i just sold my van yesterday, here’s a map of everywhere i drove in the time i had it

i met a couple old friends at the arboretum this past saturday.  when i was surrounded by nature waiting for them that morning, i remembered why i got the van.  having a tiny home with me whenever i go exploring, especially to beautiful places, is certainly nice.  it may be small, though being able to go on more adventures and longer journeys is pretty awesome.  i've been so busy lately that i've barely taken it out wandering to new places.  sometimes you just gotta get up and go regardless of whether everything is ready or not.

after my friends left, i took a nap in the van and spent the rest of the afternoon in the arboretum.  it was great to have a comfy bed with me rather than having to drive to one when i was tired.  near the end of the day, it started raining and i got to experience how nice it was to be inside the van and simply be able to hop into the driver's seat without having to run around outside and get wet (like i would've had to do when in my truck camper).

i spent the night in the parking lot at my friend's office, which wasn't too exciting but a place nearby i could stay undisturbed.  sunday morning i decided to go back to the arboretum and spent the whole day there, again until when it closed at dusk.  i drove to a quiet spot that was the furthest from the nearby highways and spent a lot of the day in the van with all the doors open, letting a breeze pass through most of the time.  it was nice to experience having a tiny home in the middle of nature.  i look forward to when i have my own land and a larger tiny home in nature for when i'm not traveling.

#infrared #nature #park #homeiswhereyouparkit #vanlife #campervan #ford #transit #van #fordtransit #tinyhome #lifeontheroad #homeonwheels #trees #travel #journey #arboretum #plants #ir #blackandwhite #bw #adventure #exploremore #exploretocreate #freedomvessel #getoutside #liveoutdoors #liveyouradventure #nomadiclife #optoutside
went to the arboretum this past sunday after installing the roof vent on my van. gratefully the dark clouds not too far in the distance stayed away and it didn't rain when i had an open hole on the roof for a while.
#nature #park #homeiswhereyouparkit #vanlife #campervan #ford #transit #van #fordtransit #tinyhome #lifeontheroad #homeonwheels #travel #journey #360x180 #stereographicprojection #littleplanet #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #360degree #littleworld #tinyplanet #poleaerialphotography #elevatedphotography #mastphotography #aerial #fromabove #sunset #miracle

it’s nice that the last couple years when i’ve gone up to chicagoland in november, that i’ve felt like seeing snow and have had the first snow of the season show up during the week or so i’ve been in town. as you can see in the video, the morning commute in and evening commute out of the city weren’t exactly the most pleasant. it’s hard to fathom why so many people put themselves through that every single day, especially with the long winters up there. i was a bit upset that my friend didn’t pay me for the time i was up there evaluating a new business opportunity for him (and he never got me any work out of it), though i’m grateful i don’t have to be dealing with that sort of traffic on an everyday basis. i enjoy the long commute i have from one bedroom to the other :) i’m also grateful that i got invited to multiple thanksgiving dinners while i was in town. it was really nice to spend time with different friends while i was in town in the cold winter.

back to miracles.. haven’t typed them up in what seems like a little while, though its probably really only been 2-3 days. time can be funny like that. let’s see which ones i can remember. today i experienced one this morning. my friend was renting a car for me to go drive to a lot of his completed job-sites to photograph the homes. we went to go pick it up and i forget exactly what the guys said there, though maybe they asked if the basic car was okay or something. i mentioned something with a moonroof would be preferable if they had it for the same price. they said they had a ford f150 though it costed more. i said it didn’t really matter, anything would be fine (though i wouldn’t have minded the truck.. it felt like it’d be nice when they said they had it). a couple/few minutes later as they were finishing up the rental process, my friend asked how much more the f150 would be, and they said they could do it for the same price, they just had to clean it quickly. we went with it. i waited a little bit for them to clean it, and off i was.

a nice bonus was that it had navigation built right into the touchscreen in the truck. i didn’t even think of this and was figuring i’d have to use the gps on my phone to get around to all the towns. it was much, much nicer not to have to look at the small screen on my phone or figure out how to rig it where i could see it easily while driving or have to be charging it as using gps all day would’ve drained it. it drove nicely and the seat was comfortable (which was helpful while spending around 8 hours driving today). when i would get to a location, i turned off the truck and punched in the next address into the gps to get it ready before taking the photos. at first, it wasn’t remembering the address when i got back in and turned the truck on which wasn’t as helpful. after a few of them, i clicked it a little different to actually start the navigation while the truck was off and then when i would get back in and turn it back on, it would remember. the key fob worked nicely as i could keep it in my pocket and very easily touch the button on the handle to lock it as i was walking out and it would unlock as i placed my hand on the handle to open it. these thing seem quite simple and are becoming more normal in cars, though i likely wouldn’t have had these features if i just got the standard car instead of the free upgrade to the truck. these saved a lot of time and effort when driving to 27 different locations today. the driving and photographs took longer than expected though it went pretty smoothly. there was some traffic though it wasn’t extremely bad, and i was only stopped once by one of the homeowners/residents (and it only took a few seconds to say why i was taking photos and there was no issue).

the moonroof came in handy for a couple of photos in the city where i needed extra height — i thought of standing on the bed of the truck though stood on the seat or center console and shot a couple of times from there. one of the first buildings in the city had a car blocking the view and as i was leaving to go to the next location, something told me to go back and try standing on the bed of the truck or out the moonroof to get a better angle. as i pulled up and parked across the street from it, i saw someone walking out of the home and into the car. i waited a few seconds and the view was clear. i stood out the moonroof and got a much better shot than i did from standing on the curb a couple/few minutes before. it was perfect timing and divine guidance!

after taking all the photographs for today, i went to the loop and wasn’t really feeling like paying for parking and the thought crossed my mind of finding free parking though i didn’t think too much about it. i got down to the loop and was heading south. i was seeing lots of paid parking. i thought something like maybe down one of the side streets a long walk away i’d find free parking. i was already late and didn’t want to walk too much further. after driving just over a block past where i was going, i turned right and saw some signs saying 15 or 30 minute standing zone. the 30 minute zone ended at 7 though was full of cars, and the 15 minute zone ended at 8 and still had some room available. it was around 7:40 or almost 7:45. i drove around the block to see what else i’d find and went back to that spot not finding anything else. i read the sign more carefully and it didn’t have any indication of what happened after 7 or 8 and there were cars parked after 7 in the 30 minute zone. i drove to go check out one other area i noticed someone pulling out of down the block though it ended up being a no parking zone. i came back around to the 15 minute zone and the empty space was still there waiting for me. i pulled in close to the curb and put the flashers on the truck as it was still a few minutes before 8 and walked off. almost 3 hours later when i was heading back to the truck, the mind had a brief thought of what if there was some issue with a ticket or it being towed. i had sent white light to the truck and asked for no issues when i had left it, though still had the thought. i was pretty sure it’d be fine, though asked the divine again for it to be okay, and surrendered to whatever the outcome would be. i turned the corner and saw some flashing lights and thanked the divine. i had wondered if the truck would start having the lights flashing for so long. i figured it’d be okay as it was only the flashers though when i first got in and pushed the start button it didn’t start, though the seat stared to move into position and the screen came on and all. i pushed the button again to turn it off and then again to start it, and it started that time. there was no traffic and i made it from the loop to lombard very quickly, probably was just half an hour.

