What is God?
What is the Purpose of Life?
“Is my life pre-destined?” – Sadhguru answers
Why was the Universe Created?
Is our Existence Created by What we Think? Sadhguru
i’m looking to meet a sweet girl who desires a relationship, or new friends with similar perspectives on life.
some things i like:
– being outdoors
– exploring new places
– deep conversations about life
– cuddling, spooning, intimacy
– goofing off
– watching something funny
– meditation, higher awareness
– photography, creativity, writing
– healthy food, mostly vegetarian
– adventures around town
– romance, falling in love
– enjoying + living in the moment
i’ve put together a youtube playlist of all the 2012 life on the road films in chronological order if you want to watch them one after another. here’s the link:
to see pictures from my truck camper journeys or read more about the adventure, visit this link:
(you’ll need to scroll past all the videos as they’re also on that same page)
see the short one minute videos i’ll be posting on instagram (and read a little bit about each day), look here:
[from california to florida]
[from california to florida]
[from california to florida]
[from california to florida]
reflecting on a few recent miracles..
one miracle i wrote about recently was feeling motivated/inspired to work on the life on the road films i shot back in 2012 and never completed.. in the past 2.5 weeks i’ve been able to crank through more of them than i had when i first started working on them 2-3 years ago. today i was able to start and finish one with nearly the most number of shots. going through the 600+ shots didn’t take as long i was estimating. it was a little slow in the beginning though picked up quickly. these past few days i’ve been asking for divine grace to help me make the edits needed rather than struggling with needing to control it and make it perfect. i’m almost done with another video that’s rendering now (#56). it’s a miracle i’m moving quickly since yesterday, as i was stuck on day #50 from thursday night through sunday morning.. the adobe software kept crashing and i had to keep trying different workarounds to make it through and it dragged on for so long. i had to surrender and accept what was happening (after getting mad in the beginning when it seemed to be crashing for no reason). the editing process has also gotten simpler as i’ve allowed myself to feel the grace and accept the videos aren’t perfect. more than once i’ve left in things that i could change or tweak (mostly because i didn’t want to wait hours for it to render again, but also because i’ve been shifting my perspective on them). these past weeks have been a bit long and i’ve barely done anything other than sit in front of the computer, though i’m grateful how much progress i’m making on completing the films.
earlier this afternoon when i was waiting 2.5 hours for the second/final render of the video of day 55, i had plenty of time to shower and run a couple errands. i went to open up a couple new bank accounts as i received an offer in the mail that had a nice bonus for opening up the accounts. when opening up the accounts, i found out i needed $25 to open up each of the accounts and i had only brought $25 for one of the accounts as i thought i could transfer the money over for the other account as per what the offer stated in the fine print and what i was told when i called. i asked if the transfer i was planning on doing would work though was told they really wanted the money at the time of opening. i accepted that i was going to have to make another trip to the bank, and it might be the next day as my normal bank closed early and i don’t carry my atm card with me (and i was planning my errands around the time i had to wait for the videos to render and didn’t want to waste more time). i left the bank and got in my car and saw it was only 3:55.. my normal bank closed at 4 (and i was thinking it was after 4 already and wasn’t rushing like i would’ve been had i known i was cutting it so close). i left and headed down the road to my regular bank and didn’t get stuck at the couple lights on the way. i made it there in only 2 minutes and ran inside and was able to withdraw the funds. i headed back to the new bank and then went to whole foods to pick up a couple things on sale. i got home and the file was just about done rendering. it was a miracle how it all worked out in perfect timing so that i didn’t have to make another trip nor lose any time that i could’ve been working on the videos.
