2018 October

some weeks ago i got a cut or something that wasn’t healing on my pinky finger. sometimes it would start to look better but sometimes it’d get worse or just stay the same. my finger had been better the last few days after going back to using a little miracle gel once or twice a day, though yesterday morning it seemed more swollen / inflamed (and i was previously thinking i’d use the ointment i had been prescribed earlier in the year last night if it wasn’t making progress, and also as a little bit of the rash / allergic reaction seemed to have gone to a couple other fingers in recent days). as it looked worse, i put on the prescription ointment in the morning and evening. i felt it was helping a bit but still not sure as it hadn’t made enormous or miraculous progress.

last night i watched the open-eye light meditation + satsang that michael and suzanne at the flowering heart center stream/webcast. during blessings before the eye meditation, michael mentioned there being no disease the divine can’t take care of. i think he also spoke about sharing miracles one experiences and other things that resonated with where i was at or my experiences. the day before, at the communion with cosmic christ, he spoke about god giving much grace/healing but one needing to be open to receive, and something about being open to medical help rather than just miraculous healing.

i took a shower after the webcast and then watched most of the recording again (as when i watched it live, i was also working on something at the same time). this time while watching it, i also held the big toe on my opposite foot (as my friend francine had suggested, i think a part of jin shin jyutsu healing). afterwards, as i was about to go to sleep, i put on some solfeggio tones to play overnight as i had been doing, and also played the recording of charles’s sacred sanctuary from this past friday evening. i laid in bed and started doing the breathing to the guided meditation. i think i fell asleep a bit into it or was in and out of being awake, but remember feeling my hand sort of move on its own (similar in a sense to when i had done entity removal work at the avatar wizard course i had attended a number of years back, but my whole hand moved this time). it felt like something, the darkness or entity, had been lifted or removed from my finger. i felt like i was healed and the pain in my finger was gone or had lessened, and i was able to move it more than when it was swollen. i don’t remember at what point in the sacred sanctuary this was, or even if it was afterwards as i don’t recall hearing any more of it (though i may have been in and out of consciousness again).

i was grateful and glad to know i’m being healed and the divine is taking care of me. (i was recently thinking of completely giving up on spirituality (and have had thoughts if i should leave the planet if some things in my life didn’t improve), as i’ve been asking the divine to heal me (and help me in other aspects of life), but still dealing with this for weeks or months now, and sometimes it would look like it was getting better but then it’d get worse or not fully heal)

afterwards i didn’t sleep that well, taking a while to fall back asleep, thinking that i should remember to write this but not feeling like getting out of bed (so i’m writing this now in the morning). when i did fall asleep i had a number of dreams that i woke up out of (which i can’t remember the last time i had dreamed), and felt that in the dreams i could be processing/releasing emotions or things that might be hindering me. [as an aside, regarding waking up in dreams, it’s interesting that once i wake up, i don’t really want to go back as i know its just a dream (so i lay there in bed instead, waiting to fall asleep again).. and i sometimes wonder how this also might apply to fully awakening in this dream we call life and if i’ll want to just leave, which i seemed to have experienced a bit during a powerful exercise the first time i did the avatar course.. but i have always stayed here during other powerful transformational/awakening experiences since then]

anyhow, i won’t ramble on too much longer. i’m grateful for my healing. my finger still is a little swollen this morning, but i know it’s all going to be okay and i’ll be fully healed soon. i’ve also seen other signs/blessings that everything is working out in divine order. though at times its been difficult to do, i trust that the divine is taking care of me. thank you god and thank you everyone whom has held me in prayer and helped in any way.