it’s really nice when everything flows smoothly. it feels like this happens more and more often the more we strengthen our connection to the divine by releasing blocks or resistance that was previously affecting the connection. another little piece of today that worked out nicely was that i saw a sign for an oasis when heading south on the interstate into the city. there was a sign indicating another oasis was 20 miles ahead. i didn’t know how far away i was from the city. i thought that still might be on my way in since i was pretty far north, only around a mile from the wisconsin border. though i felt that it’d be good to stop at this one. i stopped and wasn’t really expecting a great selection of food, though there happened to be a mediterranean or middle-eastern place that had a veggie falafel wrap. after leaving the oasis, there wasn’t another one on the route the gps took me and the beginning of the traffic was shortly afterwards too. it was all in perfect divine order. also, i hadn’t parked the truck that well and wasn’t leaving much room for the car to the right to get out, though i figured i wasn’t going to be but a couple minutes. after going to the bathroom and taking a couple quick shots for a time-lapse video out the oasis windows, i saw the falafel place and it didn’t take that long. when i got back to the truck, the car next to me was still there. i saw someone ahead of me walking in that direction though they kept going further back to the other parking area, so it seems whoever parked there was still inside the oasis and (hopefully) i didn’t affect them by not parking straight in the spot.

it seems life is simply a continuous flow of unfolding miracles when we learn and choose to see it as such.

today’s miracle

at my friend’s office, i had set up a bunch of tv screens to act as status screens/boards showing calendars, job statuses, and other data from the custom dashboard system i built for him to run the company. i re-did the technology behind the way they worked and had one screen that had a corrupt memory card. i had tried to fix it yesterday or the day before, though it wasn’t working this morning when i got in. i was trying all sorts of things to get it to work, including using some really old memory cards we still had here and clearing out a card and installing the latest version of the operating system on it. some things had changed in the latest OS and it wasn’t working, so i went back to seeing if one of the old cards would work. i found one that booted though it had the old network settings on it and due to the way it was set up, i wasn’t able to get into it, even with a keyboard physically plugged into it. i came up with a way to hack my way in by modifying a script on the part of the card i had access to via a different computer. i was able to get the latest settings and my newest scripts on it. it seemed to be working though upon rebooting after the update, it was displaying all sorts of error messages.. it appeared that the memory card was corrupted. the cards would sometime get corrupted if the micro computer lost power because the tv was bumped into or the usb power cable was moved by accident. it didn’t make sense that it stopped working on its own this time, as it had rebooted without me physically touching it. i let it sit for a little bit to see what it was doing, and was starting to accept the possibility that i might not be done yet nor have an immediate solution for it (and i was wanting to finish before taking a break). something told me to go unplug the power and plug it back in to restart it. as i was doing so, the thought something along the lines of maybe needing a miracle or it not making sense for it to be the way it was crossed my mind (though i surrendered and wasn’t attached to whether it worked or not by that point). i plugged it back in and it just started to boot up normally. now, after a while, it’s still running properly without any other issues.

open yourself up to miracles and you will see them happen and unfold before your eyes. miracles can be a natural and everyday occurrence if we allow them to be. believe its possible and you’ll experience it. sometimes for me its been more difficult to believe it in the world of technology as i have a lot of experience and knowledge in technology, though allowing for the possibility of a miracle creates the space in which it can occur. this reminds me of when Queenie put the Sri Murti on the computers and mixer at the P&G to keep everything running smoothly, or when i was copying the weekend video from an external hard drive to the laptop.. the file transfer had stopped a couple of times for no apparent reason and when i put my hands around it and sent it energy or white light, it started working again.

it’s really amazing and inspiring how simply miracles can happen when we’re open to them. we don’t even need any big ritual or anything.. just know its possible, or connect with the presence and ask for it, and it will happen. often the mind wants to make things difficult in life by thinking it needs to struggle or try hard to make something happen. life can be much more effortless when we allow for help from the divine. we don’t have to do everything ourselves. miracles can be a very natural part of life. and it doesn’t have to make sense how something strange happened.

monday i went to the store with my friend to help him carry a large toolchest he was purchasing. he had paid and we were waiting for them to get a forklift to take it off the shelves. it had been a little while and we were walking around the store looking at other things. something brought us down to one of the end aisles. after looking at something there, we walked a few feet and right there on one of the flat carts was the toolchest waiting for us. no one had come to find us to tell us it was ready and we didn’t hear the forklift running. it seemed a bit strange at the moment.. perhaps they got it from somewhere else or something, though it didn’t really matter. we were ready to go and it was there waiting for us. the cashier saw us coming towards the exit and told us we were all set and we left.

on saturday afternoon, after i was helping my friend move for a couple of days, i took a shower and it was a miracle that i really wasn’t feeling sore (nor really tired) afterwards. i had woken up that morning feeling a bit sore though at dinner afterwards i realized it was gone and i wasn’t feeling it at all.

simple miracles can happen every day. look for them and you’ll continue to find them.

[2016.05.23] miracles

this weekend at the p&g we were encouraged to share miracles with others. tonight at the flowering heart center in downer’s grove, we each shared a miracle we experienced today or recently. i wasn’t sure about sharing the little miracle i experienced but after i did others seemed to be inspired by it, so i’ve recorded more of the details here. it’s probably a little bit scatterred as i tried to remember exactly what happened. it’s funny how the details can get lost later compared to when we’re living and feeling and experiencing it in the moment.

in the audio recording, i forgot to say that after i made it back to my friend’s office, i got back right at the very same time someone who worked for him was at the office. i had connected with him on the phone a few weeks ago sharing some spiritual perspectives and we had a good conversation. today when we both ‘randomly’ showed up at the same time, he was surprised to see me there, not knowing i was going to be in town. i also found out he no longer worked for my friend. he said he was interested in going to the flowering heart center and couldn’t make it tonight but said he could go wednesday and meet beforehand. we may have never seen each other during the few weeks i’m up here if the divine hadn’t worked out everything for us to both show up there at the same exact time.

i also forgot to mention that when i did hit the gas to start the van, it didn’t idle and stalled right away. the next time we got it started, i had to hold the gas pedal down for a couple minutes just to keep it running. it wasn’t looking too good for the van being able to go anywhere, though the divine wanted it to all work out and it did. sometimes we just gotta let go, surrender, and trust that a higher power is orchestrating all of the pieces and know that it’s all in perfect, divine order. it was beautiful to hear the miracles that others in the community had experienced.