perhaps the nicest miracle is that every so often (and recently while working on the videos) i’ve been feeling a feeling that i could describe as being satisfied or relaxed or peaceful or love. as i was typing the last sentence, causeless love/joy came to mind. it feels natural or simple, almost like it’s who we really are as the layers covering it up dissolve. i’m not sure if it’s from freeing all this attention/energy when making progress on these videos and getting them off my plate, or if it’s from growth in my journey. perhaps both. it doesn’t really matter exactly what it is or how it happened. i’m grateful for it and for moving into a place of allowing. it’s much simpler than struggling or trying or any of that sort of thing the mind likes to do. i may not be perfect or always feeling it though i know the resistance will continue to fade away as i expand and evolve and transform.
a recent miracle is that i was inspired to create a technique that has saved (and will save) me lots of time and frustration editing the video clips i shot a few years ago during my trip out west. i hadn’t touched any of the files in over a year and a half, though was feeling motivated recently after completing the last couple years’ worth of time-lapses. i really didn’t like dealing with correcting technical issues due to imperfections in the files the camera created.. many of the films have hundreds of clips and it was very tedious and frustrating to have to be cutting off the end of each clip. when i began working on the film i left off, i used the old technique and found it not to be too bad at first though was finding myself frustrated with it. i tried another one after and think i wasn’t enjoying the process too much, so decided to take a different approach for the next one. the first idea i had come up with wasn’t going to work that ell, though i then thought of another idea to run all the clips through a script that would automatically chop off the last half second of them (alleviating the majority of the frustrating issues with them), and then import those clips into the video editor. it didn’t work perfectly as the editing software didn’t like the very short clips, though i’m sure it has saved an enormous amount of time and frustration. in the past week, i’ve been able to start and complete 10 of the films. i’ve made it past the point of getting to california in the trip (where i had previously thought if i could just make it to then, then i could take a break or give up), and it’s going pretty well. it still is a long process though i’m finding myself more patient with it and enjoying it much more than when i had first started.
another miracle today was that i was much more patient and didn’t get anywhere near as angry as i could’ve when i discovered the car dealer had scuffed/scratched up the paint on my door handles and doors when doing a recall to replace the door handle brackets — i was actually surprisingly pretty calm and accepting though i did feel a bit of a charge that passed fairly quickly once i sat down and accepted i had to wait again (and started working on my computer while waiting to find out if they could buff it out or not).. this was very different than how i felt and reacted nearly two years ago when i first bought the new car and experienced them doing a bad job touching up a ding on the hood i found. today i was able to treat the service advisor kindly, especially at the end, though even when i first got back to the dealer and was feeling the charge of anger and intolerance. earlier today while waiting for the recall work to be done, a little miracle was that i was patient and pretty tolerant of the ego energy i was sensing and hearing from the sales reps who were standing right near where i was sitting the whole time (and i was actually able to work on programming somewhat complex code at the time and it didn’t end up being as much of an overhaul as i was thinking). at one point, i quietly sent blessings and light to everyone at the dealer (and felt a little energized after doing so). the last part of today’s miracle was that i had enough gas to make it back home (after the range dropped quickly and had indicated 0 for a few miles) and i was later able to start the car back up and get to the gas station to fill it up — i didn’t think it was going to be this low and thought there’d be plenty to make it home (as i had forgotten the gas gift card i wanted to use up) though i had to turn around and go back to the dealer after i discovered the mishap when i stopped a few miles down the road from the dealer (which was 30+ miles from my home). i’d prefer not having to make a couple trips all the way back out to the dealer again next week to drop off my car to get the paint touched up and new door handles installed, though i’ll make an adventure of it and perhaps go to some local parks or spots in nature in the area. i’m wanting to make it through editing all these videos quickly though i know it’s all in divine order.. they’re going to get done and i don’t have to worry so much about the deadline i’ve placed on myself to complete them in the coming weeks. if anyone reading this is interested in checking out the videos, here’s a link to where i’m posting them: markmarano.com/what/truckcamperfilms
