wow, it feels like i created this whole reality. i mean the whole thing, with the planets and stars and everything. it feels like the sort of thing i would create. [perhaps i created it in order to have a playground to experience this thing called life, which was also created.]

it also feels like i created this within a dream, another level deeper than in this waking reality.. like i woke up inside a dream where i was dreaming and realized this. and i was watching myself think and type this [while trying to avoid the distractions that were there, and now i just stepped out of that, knowing that was not real, and woke up into this waking state as i realized i wasn’t typing it in a place that was real or that would be preserved in this illusion of truth].

[2017.11.14 2:52am]

[i haven’t written in a while or had this sort of insight/inspiration in quite a while. it feels good to have the realization and allow the words to flow through somewhat naturally. i look forward to more. perhaps this is part of the whole journey in the van. i’ve been wondering what my purpose was, and i’ve been thinking of quitting photography altogether as it was no longer feeling like it used to [in terms of the drive, excitement, etc]. and now i remember when i did travel in the truck camper out west, and when random realizations would come to me. this sort of feeling is what really drives me.. a connection to a deeper truth or understanding of the universe and this creation called life.]