letting go of control will bring you great peace in your life

#lightning #storm last Monday #night after deeksha #clouds #sky
#lightning #storm last Monday #night after deeksha
#aerial #flying #fromabove #clouds #nature #sky
#chicago #city #urban #fromabove #aerial #airplane #highway #road #skyline
#flying #airplane #fromabove #trains #city #urban #chicago #aerial

to feel is to heal

#city #urban #skyline #lights #dusk
#city #clouds #buildings #urban #goldenhour
(shot by Margaret, after the Oneness Awakening Course)
(shot by Margaret, after the Oneness Awakening Course)
#park #morning
#360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricoh #theta #360 #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #nature #plants #trees #water #lake #park #trail #preserve #goldenhour
#nature #preserve #park #walk #goldenhour #light #clouds #lake #powerlines #plants
#360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricoh #theta #360 #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #nature #preserve #park #walk
thanks to divine guidance, perfect timing by @cmzalokar and a bit of spontaneity, I unexpectedly ended up here this morning creating this image
#360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricoh #theta #360 #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #nature #preserve #trees #park #trail #walk
#sunset #sky #colors #dusk
#lake #park
#storm #clouds #yesterday #water #golfcourse
#ricoh #theta #360 #degree #360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #trees #nature #preserve #park #walk #trail
#ricoh #theta #360 #degree #360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #trees #nature #park
#nature #preserve
#nature #preserve #prairie #trees #field #walk #water

life truly is beautiful. the greatest thing one can do for oneself is heal emotionally and grow spiritually. our limited perspective is what is preventing us from seeing the true depth of life.

it was great to be able to attend the Amma program in chicagoland this year. i didn’t make it last year, and don’t recall if i made it the year before. it’s beautiful to see everything she and her NGO, Embracing the World, have done to help others. and it’s amazing to see how long she sits giving hugs to everyone. the energy is great and its nice how many chants, pujas, food, meditations, speeches, etc there are during the program.

one of the most amazing aspects of the program is the energy flowing through that everyone is feeling. consciousness moves quickly when in the presence of higher energy, or a being at such a place. i could see aspects of myself being reflected in others i saw or interacted with throughout the program. for example, the first day i was feeling a bit disconnected (or sitting in a charge or feeling), and i saw how most of my friends that i hadn’t seen in a while seemed to have to leave or were busy with something or other, and we weren’t really able to connect or chat that much. some things i noticed were more subtle, just how others moved or their subtle expressions, and i noticed how these were aligned with what i was feeling and experiencing at the time. i know that i’ve certainly felt that i could naturally be a mirror for others to see what they’re facing without even trying.. perhaps its just that i’m naturally feeling what they’re feeling/facing and that’s whats flowing through me (to give them a chance to see it in a new way so they can let it go). in the great energy and presence at the Amma program, it seemed like so many must’ve been in tune with feeling what each other were feeling that i was seeing this happening in them too (or perhaps they didn’t even know they were feeling/reflecting it and it was just the divine showing it to me through them). i know i’ve seen this happen through others in the past too.. perhaps a part of it was also that i was more in tune with what others were feeling that i was able to see the subtle aspects more clearly as well. i won’t get lost in exploring exactly what was happening, though it was nice to be able to experience it happening, despite sometimes it not being as pleasant, such as when i felt i wasn’t connecting with others.

it was nice to see friends from the flowering heart center and spiritual communities up here that i hadn’t seen since last year. i look forward to seeing some of them at the weekly gatherings when i’m here. its nice to attend different events and see familiar faces, and be able to connect a bit.

its also nice to make new connections. its funny to see how what i was feeling was affecting my ability to make new connections as well. i had some resistance or something that was preventing me from just saying hi and connecting with others. another thing i noticed is that how when surrendering and not being attached to outcome, such as wanting to have a nice conversation, things can just flow naturally and effortlessly and will happen when you don’t expect them to. on the second day i volunteered to do seva work to clean up after a puja. i didn’t think too much about how the puja would be.. after the clean up i went for a walk and sat under a tree for a little while. everything just felt more peaceful. my mind is usually quiet though there may be some underlying feeling still there. after the puja, that underlying feeling wasn’t there and everything just felt a little more relaxed and quiet. after sitting for a while, i walked into the main hall to get a seat before the evening program would begin. i didn’t think too much about where i’d sit or when i should go in or anything. i just went in when i felt was the time to get up and walk over there. i was directed by those helping with seating and the seat i was directed to was right in the very middle of the room, in the front row of one of the middle sections, so i had a clear view of where Amma would be in the front of the hall. it seemed this was the last seat left in this row as others had left something on the ones to my right and a few others were sitting to my left. a while later, just before the program was about to begin, i saw a girl (that i had stood right behind in the lunch line) walking down the aisle and i think we smiled a little at each other. (when i noticed her in the lunch line ealier that day, perhaps i had a thought that it’d be nice to connect with her.. i don’t recall for sure) she sat next to me and i wondered what to say. a few moments later i asked if she had seen Amma before. i learned that she had just spent a year at Amma’s ashram in India and was just back to get a new visa so she could spend a couple more years over there taking classes. she seemed pretty blissed out from the whole experience as a new devotee. i recall her saying that when she went to the ashram that Amma got her. we chatted briefly before the program started. she was nice and i wanted to connect more after the meditation was over. i was a bit distracted during Amma’s speech as the mind thought about it. after the meditation i didn’t want to say something right away in case she was still embracing the energy for a while. i thought i’d wait a little bit, but then she checked a voicemail or something on her phone after a few moments and left. i don’t recall if i saw her the rest of the evening or the next morning. the next evening i noticed her and ended up walking past her near the end of the program and waved as i went to get a chai tea. after i got the tea and was drinking it in the sitting area at the back, i noticed she was sitting at another table right by me. a little while after trying to see if there were extra chairs by her, i got up and sat by her and we chatted for a couple minutes. it was nice to learn that she found out about Amma from someone she was working for and she just went over to ashram and ended up staying. its funny how things simply flow when we’re more in tune. i’m not sure that she expected to stay at the ashram, though things unfolded for her to go there and she ended up staying.. similar to how i ended chatting with her the second time. she happened to go to the back of the room at the same time i did (perhaps she wanted to connect more and just went there to see if i’d see her and sit by her, or she simply was hungry at the same time.. either way, it all seemed to be in divine order, and from a place of higher awareness, it becomes more clear how everything is truly connected).

i noticed a lot of little things happening like this, where things just flowed and unfolded on their own. it was also great to notice when things didn’t flow so well, which was usually when the mind was thinking too much about something, such as during devi bhava when i was focused on holding the blessed water we received the whole time (as i didn’t want to set it down on the floor or drop it). it felt like a relief when i was able to bring it to my van and pour it into a bottle, as i knew i had gotten the blessed water and could continue to make more by simply adding more water to the bottle. at one point during the speech or meditation i sensed that the envelope i had placed the closed water cup into seemed to be wet.. with all my concern over it, i must’ve squeezed it too hard and some leaked out (gratefully there was still some inside that i poured into my Amma water bottle). its funny how much we hang on to and wait for, and how much of our attention or energy it can consume. yes, it was great to get the water, though trying to hold on to or have the mind control the little cup made me less present than i could’ve been had i just relaxed and trusted that i wasn’t going to drop the water cup and it’d be okay. so many little things like this can easily consume us and take us away from the present moment (such as concentrating on the water up made me focused on wanting to take it to my van right afterwards, and i had also had thoughts about chatting with the girl whom sat down next to me afterwards, though the little cup was becoming such a burden). i think Amma mentioned something similar in one of her speeches.