…and i just noticed repeating numbers in the url of the date and this post # on my website: /2016/08/11/17111/
i think one of the things i really liked about doing really long exposures or time-lapses at night was being present. sitting, waiting for the camera to expose the images would give me a lot of time to just be there and experience being there. i recall feeling this sometimes during the day when doing time-lapses and just sitting waiting, or when simply waiting for the sun to set when i would get to the causeway or park early. it was nice to just hang out and be in a natural place without thinking i needed to photograph every single moment. it’s so much better to create when feeling inspired rather than trying to force it when wanting to do a specific project. being somewhere at night is nice as its cooler and there’s usually not very much light in the natural places i go to (or even in places that are more well lit), so it’s easier to relax and focus on what i do see. perhaps a part of it is that its also quieter with less people out. i’m not sure all the exact specifics.. i should stop trying to figure it out. it’s all about just relaxing and being in the moment. i’ve experienced this perception even when walking on a bright sunny day, so it’s not all about the external conditions.. it’s about the internal feeling. the external environment can help one feel a certain way, though one can shift how one feels regardless of any external conditions.. it might take a little more effort and work if one is resisting a lot of what one is feeling or experiencing in the world, though it can be done. i’m glad i came out here to do this shot tonight. i felt inspired earlier to do so when i was laying in the grass. it’s not the most exciting shot though i’ll put it with other ones i shoot in a time-lapse and i’m sure it’ll add to the interest of it.
i think what i’m enjoying most about my experience today going to lay on the grass and coming out here is that its bringing me back to aspects of the old me that i had forgotten.. i used to be more spontaneous and free and very often feel inspired to create lots of photographs.. i’d also really embrace the experience of life. somehow over the past couple/few years i strayed away from this. i’ve been wanting to make changes in my life so i could have more fun and enjoy it more again. i think part of the issue i’ve faced was in having my own condo i’ve really felt the struggle to make money to be able to pay for it.. i really don’t like owing anyone anything, especially not when it’s tied to some legal agreement where they could take my home if i didn’t pay. a long time ago, even though i did need money for rent or food or something, i still managed to be free. i was more care free and wasn’t attached to outcome. sometimes i did have less to worry about, less responsibility or concern, though i still sometimes managed to let go of attachment and be free. i think it helped when i either had a group of friends who were easy-going or knew me and appreciated me as i was, or when i had a girlfriend who enjoyed being spontaneous and going on an adventure. one of the most enjoyable aspects of life is just having fun and being in the moment with someone else. it’s something i’ve missed for a long time as i either lost touch with or let go of a lot of people from my past. having nobody and feeling stuck inside a condo that i didn’t fully appreciate really affected me. as i learn to surrender and enjoy my life more, i’ll really be able to embrace wherever i am, regardless of whether or not i’m with someone else or not. yes, it’d certainly be nice to hang out with someone whom i have a meaningful connection with, though i can still appreciate and enjoy my own life.
these recent months (and years) i’ve been so busy working on my photography projects that i haven’t really just sat down and enjoyed life. and as i did the projects and wasn’t really enjoying them for very long after they were complete, it began to feel quite meaningless doing them. when that’s all i was doing, my whole life began to feel meaningless. i really wondered what i was doing with it and often felt lonely and bored. i think sometimes the photo projects were just a means to satisfy that boredom, in an attempt to give my life some meaning or purpose, though it never quite worked as well as it could’ve. it’d only be a very temporary satisfaction.. it’d feel exciting to create a new technique and be out shooting that way, though it quickly lost its excitement after doing it for a little while or completing the project. sometimes it began to feel like work i had to do to complete it and it was no longer fun. i think part of the issue was that i was only going to the same parks and places in the area here. they quickly lost their excitement as it was the same places i was just photographing in new ways. it feels so much more exciting and thrilling to be traveling and exploring someplace new, or some place i hadn’t been to in a while. i know i’m not the only one to experience some of these things and others have written about similar feelings. places and experiences can become mundane if they’re repeated over and over, especially when there is no real purpose or the purpose is only a means or failed attempt to fulfill a deeper longing.
