.. then i thought i could carry a camera and just photograph when i feel inspired but not feel the need to do so all the time, and i also thought i could simply just be and enjoy it without photographing it. there’s no need to capture everything. sometimes it feels like it comes out of the fear of what if that moment never comes again or something like that, though living from a place of being, beautiful moments will always unfold. then the mind also thinks what about wanting to share this beautiful experience with someone else.. but then i could see how many thousands of beautiful images i’ve already created and realize i don’t necessarily need any more. shift how you see aspects of your everyday life, and you’ll see how beautiful the world becomes as you transform. this whole illusion really is a mere byproduct of what we’re feeling.. if we’re not liking our experience or want to change it, all we simply need to do is change our perspective and our perception of it will change what we’re seeing. and sometimes all we need is to take a walk out to nature and fully embrace it and allow ourselves to relax so we can really experience being there rather than thinking or feeling other things we may have been going through. oh, and i almost forgot to add that the whole walk to the lake nearby was inspired.. i walked to get the mail and wasn’t thinking i’d go out to the lake. after checking the mail, i felt like going for a walk to the edge of the pond and followed that feeling. i hadn’t locked the deadbolt on my door though quickly forgot about that and didn’t let that bother me as i thought i’d only be gone for a minute, though when i got there, feeling how nice it was but not knowing what to do, i thought maybe i’d walk around or to the bench on the other side or something.. as i started to make my way around the lake, i then was drawn to the grass after noticing how beautiful it was out and calm i was being out there. simple exploring is so fun and calming. and inspiration is always there for us if we choose to tune into it.
Let Us Make It Happen
Why So Much Suffering in the World? – Sadhguru
What is Enlightenment? Sadhguru
Different levels of Oneness and Enlightenment. Sadhguru
Have You Ever Met Any Himalayan Teachers? (Part 1) Sadhguru
Have You Ever Met Any Himalayan Teachers? (Part 2) Sadhguru
Are Dreams and Life just an illusion? Sadhguru
Is time travel possible? Sadhguru
What is the Third Eye? Sadhguru
Are Psychic Powers and Telepathy Real? Dr. Devi Shetty with Sadhguru
Life is Celebration – Sadhguru
Ancient Wisdom in Modern Times – Deepak Chopra and Sadhguru, moderated by Ms. Chandrika Tandon
Sadhguru – Nature of “The INNER SELF” and important Questions on Yoga
Of Love and Life – Juhi Chawla In Conversation with Sadhguru