after dropping off the water i bought one of the ezekiel sprout wraps to keep in my van to eat after the program was over. perhaps i was radiating light or just feeling good and didn’t even realize it as the girl who was at the wrap table seemed to respond like i was when we interacted. or possibly she was just feeling great from the meditation or liked me or was simply shining her light to inspire me to do the same. afterwards i thought it would’ve been nice to chat a little more with her, though when i walked by the table later in the evening she wasn’t there. it’s funny how things can shift so fast when we’re in the flow. i suppose she was only meant to be there for that one moment, and me looking to sustain or re-create that moment didn’t work. only when i didn’t expect that interaction or nice moment did it occur. it’s interesting living from the heart, a place of feeling, or from higher awareness. it’s always given me the greatest or most profound experiences compared to when i’ve lived from the mind. even though the mind is quiet, its nice to step out of it every once in a while (or all the time!). i suppose my biggest challenge in living from the heart has been learning to surrender and trust that everything is going to continue to flow. from the place of the mind, we have the illusion that we’re in control and taking the right steps to go in the direction we want to go, however it’s nowhere near as profound as living in the moment and watching everything unfold on its own. i can see in a sense how this ties into some of what Amma mentioned about negativity. the mind can be quite negative and a reason one might want to live from the mind and try to control things would be one has had previous experiences that didn’t work out that one is trying to avoid. this really is fear.. in fact, or at least most likely, all living from the mind is living a fear-based reality. when life flows from a spontaneous place of higher awareness or feeling, its so much more fun. some of my most enjoyable moments have been out of spontaneity and following my feelings.

i can see how this ties into what happened next.. a moment that wasn’t exactly as i had expected. after putting the wrap in my fridge, i went to the dining hall to get dinner. there was a bit of a line and most of the tables were full. i went to one of the last tables by the door and asked the person sitting at the end if anyone was sitting in the empty seats there. i sat a couple seats in, right across from a girl who was sitting by herself. i thought to myself perhaps i could chat with her as i was feeling good about the little connection i made buying the wrap, though i was feeling resistance as to what to say. she wasn’t making direct eye contact so i just began to eat my meal. i thought that if she made eye contact i’d say something. i continued to eat while trying to glance every so often to see if she was looking at me. the resistance and whole thought process made it feel a little awkward though i tried not to think too much about it and just went about eating my meal. after a couple or few minutes, i saw a guy walk into the dining hall and approach the table. she had her back to the door though i immediately sensed that he was with her. i wonder if perhaps i was feeling awkward or not knowing what to say because i wasn’t meant to chat with her. it was a bit more awkward after that as i just continued to eat and try not to look directly at them (though made a little eye contact wih them). i was wondering what they felt, if he thought i was trying to pick up his girlfriend. i had thoughts that i made a mistake, as i didn’t know she was with him, and also thought i was just trying to practice connecting with others and breaking free of my resistance of connecting with others. at the end, they both spoke to me, wishing me a good evening and i said thanks, you too. it felt like this was also a divine appointment and a learning experience. the whole situation arose out of the desire of the mind rather than the spontaneous action that the previous experience arose from. [or perhaps it still was a bit of spontaneous action as it did unfold for it to happen.. perhaps even part of it was something they needed to experience and i was also being the conduit/reflection for their experience to unfold. it’s funny how many layers/aspects/perspectives there are to something] as with the previous girl, i didn’t see them again in the evening. nor did i see the girl who sat next to me during the peace meditation whom i only spoke briefly with, asking if it was her first time there when it seemed she was unfamiliar with the blessed water.

a little later in the evening i was sitting in the main hall and felt i’d go for a walk to see if i’d see anyone i knew to connect with. i walked toward the back of the hall and didn’t see anyone so was going to walk outside. as i approached the doors i noticed a friend i had met years ago at the avatar course talking to someone and then stopped and looked at her (as she had also looked at me in surprise). it was a bit of a surprise but not super shocking either, as everything just seems to flow in perfect order and make sense, and there really is nothing extremely surprising, depending on our viewpoint. i walked toward her and we chatted for a bit. its funny as when she asked what i was doing or up to, i said looking for friends to chat with and then i saw her. i went with her to the dining hall as she was about to get a bite to eat. it was funny as i didn’t know she followed Amma and hadn’t seen her in over 6 years since the last Avatar Course i went to. she had just started as part of the staff this year and was on the tour with Amma. we weren’t able to chat too long as she had to get back to her shift, though it was awesome to see her there unexpectedly. its amazing what can unfold when we don’t expect it and just experience life. i mentioned the ideas i’ve had for a sustainable spiritual community and learned that she’s also interested in creating a spiritual community, over in Boulder. it’d be awesome to have a community over there to visit or stay at part of the year. a long time ago i envisioned different communities or centers and traveling to/between them, and its beautiful to see the pieces starting to come together. (it’s also nice to see these unfolding on their own, rather than me having to create everything myself like i do with other projects, though thats a whole other tangent) i’ve been thinking more seriously of getting a tiny home or travel trailer to go back and forth between florida and chicagoland, and possibly go out west at some point, and a community in colorado would also be awesome and another reason to have a tiny home. i just have to trust that i’ll find land in florida and a place in chicagoland i can park, and it’ll all unfold. after the program had ended, i wanted to say goodbye to my friend before she left, though didn’t see her in the hall. i went to the van for a little while and then walked over toward the hall and decided to walk up the path toward the other part of the ashram/campus. after walking for a little bit, i noticed that my friend was just right ahead of me. i don’t even know where she appeared from. i suppose i wasn’t fully paying attention or whatnot (which seems to be a good way to allow things to happen as by not knowing what might happen, one allows more room/space for things to unfold rather than being locked into any one particular aspect of one’s reality). i walked up ahead and waved and she introduced me to a friend of hers who was also from avatar. it’s funny as she said they/we were dropouts as none of us have gone back recently. as we got a couple hundred feet up the path, my friend had to get on the bus to go to the next city of the tour. it was a bit of a miracle how it unfolded that i just happened to walk right up to her without knowing if i would or not. i had previously wanted to say/hug goodbye, though was also thinking i’d just walk and see if i saw any of my friends to say bye to, and the timing was perfect for me to see her.