yesterday, or the day before, i deleted thousands (or tens of thousands) of dollars worth of ‘success’ audio programs i had purchased when i was attempting to start business a long time ago. i also deleted the majority of audio files i had downloaded or copied off old cds from a very long time ago. it feels good to purge and let go of things i no longer need. we often hang on to things (digital, physical, mental, or emotional) thinking maybe we’ll need them one day or want to experience them again, though if we look at when was the last time we actually used them (or did we ever use them), we’ll realize that the actual likelihood we’d use them is slim to none. i also deleted old video files i either downloaded or copied off dvds. all together, i purged over half a terabyte of data. it’s funny to look at how much time and effort i wasted downloading and copying the data, thinking maybe i’ll need it some day. i think the large majority of what i deleted i never played once. it felt good to let it go, knowing i didn’t need it. i look at even recently how i’ve downloaded some audio programs i’ve found on the web so i would have them for someday rather than just play it online and see if i even like it. most of them i never listened to though knowing i had them made me feel or think i was okay and could just listen to them whenever. however, whenever never came. it wasn’t a beneficial way of looking at it. now, looking at things more from the perspective of the experience, i can choose to see it in a way that i no longer need to have it or hang on to it. and i don’t have to be on the total opposite extreme about it either.. if i end up liking something, i can choose to keep just those things. i recently read an article talking about de-cluttering.. i think they quoted someone and it basically said to look at or hold each thing you have and if it doesn’t bring you joy, get rid of it. that’s such a great way to look at it. i don’t need to think about the usability or potential of it.. it’s simply going by the feeling it brings. this can be applied to any aspect of life. rather than overthinking things, simply if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it, and if it does feel good, do it. a friend of mine who’s a transformational coach taught me about living from the ‘feel good’.. it’s simply stepping into the feel good and choosing from that place. it’s much simpler to live from feeling, or the heart, than the mind. the mind can take one in all sorts of directions and often contradict itself, though the heart, soul, and inspiration can guide in a much more effective manner. just like right now.. i wanted to write more and had other areas i wanted to look at, though i’m feeling a little tired and the camera’s been going for long enough to get a decent shot for the time-lapse, so i’m gonna head back home instead of try to force more words out at the moment.
as i was leaving the causeway, the thought of not caring came to mind. by not caring i mean in not being attached to outcome, not worrying so much about the little things, and not caring what others think or expect of you. i used to live more freely from this place of not caring. i didn’t really worry so much about certain things and would just go with the flow or what felt right. i’m sure there was some degree of caring, i don’t remember exactly, it’s been many years now.. though at some point i just got to not care or worry so much and would just enjoy the moment and the experience of life. lately i see how i’ve been trying to control things by wanting things to be a certain way or making things happen a certain way or whatnot.. this hasn’t served me as i’ve only put limitations on myself by doing so. i could write about lots of examples that i was thinking on my drive home, though i won’t go into them all as i’m not feeling them right now. as i surrender attachment to outcome or needing things to be a certain way (or seeking perfection in a sense), i’ll be able to flow more with life. trusting things are going to work out works a lot better than trying to force things to go a certain way. it’s much less stressful to let the universe handle everything rather than take it all into your own hands. the more you do this, the more you’ll see it just naturally works out anyhow (and all that time and energy you wasted was of your own making and truly unnecessary).
it feels good to just be in the moment. i’m sitting here in my condo and realizing this is okay right now. it may not be perfect though right now in this moment it’s okay. learning to relax and take it easy makes a huge difference in life. you don’t need to make everything so difficult. take time for yourself and enjoy the experience. relax. love life.
