i often ponder what went wrong…. it seems so long ago… i cant remember a time when things were right.. should this possiblity exist once again only one can hope… how could i not perceive the unbearable truth lying inches from my eyes…a vision i would only wish a slight possibility… i betrayed myself with words… damned the future with a metaphor.. honestly this repetition is ever-increasingly painful.. i have been chosen to take the absence as a destination… my dreams no longer exist… the predetermined reality has set in.. i can only now face it, question it, and live it.. there is no way to reconcile the past, as the past was merely another part of the master plan behind everything.. if only i could discover the location of the plans and foresee the further damnation lying ahead.. perhaps i am better off not realizing the future as it can only be much less bearable… only questions can i face..

the sad part is that should the slightest possibility of undoing the wrong arise i would be situated in such a far-removed context that my mind find read no indication of a necessary action… i trance through life an anonymous soul only bound to repeat that which i despise in the past

why can only sadness exist… though while in such a state at great lenghts one tends to grow accustmed to the lacking and slowly over time loses hope…

just another meanigless night alone… the windows are shut closed away from the outter reality.. everything remains hidden within the lack of experience… the world doesnt know me and i dont know the world