i love that the Amma program has a lot happening, though one can just hang out or wander about the space and allow life to unfold the lessons and awareness. it reminds me a bit of the Avatar Courses in this sense, as it was a pretty relaxed atmosphere with everyone experiencing at their own pace most of the time. i think that’s one of the most profound aspects of spending time at the ashram during the program. there is a bit of a schedule as to the time of the speeches/meditation/etc, though there is plenty of time during the darshan to hang out and have one’s own experience as well. it’s like a playground to experience and learn in the space of higher awareness / presence. [upon re-reading this last line, that sounds like a great vision for the spiritual/sustainable community i’ve longed to create]

my experience with the darshan itself was interesting.. the first day i didn’t get there until mid-afternoon and got a late token. a little later, i noticed that i must’ve dropped the token when i pulled out my key from my pocket (or perhaps i lost it when i went to ask the volunteer running the line when that token would come up as it had a double letter after the initial letter). i went back to the token table and asked if i could have another, saying i lost it and had checked by/in my van where i thought it might be. the girl who had given me the token said she’s not supposed to and to look again. i asked what if i can’t find it, and she said just to go look (seeming to indicate we’ll figure that out at that point). i went looking in/near my van again and asked those near the token line entrance (and looked there), and couldn’t find it. afterward, i went back to the girl at the token table and said i couldn’t find it and she handed me a new token, saying it was much later. i thanked her and don’t recall what i went to do afterwards. i had to wait a while, but it didn’t end up being that much more time for the new token to go up after the original one. when i was up on the stage and received darshan, i wasn’t sure if i had felt anything and went to sit down in the other rows on the stage after darshan. i also wasn’t able to understand what Amma was saying when giving darshan. it seemed to be different than i had recalled her saying in the past. as i moved up closer, watching others receiving darshan, i still wasn’t feeling anything. after a while, almost near the end of when i was up on stage, i felt i could invoke the divine and let it flow/radiate it through me, like i do when giving blessings. after i did so, i started to feel a nice warm feeling emanating on the stage. perhaps this was simply a reminder to remember that i can tune into the divine whenever i feel the need or calling.

on the morning of the second day, i went to the token table when i got in and asked if we could receive darshan again if we had received the day before. they said to check during the evening program after the meditation. that night i went to the token line after the meditation and got another token. i think i may have misunderstood or mis-heard the question they were asking about whether i had received darshan before, and wasn’t sure if they were referring to that program or that day or earlier in the summer or something (i don’t recall at this point what it was).. perhaps i wasn’t supposed to get a token that evening though they had seemed to indicate in the morning that i could. i wasn’t too attached to whether or not i’d actually receive darshan that evening as i had received the night before and would the next evening for devi bhava. i figured if i was supposed to, the divine would guide me to and i would stay up and receive it. shortly after, i went to my van to lay down as i was tired and ended up falling asleep for a couple hours. i woke up and saw how much time had passed and went into the main hall. they had the sign up saying for everyone with a token to go to the line. looks like i had woken up just in time to receive darshan. i ended up being one of the last in line to receive a hug that evening. when i received darshan, Amma said what i remembered her saying in the past years: “my darling, my darling”.

on the evening of devi bhava, i got in the room pretty early and got a middle token number. after i chatted with my friend briefly as she ate her dinner, i went back to the main hall and ran into someone asking if i could help volunteer with kitchen cleanup. after looking at the current token number, i said yes i could help for a little bit. a few of us started following a staff member out of the hall and i saw my friend i had just chatted with smile as she saw me going. i helped sweep the floors in the kitchen and was going to help mop but there were still a lot of people in there cleaning up. a bit of time had passed so i said i’d come back later (as i thought my token number might be up). when i got back to the hall, the token letter was on what i had and was one number ahead of my group. i got in line and received darshan. when i was sitting in the row of chairs on the stage waiting to receive darshan, i had the thought/intention of healing and perhaps something else as part of receiving darshan. when i got up to Amma, the helpers told me to put my hands down on the side of the chair as they guided me to kneel down and told me to lean forward as i closed my eyes. in that moment, the thought/intention “i am peace” came to me.

it was interesting that it came to me at that moment, as that sometimes regularly comes to me during blessing circles and at other times around others. i also recall that when receiving a mantra from Amma a few years ago, they asked for a word of how i describe the divine or my connection to it, and i said peace, and they/Amma gave me a mantra related to that. i also recall that same time, i think it was one of the evenings the first time i saw Amma in 2013, that i felt to be in a more peaceful state or higher level of consciousness, and i had the intention for my level of consciousness to be at a minimum of 600, the level of peace on Dr David R Hawkins’ map of consciousness. perhaps since that time (or earlier) i have been vibrating at that frequency.

when i was receiving darshan, Amma said something to someone else up there in her language. i heard another voice say something like “he’s pretending to be asleep”. i don’t recall if that voice said why or anything else after those words. either before or after that, i also heard another voice, perhaps the same one though perhaps a different one, saying or asking something about doing the mantra. and i may have heard that voice say something about not needing to do the mantra (or perhaps that was my own thought). its possible Amma was talking to someone else on stage about something else, as i’ve seen her do, though its also quite possible that this whole thing was about me. or, even if it was about someone else, that i happened to hear it at the time i was there was certainly a message for me. afterward the rest of the darshan was similar to previous ones with her saying “my darling, my darling” and embracing me and then in the middle re-positioning me or my head as she embraced me. afterwards, when i leaned back upright, i put my hands together in front of my chest/heart as a sign of “namaste” or “om namah shivaya”.

an interesting aspect i just recalled is that the guy who did the second puja (that i volunteered at earlier that afternoon) had told a story that he would regularly go to Amma to receive darshan/blessing every time before he would do the puja, and once he went twice the same day as he had two pujas that day. Amma then told him that he already has the blessing and doesn’t need to go every time he does the puja. he said that afterwards he would just sit in the audience and see Amma’s smile and know he has the blessing, and then do the puja. perhaps my experience was related to this.

it seems that Amma was sensing/feeling/seeing/knowing that i’m already awakened/liberated, and perhaps the pretending part of what i heard was related to me not fully living from an awakened place in order to be able to fit in with others, or to receive love from others, or to not have to fully partake in what an awakened being could do. i didn’t hear the rest of the message but those are the feelings that i had after i heard the first part. i wonder if the whole message even happened internally and i was just hearing it as if it had happened externally, though it may have been her actually saying it outloud in her language and someone translating it either for me or others there to hear (as seemed to be my experience in the physical reality).

i can see how the message could be quite relative to my experience and a bit of guidance for me. i can see how perhaps it was simply a reflection of my thoughts about the guy doing the puja and the experience he shared earlier that afternoon. though its likely that its a bit of both. its all related, and it can be quite crazy when we step into higher awareness to see how all the pieces of the puzzle of this reality/experience are unfolding perfectly. it seems that it is time for me to continue more deliberately on this spiritual path and to continue to shine and radiate my light more confidentally.. which is also interesting as parts of the speeches she told were related to negativity and the last evening she said something about negativity taking away confidence and such, and i’ve seen a lot of negativity (and opposing viewpoints) in the physical reality in recent times (and see how this has had an influence on me and my reality).

it’s time to deliberately choose to create the beautiful reality and world we want to create, regardless of what is showing up in the external world. we create the reflections of the external world from our internal knowing, and especially so as awakened or liberated beings. we can transcend this illusion should we choose to. its simply a matter of choosing a new direction if we don’t like the one we’re on. in recent times i’ve started to see more signs of our world starting to go in the right direction (despite there also being a lot of signs that we’re not). focus on what you want to see and don’t let others or the external world steer you astray. the more of us that choose to co-create a beautiful world, the sooner we will all see it unfold. in the meantime, enjoy all the strange ‘coincidences’ that unfold in this crazy dream/illusion called reality.