decided to do some last shots with my gopro before selling it.. funny that literally as i was dropping it off to be shipped out to the buyer gopro announced the new model
my friends Michael and Suzanne from the Flowering Heart Center in Clearwater have put together an online class to empower others to become blessing givers. the blessing is a powerful energy transfer for healing, awakening, and the flowering of the heart. i was at the satsang they had a couple days after they recorded the course and the energy was very powerful. they are giving this away for free.. here’s a link to get access to it: floweringheart.org/newsletter.htm
miracles and gratitude.. i wanted to write this the other day so let’s see if i can remember it. a miracle that i’m grateful for is that i made it through the rest of the 2012 life on the road films. i somehow made it! it was a long process to do the 45-46 films that took just under a month of me working pretty much non-stop on it from the time i’d get up to the time i’d go […]
[from california to florida]
[from california to florida]
[from california to florida]
[from california to florida]
how beautiful it was to simply lay in the grass for a short while on this sunny day. it was cooler today than it has been lately. in the shade, 71 degrees felt a little cold though after walking for a little bit to the lake nearby, it felt nice to just lay down in the sun. at first i thought i’d just walk around the lake or partially around and sit on a bench and then go back home. something told me to go to the grass. it was subtle, though my attention was drawn to it, almost like it was calling to me. at first i resisted, then decided sure, why not. i let go of thinking of what others might think of me just laying down there and just surrendered into the moment. looking up at the deep blue sky, i felt more present and relaxed. a couple bugs landed on me though i didn’t let them bother me too much and then they went away after a bit. the energy of the the brilliant sun and earth below me was grounding. i felt better than i did earlier sitting inside my condo bored trying to think of what to do or resisting being there. something so simple can be so energizing. i feel rejuvenated. just walking toward the pond i felt a little more present or relaxed as i noticed the trees around me and wasn’t thinking so much. relaxing and being present is one of the most beneficial things one can do in life. remember to take some time for yourself to simply be present and do something that calms you. while staring up at the bright blue sky above, i began to see little bits of something in the air.. i had experienced this long before. it felt like i was seeing little bits of energy moving about. i also noticed the little bugs in the air though when i focused in a certain way and noticed the energy, it felt different. it was like it was in a slightly different dimension or plane or something. while laying there i got the idea of driving down to the causeway to shoot a time-lapse of the stars tonight. i had thought of that earlier though wasn’t quite feeling it and was thinking maybe i can do that later as i’ve been shooting footage to create monthly time-lapses and this wasn’t a new month yet and i had also thought of maybe wanting to post still images to instagram of some of the shots along the way.. when you let go of the mind and it’s overthinking or needing things to be a certain way, things flow much more simply. while laying there, i felt like it’d be good to go tonight. i don’t need to wait, and it’d be good to just hang out there while the camera is running and see how cool it gets or how it is to hang out there for a while at night (as i’ve thought of doing van-life next year, and perhaps selling my condo as i may not be able to park it here and living out of the van for a while, and it’d be good to feel what it’d be like to spend more time in nature). so much of the time i spend in nature is usually doing something.. either riding my bike mostly for exercise or walking around to photograph. it was nice to just be present and just be, rather than have to do. it was so calming. it reminded me of how i would sometimes be in the past, though i had lately been so caught up in needing to do. simply being or feeling is so much better than always doing. i looked up at the tree near me and thought what if i wanted to photograph it because it felt so nice and i wanted to capture the moment.. then i thought i could carry a camera and just photograph when i feel inspired but not feel the need to do so all the time, and i also thought i could simply just be and enjoy it without photographing it. there’s no need to capture everything. sometimes it feels like it comes out of the fear of what if that moment never comes again or something like that, though living from a place of being, beautiful moments will always unfold. then the mind also thinks what about wanting to share this beautiful experience with someone else.. but then i could see how many thousands of beautiful images i’ve already created and realize i don’t necessarily need any more. shift how you see aspects of your everyday life, and you’ll see how beautiful the world becomes as you transform. this whole illusion really is a mere byproduct of what we’re feeling.. if we’re not liking our experience or want to change it, all we simply need to do is change our perspective and our perception of it will change what we’re seeing. and sometimes all we need is to take a walk out to nature and fully embrace it and allow ourselves to relax so we can really experience being there rather than thinking or feeling other things we may have been going through. oh, and i almost forgot to add that the whole walk to the lake nearby was inspired.. i walked to get the mail and wasn’t thinking i’d go out to the lake. after checking the mail, i felt like going for a walk to the edge of the pond and followed that feeling. i hadn’t locked the deadbolt on my door though quickly forgot about that and didn’t let that bother me as i thought i’d only be gone for a minute, though when i got there, feeling how nice it was but not knowing what to do, i thought maybe i’d walk around or to the bench on the other side or something.. as i started to make my way around the lake, i then was drawn to the grass after noticing how beautiful it was out and calm i was being out there. simple exploring is so fun and calming. and inspiration is always there for us if we choose to tune into it.