[it seems that a part of me stepping back in the spiritual direction i want and inspiring others is in sharing and writing my experiences. i had a couple friends i saw at the Amma program tell me that they enjoy reading what i write. it was a bit of effort to start to write this yesterday as i barely had any sleep as i stayed up all night for devi bhava and just napped for maybe an hour or two in the morning afterwards, though i’m glad to do so. i really do enjoy it when i feel inspired and the words flow through me. perhaps forcing myself to write can be a way of setting the intention that i do want to allow the flow to occur, and i’ll accept it if not everything i write is as good or perfect as everything else.. it’ll be more real that way as well]

[its funny, as i was finishing writing/editing this, someone just walked by across the atrium here playing some audio program talking about consciousness expanding.. and this is in a shared office building where my friend’s company was located. i recall last year there regularly being annoying loud bass music playing in the morning by people driving up and hanging out in their cars before going to work. today, this was the opposite of what i had expected to find here.. this is another sign that as we change so too does the world around us. at the Amma program i recall seeing someone wearing a shirt saying “be the change”…]

got up before daybreak last sunday to head into the city [2017.08.20]

#city #urban #sunrise #homeiswhereyouparkit #vanlife #campervan #ford #transit #van #fordtransit #tinyhome #lifeontheroad #homeonwheels #travel #journey #roadtrip #360x180 #stereographicprojection #littleplanet #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #360degree #littleworld #tinyplanet #poleaerialphotography #elevatedphotography #mastphotography #aerial #fromabove

(using a real camera would’ve helped this look much better!)

this morning i woke up early and was laying in bed for a while here at the hotel. my friend had mentioned going to go get breakfast one of these mornings and i was waiting to see if he’d call. i tried calling him after a while to plan out when i could go to his house to do laundry as i’m just about out of clean clothes. i was getting an error message while trying to leave a voicemail so figured i’d talk to him later about it. i went downstairs to get oatmeal for breakfast and came back to my room. i was sitting here for a little while not feeling like going to the office just yet as i was there pretty much all day yesterday. i also wanted to hear back from my frined to plan out my day and when i could do laundry at his house. i laid back down in bed thinking maybe i’d listen to an audio program for a little while as i didn’t feel like going to the office just yet. i think i pulled up the weather app on my phone to see how warm it’d be today and in less than a minute, my friend called. he asked if i wanted to go with him today to get out of the office. when i was about to lay back down in bed or as i did (and was feeling like i was at the office all day and not wanting to go), it felt like maybe i was somehow telepathically talking to a part of him, and that part of him picked up on it. i don’t know that he was aware of it at all.. probably the divine just guided him to call me to see if i wanted to go on the road with him today. or he just felt like it. it feels like this is how a lot of this works. we are all guided by our feelings, intuition, etc. it’s how we communicate with the divine and how the divine communicates with us. and when i woke up today i was wondering if i would have a little miracle to share today or not! i wasn’t feeling one at that point though one came to me shortly after. pondering back on a couple of things that happened yesterday, i could see them as miracles too! miracles are everywhere. the divine is everywhere. all we have to do is simply be open to seeing and experiencing it.

everything begins to work out quite smoothly when you begin to look for miracles in life. my friend had told me to be ready soon though i said i needed a little more time and he said to be ready by 10. when i started typing this after getting out of the shower, it was a little before 10 and i got a text message from him at 10 saying he’d be there in 5 minutes. i finished typing the first paragraph and wanted to use the bathroom before leaving though wasn’t sure if i’d have enough time. i went anyway, and just as i was walking out of the hotel, he was pulling up, right about 10:10. it all worked out perfectly. i had wanted to type up the miracle of what had happened and was able to type up the first part this morning before being in the truck with him (where i didn’t have a chance to). also, i had forgotten to charge my camera last night (as i’ve been shooting short clips for a time-lapse project while up here), and i remembered to plug it in this morning. i didn’t know if it had gotten much of a charge in the short time this morning, though i grabbed it anyway and when i turned it on, it was showing full power.

another recent little miracle was that wednesday night when we were sharing miracles, i felt a little nervous or something, though afterwards i was thanked for sharing or told that my message was inspiring or helpful (and more than once). and when i mentioned how i was feeling, they said it came across well without any signs of what i was feeling.

the energy was really powerful last night at the Flowering Heart Center in Downers Grove, especially in the beginning after the chanting or first meditation. i could feel the energy, and felt like i could almost see it, just before and when we were all saying our names and intentions. it was also very beautiful to feel the unconditional love flowing through others when we hugged. the divine presence and energy keeps increasing as we collectively awaken and experience our hearts flowering. part of a mini miracle for me was that i was able to more naturally connect with others, and i started to let go a little when i found myself going downstairs to join the dancing afterwards.

another miracle was that on the way to the Flowering Heart Center i was trying to remember a miracle that had come to me earlier in the day but couldn’t quite remember exactly what it was. i tried to surrender and feel that the divine would remind me or speak through me. as i arrived and was walking up towards the door to go inside, i remembered that i had a USB stick with some files for Kristin that i needed to give her. i realized this was a miracle as earlier in the day before going to my friend’s, i was thinking about leaving my computer in the hotel as i didn’t think i would be using it for the rest of the afternoon. something told me to take it and i did, and i ended up having the USB stick with it so i could bring it to Kristin. i had put a reminder on my phone calendar to bring it but i didn’t even see or hear it go off. the divine was my reminder, gently guiding me through subtle feelings and intuition.


it decided to snow three weeks ago when i went to chicagoland. the same thing happened last year and i think that was also the first snow. it’s nice to expect or desire to see snow when having to go somewhere cold and it actually happening :)

the simplest way to reduce anger is to let go of your need for things to be a certain way

#lightning #storm last Monday #night after deeksha #clouds #sky
#lightning #storm last Monday after deeksha #clouds #night
#aerial #flying #fromabove #rural #clouds
#chicago #urban #city #fromabove #flying #aerial
#360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricoh #theta #360 #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #chicago #yesterday #city #urban #highway #train #skyline
#lights #lines #dusk
#clouds #city #urban #highway #goldenhour
#360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricoh #theta #360 #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #nature #plants #trees #water #lake #park #trail #preserve
#nature #preserve #park #walk #goldenhour #light #clouds #lake #plants
#nature #preserve #walk #plants #light #beautifulday
thanks to divine guidance, perfect timing by @cmzalokar and a bit of spontaneity, I unexpectedly ended up here this morning creating this image
#360x180 #stereographic #projection #tunnel #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricoh #theta #360 #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #nature #preserve #trees #park #trail #walk
#road #driving #goldenhour
#road #driving #nature #preserve
#ricoh #theta #360 #degree #360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #nature #park #walk #lake #goldenhour
#ricoh #theta #360 #degree #360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #trees #nature #park
#360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricoh #theta #360 #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #nature #preserve #trees #prairie #trail #walk
#nature #preserve
#nature #preserve #walk #plants

108 Names of Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi Devi)


Sri Lalita Sahasranama Namavali (1000 names of the Divine Mother)


Amma, Mata Amritanandamayi Devi singing Lokah Samastha Sukhino Bhavanthu

Hope is the doorway to belief, belief is the doorway to knowing, knowing is the doorway to creation, and creation is the doorway to experience.

Experience is the doorway to expression, expression is the doorway to becoming, becoming is the activity of all Life and the only function of God.

What you hope, you will eventually believe, what you believe you, will eventually know, what you know, you will eventually create, what you create, you will eventually experience, what you experience, you will eventually express, what you express, you will eventually become. This is the formula for all of life.

It is as simple as that.

- Neale Donald Walsch, Home with God: In a Life That Never Ends

recently i decided to sell my condo as they weren’t going to let me park my van there and i’d much prefer to have my own land with a new home. just a few days after listing it, i got an offer under contract though the buyer ended up canceling as their job transfer was offering a bit less than they wanted. i don’t recall exactly all the interests and potential offers, though i just wanted to be done with it especially as i heard the market may crash in the near future. i asked the divine for it to be closed before the phenomenon and gift course on 9/9. in early august i got an offer with a closing date of 9/8. a few days before closing, i found out that the p&g course in fort lauderdale was being canceled because of the category 5 hurricane en route. i didn’t follow all the details of the storm and did my best to avoid the media and the fear it spreads. the storm wouldn’t reach the west coast (if it went that way) until after closing that friday. as the title company and buyer’s lender were preparing the paperwork for closing, i saw an email from the buyer’s agent on thursday suggesting waiting until after the storm passes. i wasn’t exactly happy and left a message for the title agent and my realtor saying i do not agree with waiting until after the storm. my realtor, also a oneness trainer, reminded me to stop worrying and trust my divine. on friday morning they were still working on getting the documents from the buyer’s recent home sale out of state, though they weren’t able to get them in time as the title company was closing early that day so the closing was postponed until tuesday after the storm. i was a little concerned but overall stayed calm with faith that it’d all work out. at one point, i had seen projected paths of the storm going right up the west coast of florida, though i didn’t let it bother me too much as it was still a ways away. michael from the flowering heart center in clearwater had sent out a forward he received with a concordance to dissipate the storm. i did some of what it said briefly and also sent good energy, intentions, etc to the condo and the whole surrounding area. i spent that saturday helping frank and kristin from the flowering heart center in downers grove set up their booth at theosofest and was giving deeksha all day to those who stopped by. it felt good to let the energy flow through me during the day and i wasn’t really thinking about the storm. sunday i went to a park or forest preserve that i had never been to and spent most of the day there. i think sunday evening the mind did start to think of different scenarios and what i would do, though besides that i remained calm and trusted it’d all work out. i heard from my mom on monday that my folks had gone to the condo after the storm left and it was fine. out of curiosity, i tried to search online for the actual path the storm took and was only seeing the projected paths. i called a friend down there and he told me that it was on the west coast of florida down by naples though turned inland and went through lakeland. the wind speeds seem to have slowed down quicker than forecast as it was only a category 2 or maybe less when it was passing through there. besides some loss of power and downed trees, it seems to have caused minimal damage to tampa bay from what i’ve heard. it’s a miracle that it didn’t go directly through tampa bay and that no damage occurred at my condo. i’m grateful for closing happening last week and for being able to relax, surrender, and trust that the divine had everything in order for it to work out. it does feel like it was a simple surrender.. i was a little upset before when i was trying to get them to still close on friday, though when it wasn’t happening, there was nothing else i could do (as far as in the physical world of taking action) so i sent/set some good energy/intention/prayers and let go. in the past i’d be worried or anxious the whole time, and this time i was able to be calm and not let something i couldn’t control take over me. i accepted that even if the condo were damaged or destroyed by the storm, that things would still work out and i’d still move forward in some way. perhaps being detached from outcome/control helped it all unfold how it did. i suppose i’m technically homeless now and i ended up having to pay more than i was told or expected for closing costs, though i’m glad to move forward into a new chapter. i don’t know exactly where i’ll live or end up, though i look forward to the journey and to having my own land somewhere peaceful, quiet, beautiful, natural, and sacred to live in the not-so-distant future.

another miracle is that i’ve noticed recently as i’ve been growing and letting go in other ways, it’s been easier for me to connect with others. i’m grateful for making new friends at the flowering heart center in downers grove. it’s also really great that others are also interested in creating a sustainable community with tiny or alternate homes. this is a vision i’ve had for a long time and it feels like the pieces are coming together now. it’ll be really beautiful to have land where some of the community can have their own homes if they choose to, and where we can gather together daily if we like.

in addition to connection with others, i’ve been asking the divine for abundance, and recently a friend called me and asked me about an investment he suggested a few months ago. i had totally forgot about doing it as i got caught up in working on the van and trying to get out of florida in the summer. after speaking with him again, i’m realizing how much great potential this really has and am grateful for being able to do it now. i was a little concerned about what i’d do after selling the condo as i could put the proceeds towards land or a tiny home but not both, and the van is really too small for full time living. now with this opportunity i’ll see great returns and be able to get land and build a nice home. i previously had no idea how it’d work out and now the divine has presented me with the way i hadn’t thought of. sometimes we really do just need to let go and surrender in order to allow the divine to unfold miracles and beautiful unexpected experiences for us. i’m grateful for all the blessings i’ve received and continue to receive. and i’m grateful for the divine continuing to flow through me. despite some of the challenges and obstacles we may face at times, life can truly be beautiful and amazing and miraculous. it feels like part of stepping into this new golden age will be stepping into the age of miracles and grace.

a week ago yesterday i was experiencing a bit of frustration in the morning working on the van. i was almost done installing the water tank though had to get to one of the plugs that was behind some pieces of wood structure i had built around the tank. i was able to remove one of the panels and squeeze my hand in the very tight space to get the plug off though i was unable to get the plug back in. the wood pieces blocking the part were going to be hard to remove, and at first i thought maybe i was going to have to practically take apart everything i had built just to get to the one part. it looked like i could remove just a few of the pieces though the screws were stripped and i couldn’t get to them. i didn’t want to cut the wood or screws to get to them as debris could get inside the fresh water tank, rendering it useless and i’d then need to remove it entirely, meaning taking apart even more of what i had built in the van. i tried placing my friend’s saws-all tool in between the pieces of wood though it was too tight and the blade didn’t move — the whole van shook as the tool itself shook when i pulled the trigger. i was ready to give up on the whole van.. i didn’t want to take everything apart and if i couldn’t have water, then the van build really wasn’t going to work for me. i figured i had messed up or hadn’t had much luck on a lot of other things recently, and maybe this was just another one. the night before we did a powerful kirtan chant and we were asking for what no longer served us to be taken away. i was wondering if the van was one of them at this point, though really hoped it wasn’t. in building the van, there was much frustration along the way, something would always seem to not work out and it was taking far longer than anticipated. previously, i had a lot of other frustration in other projects and not getting what i really wanted in life and i was ready to give up. i was asking the divine something like to either make things work out / make my life enjoyable or to take me off the planet. i was done with suffering and doing endless work that brought me no enjoyable nor fulfillment. i just wanted to be able to enjoy a simple life experience here on earth. a little bit later, i think after i sat for a while and began to accept where i was at, the idea came to me to try to take off the whole wood structure from the other side where it was attached. i didn’t want to take it off from there as it also was difficult to reach and some of those screws were also stripped and i didn’t know if it’d go back in due to the way it was installed. i ended up taking that apart and was able to bend the whole wood frame enough so i could reach the place where i needed to install the plug back in and tighten it. i wasn’t sure if was tight enough as i wasn’t the resistance i expected to (and i didn’t want to keep turning it too much that it’d break the plastic threads), though when i filled it up it didn’t leak. i was able to get the wood frame structure back in place and i now have water in the van.