Let Us Make It Happen
Why So Much Suffering in the World? – Sadhguru
What is Enlightenment? Sadhguru
Different levels of Oneness and Enlightenment. Sadhguru
Have You Ever Met Any Himalayan Teachers? (Part 1) Sadhguru
Have You Ever Met Any Himalayan Teachers? (Part 2) Sadhguru
Are Dreams and Life just an illusion? Sadhguru
Is time travel possible? Sadhguru
What is the Third Eye? Sadhguru
Are Psychic Powers and Telepathy Real? Dr. Devi Shetty with Sadhguru
Life is Celebration – Sadhguru
Ancient Wisdom in Modern Times – Deepak Chopra and Sadhguru, moderated by Ms. Chandrika Tandon
Sadhguru – Nature of “The INNER SELF” and important Questions on Yoga
Of Love and Life – Juhi Chawla In Conversation with Sadhguru
an interesting experience i had recently while working on the life on the road films was that i started to lose my sense of time and place.. after staring at the screen practically all day and watching the video clips of my trip out west, i almost began to forget what time of day or day of week it was.. perhaps even what time of year it was, i don’t recall. it began to feel a bit like i was out there on the trip, re-living it. i could somewhat tell what time of day it was as i could see how the light looked out the window in my office, though i think at some points i lost track of how long i was there at the computer working on it. it was nice to begin to live more in the present moment and let go of the human constructs of defining time and location. everything is happening in the now, though when we are thinking of stuff that happened to us in the past or things we’ve gotta do in the future, it takes us away from fully experiencing the present moment. the present moment, no matter what it is or where we are, can be bliss. the more we tune into whatever this present moment is bringing us, the more aware we can become not only of everything that is happening all at once and all the miracles that this moment is bringing, but also of our true nature. we can choose to live from this heightened awareness at all times should we so desire. we’ve simply got to surrender our attachments that are preventing us from doing so. as our consciousness expands, it becomes effortless and natural to do so. living from this deepened awareness will allow us to fully embrace the beauty of the world and experience it with wonder and awe. do things that help you alter your perception of how you’re seeing the world and you’ll begin to step outside of your currently limited paradigms. there is so much to this life, even in the ordinary human experience itself. just look at how many people live vastly different lives. observe the subtle details of how others perceive and experience life.. see what paradigms and perspectives they are living from, and notice how some of these may be quite different than your own. if most people you know have similar ways of seeing the world, go find others who see the world very differently and observe them.. see what you can learn about life simply from observing how differently they see the world. learn to do so with out judgment of what is right and wrong. stepping outside of this judgmentalism will help you transcend duality. there is no right or wrong. these are human constructs of the ego mind. as we learn to accept and embrace it all, we’ll begin to see everything is simply one being expressing itself in different ways. our uniqueness is what allows us to perceive the world through a new lens, though do not let it set us apart or make us any better than anyone else. we each are here to learn, perceive, and experience in different ways so the one being that we really are can understand itself in ways that were not possible had it not decided to show up like it has. anyhow, i’m starting to think too much about this now.. simply allow yourself to dissolve in the presence. whether that’s through meditation, yoga, chanting, a walk in nature, whatever it might be.. do what allows you to feel more present, and embrace the presence.
[from california to florida]
[from california to florida]
[from california to florida]