this past sunday i had another miracle when my friend helped me cut a hole in the roof of the van so i could install a vent. he was either available in the morning or the evening and when we were going to work in the morning, there was a chance of rain forecast. shortly after we cut the hole, i noticed some very dark clouds not too far in the distance, and i still had to finish preparing the hole with a couple layers of touch up paint and then caulk after we cut and filed it. i trusted that the divine was going to work everything out, and was grateful when i felt the wind blowing in a direction that felt like it wouldn’t blow the dark clouds towards me. i was pretty calm and relaxed (probably partially because of going to the powerful workshop the day before), and i did what i had to do to touch up the paint without rushing it or skipping steps, and allowed the drying time it recommended. i was able to get it fully installed and never encountered the rain. i went to the arboretum a little later in the afternoon and got to see some really nice light there. i don’t think it rained that night nor the next day so the caulk had more than the full 24 hours to completely set. despite many frustrations i’ve had in the whole van build, i’m grateful to continue to move forward with it and look forward to the many adventures i’ll have with it.

this is a compilation of all 72 days of the journey i took from chicagoland to california and then to florida, from september 6th to november 16th in 2012. this is running at 5x the normal speed (otherwise it’d be around 19.5 hours long). it includes all of the following parts:

– from chicagoland to california [a five week adventure]
– life in california [three and a half weeks]
– from california to florida [just under two weeks]


everyday miracles

today the hotel i’m staying at is going to be shutting down the water at 9am to install new plumbing equipment. they were going to be doing this tuesday after 10am, though they must’ve not gotten to it. today i was supposed to check out and didn’t know if i was going to be going to another hotel, my friend’s, or staying here again. i was wondering a bit if i was going to have to rush or have to ask them to delay shutting down the water until i could check out, move rooms, etc, etc. yesterday i talked to my friend and he said he’d get another couple nights for me here since they’re still getting settled down in the new house, and he booked another reservation last night. i went to sleep shortly after getting back from the deeksha circle last night and didn’t really worry much about needing to be up in time to be able to shower in the morning. (some of the past week here i’ve been getting in the shower after 9 or at least once not be all ready to leave until 10:30) this morning i woke up with enough time to go downstairs, get breakfast, inquire about the new reservation, shower, get ready, etc and was done by around 8:40 when i started writing this. i went back down to the registration desk on my way out of the hotel to show my id and sign the new paper and i was able to stay in the same room without moving all my stuff. the first night when i got here a week ago, the hotel room was smaller than the one i had originally been shown in the afternoon. i called the front desk and they didn’t have any other rooms available though were able to move me the the larger room in the morning. the room smelled like smoke and i called the front desk and they showed me two of the other larger rooms, one which smelled fresh that i ended up picking.

after typing all this and something else, i noticed it was a few minutes after 9 though figured the water might still be on. i was able to use the bathroom at the hotel rather than wait until i went to my friend’s office, even though they said it’d be shut off by 9.

yesterday i had written about a miracle in getting one of the raspberry pi micro-computers working at my friend’s office. i remembered that the day before i had another miracle in upgrading the hard drive on one of the imac’s here at the office. i had upgraded the first computer last week and it went well, which was a miracle, and this one went a little more smoothly essentially repeating the whole process. after i had put it back together and was booting up into the recovery mode to restore the operating system software, i put all of the tools, anti-static mat, band, etc. away figuring it was done. when it got into the recovery mode, i don’t remember what happened, perhaps i hit a key or something at some point before it actually began the installation process, the screen went blank and showed an error icon, either the blinking question mark in the folder or drive or something.. i really didn’t want to have to take the whole thing apart just to get to the hard disk. i turned it off and back on again, hit the key sequence to go into the recovery mode and waited. it got to the menu and i was able to format the drive and install the OS and then easily restore all of the data and application files from the backup. another simple miracle in how it didn’t make sense or didn’t look like it was going to work and then it did. being able to restore the data and application files and encrypt the drive was a bit of a miracle on the first one last week as at first it didn’t work but then i thought of temporarily restoring the OS so it would create the necessary partition setup, and then restoring the backup. often a ‘bug’ or something that’s not working has a simple solution or workaround, a miracle hiding, waiting to be experienced.

sometimes we might not think all the little pieces can come together or we might just get caught up in the thinking or emotions or resistance of experiencing (or thinking we might experience) something we don’t prefer, though when we surrender to the moment and expect miracles (or simply expect things to work out), everything will flow naturally and effortlessly in our favor. experiencing miracles is as simple as shifting our perspective. embrace them and they will become a part of our everyday life.

a mini miracle today.. i was getting tired working at my friend’s office and had thought of going to the grocery store to pick up a couple of things before heading up to my hotel room. part of me was thinking i don’t need to and could just go tomorrow. though i had also thought of going to the park right up the road too. a little bit later, i noticed the light was getting to be very nice as […]

There's more to life than making it go faster.

- Wayne Dyer paraphrasing Gandhi

as we learn to change our own perspectives and to accept others’ perspectives, we will bring peace to the world

#lightning #storm last Monday #night after deeksha #clouds
last Monday #driving #clouds #field #preserve
#flying #aerial #fromabove #rural
#chicago #highway #road #fromabove #flying #city #urban #skyline #aerial
#yesterday #park #nature #trees
#chicago #city #skyline #dusk #lights #night
#lights #lines #dusk
wood brick alley
(after the Oneness Awakening Course, photo shot by Margaret)
(after the Oneness Awakening Course, photo shot by Margaret)
(in seeing that i was even more peaceful than i usually am, she seemed to think i was drunk or high or something!)
(in seeing that i was even more peaceful than i usually am, she seemed to think i was drunk or high or something!)
#nature #goldenhour #light #park #preserve #powerlines #plants
#nature #preserve #park #walk #goldenhour #light #clouds #sun #lake
#nature #preserve #park #walk #goldenhour #light #clouds #lake #powerlines #plants
thanks to perfect timing by @cmzalokar (and divine guidance while driving a way I don't normally go), I ended up at this #preserve
#nature #path
#sun #trees #park
#ricoh #theta #360 #degree #360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #trees #nature #preserve #park #walk #goldenhour
#ricoh #theta #360 #degree #360x180 #stereographic #projection #tunnel #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #trees #nature #park
#360x180 #stereographic #projection #littleplanet #weeplanet #ricoh #theta #360 #ricohtheta #theta360 #fisheye #lookingup #lookingdown #planet #360degree #stereographicprojection #world #littleworld #tinyplanet #nature #preserve #trees #prairie #trail
#nature #preserve #trees #prairie #walk #water #sun